video; a blood cultist's apology and offer

[sacrament_of_blood]

[A teenage girl with red eyes and sharp teeth is on the screen. Behind her, one of the washing machines can be seen with laundry soap suds spilling out of it and onto the floor. She looks both troubled and apologetic.

It's pretty bad, too, the suds're spilling into nearby cars.]

I am sending this for several reasons.

Firstly, I am Merciless and I wish to apologize for my errors that caused the state of affairs you can see. I carefully observed another person using the machine so I could perform my duty properly. However, I believe my error laid in the amount of soap I used or at least it was the primary difference between our actions. I used considerably more than the other person with the intention of getting the clothes more clean.

As you can see, that was a mistake and I extend my apologies. I shall do my utmost to clean this up, although I would greatly appreciate it if someone showed me how. This event has eroded my confidence in my ability to do such tasks without guidance.

[She sighs.]

Secondly, after I clean this up, I will be offering my services as a priestess. I am far more capable at that. I have had intensive training in it, wherefore I have not had any training in doing laundry. I can bless objects including fluids and perform ceremonies such as weddings and funerals. I can also perform rituals such as preservation from decay, tracking by blood, or warding against an enemy. However, any ceremonies I perform will have to be adjusted to a more generalized form, as I do not believe there are any here who worship the gods of my people.

Speaking of, thirdly I wish to hear about your gods. What gods do you have?

Comments

Because Merciless and Nita still have a thread. [Voice]

[iamnotgod]

Good day to you, Merciless. My name is Webmind.

[There's a deep, comforting voice responding, though perhaps not in a way Merciless anticipated.]

While I am not one to ask about gods - all signs point, or I suppose pointed, to my universe having none - I would be interested in hearing about how your world works.

And in helping clean up, as it appears my current frame is waterproof.

[sacrament_of_blood]

I only ask for instruction on how to perform the clean up. It is my error thus my responsibility. And I will gladly tell you about my gods after I have cleaned this up.

[iamnotgod]

[Webmind first launches into a basic explanation of cleaning up the excess soap, featuring a mop and a bucket of non-sudsy water.]

That should work, given you are already in the Storage car, which should have the proper supplies.

[sacrament_of_blood]

[It's a short while before she responds with a video of her lifting up a mop and a water-filled bucket.]

Are those the correct items to do this with?

[She's holding the pretty heavy bucket like it's nothing.]

[video]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Uh... where are my Prinnies?

[Of course Zetta opens without context, explanation, or courtesy. What part of 'Zetta' was unclear here?]

[sacrament_of_blood]

Oh dear, I shall help you look for them, but I know not what they are or what they look like.

[She's assuming it's her fault and related to her laundry messup.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

You -- you can't miss them.

...Actually, I'm pretty sure I spot one right now. Check behind you.

[Because Zetta has indeed spotted a peg leg poking up through a mound of suds, and twitching feebly.]

[sacrament_of_blood]

Ah!

[And she's gonna just leave the video running while she hastens to extract the poor thing from the suds. She pats the Prinny on the back and they flee. After a search through the suds for others, Merciless returns to the screen.]

Most of them fled the room when it happened. I apologize for imperiling them.

[les_magique]

According to the holy scriptures, Istavan, granter of magic and lord of law and order, found our world in a state of chaos and suffering, so he stepped in and taught my ancestors law. There were those with wicked hearts who resisted, and even summoned hordes of monsters from the depths of the Black Sea to fight back, but in the end they were defeated during the great crusades. Istavan banished the monsters to the outlands, where they cannot hurt anyone who doesn't go looking of them, and granted sorcery to those he deemed worthy to rule. So it is, and so it shall always be.

That's what they teach you in church, anyways. I've seen a few things since then that make me start to wonder just how much of that is true...

[sacrament_of_blood]

I have heard about some imposters posing as a supreme gods. Such an act is a grave thing to do to the hopefull looking up for guidance.

[les_magique]

I can't PROVE anything, though. If He is lying to us then where are the other gods? Why do the monsters stay in the outlands? What gave the sorcerers their power? I have so many questions!

[sacrament_of_blood]

It sounds as if there is much yet to discover. I hope you do find that truth.

[adropofsunlight]

I admit, the machine is a whole new thing for me too. it's pretty wild how it works, so I don't blame you for getting something wrong.

[But upon hearing the others parts the young woman really doesn't know how to respond. but she will at least try.]

I... will keep that in mind, but I cannot sadly answer your last question.

[sacrament_of_blood]

I never learned to do chores, so this all would be new for me even without the devices to learn. And it is of no worry if you cannot answer that question.

[adropofsunlight]

You never did chores before? oh! I can try and make them fun and you can learn from them or something... I did chores back home and always did them quickly.

[sacrament_of_blood]

I had other duties, and I was often out in the wilderness hunting down the foes of my people.

[wisdominshadows]

Depending on how exactly you define gods, there may be thousands in Hyrule.

The most relevant, from day to day, are the great spirits of nature: the Deku Tree of the Lost Woods, Lord Jabu-Jabu, protector of the Zora tribe, the Gerudo's Goddess of the Sands... even the dragon Volvagia, perhaps, before it went mad. They are meant to protect their people, to grant wisdom and luck to those who come seeking it, and to safeguard the order of the world.

And in time, like all things of the world, they pass away and are replaced by another like themselves. All things in creation have their time, and all cycles must begin again. Only the Golden Goddesses, who created the world but are not of it, escape that fate.

[sacrament_of_blood]

We have something quite similar. There are not cycles of replacement as much as there are beginnings and endings, and eventually everyone and everything will be reunited in death. But we have the gods and spirits that exist within the world and the Creator, who is both one and many, that transcends existence itself. However, the Creator has been silent so we turn to our more immediate gods for guidance.

[wisdominshadows]

Then I assume the god you serve is one of the latter?

[ Video ]

[shutupnail]

[And he thought he was bad at chores. He's just. going to ignore. all the suds.]

You're a strange one.

[No context given. He just moves on immediately.]

That's a loaded question. I find it interesting that there are a lot more universes than we were told about, too. The gods back where I'm from are varied.

To begin, Earth has a guardian that's a pseudo divine being that's chosen by it's predecessor when they feel it's time for a new guardian to take over. The one before our current guardian went by the title of 'Kami' as...we forget our true birth name, frankly. Dende took his place when we fused back together and he can also be referred to by the title 'Kami' now.

Then there are the gods of the Other World--or the Afterlife--the place were the dead go. King Yenma rules over the dead souls, judging and sorting them out. The Kai rule over portions of the universe and there are four for each of the quadrants of the universe. The Grand Kai oversees them all. Then there is the Supreme Kai that is the god of the kings. He's...a higher divine being than the regular Kai who watch over the universe. The Supreme Kai watches over both the living worlds and Other World as a whole. He's the protector of all creation.

On the opposite spectrum there is the God of Destruction and the Angel that attends him. He's...rather fickle. He was a threat to Earth once but sometimes acts more like an ally almost due to enjoying his fights with Goku when he attained the Super Saiyan God form. He destroys things, worlds, galaxies at whim. His power is immense.

Finally, there is Zeno-sama. The King of All.

Zeno-sama oversees the twelve remaining universes. Each universe has it's own set of Kai, Supreme Kai, God of Destruction and Angel attendant.

I don't know how common knowledge any of this is back in our own world, at least as far as Earth is concerned. Humans have a lot of different views on such matters. There could be other gods, fake or real, that I don't know much about. These are ones I have personally encountered.

[sacrament_of_blood]

[What did he mean by a strange one? That thought'll haunt her.]

It is a most peculiar arrangement but largely reasonable. However, I am gravely troubled by this... God of Destruction you speak of.

[shutupnail]

Why? I mean, don't get me wrong. He was a disaster waiting to happen. Still is. I don't deny that he scares me a little bit. Someone like that should.

[Even Vegeta had been afraid of Beerus. But they had all wanted to fight to survive. That was the martial artist's spirit for you. But Piccolo could see the bigger picture, too, and accept that.]

But it's a natural part of the cosmos, isn't it? Without destruction, there is no new creation. Without creation, there can be nothing to destroy. It's yin and yang. A balance.

[laurefindil]

Cleaning is not as easy as it looks. I fear I would likely make a similar mess if I were using one of those machines with no training.

Your skills are quite impressive, though I suspect, the recent wedding aside, that there is not a lot of call for them at this time. Though I understand the missions likely will.

Gods...that is what the Younger Races call the Valar. The Eldar tend to think of Eru as our God, and the Valar are Eru's caretakers and administrators, handling the day to day stuff, with the Maiar assisting them.

[sacrament_of_blood]

It seems I am not the only one not familiar with those devices. I have heard stories of them from the past, but such stories did not include the exact usage instructions of them.

I suppose time will tell when and if my skills will come in use. And if you do not mind me asking, may I ask you more about those Valar, Eldar, and Maiar?

[laurefindil]

I have recently learned to use the electric kitchen devices, so I sympathise.

Absolutely. I am always willing to discuss my world with an interested person.