Poi 05 - Voice

[firewalled]

...It's Rich.

[Might as well not bother with preamble, though that's certainly odd for him. Odder still that he has the video off, even if there's still the faint strumming of guitar suggesting that he's nervously plucking at strings as he often does.]

I'm 18 now, according to the roster. Guess I missed my birthday. I knew it was coming up, but I was kinda distracted with stuff.

[Like having a mental crisis for the better part of two months at least.]

Anyways, was just wondering like... what's the longest someone's been stuck here before they got to go back home? Maybe, uh, maybe it was wishful thinking? But I was kinda thinking with the whole Ministry investigation and how fucking useless I am on the missions that the train would boot me off by now.

[He's really trying to laugh, trying to make that sound like a joke.]

Just. Was thinking about it. At this point, my friends back home probably assume my dad stabbed me or shit... maybe they'll believe those messages we got to send at that river, but more likely they'll think I'm nuts.

[Just another certified Rich Goranski Comedy Routine. He'll be here all week, folks.]

Comments

[crouching_sin]

In general? I haven’t been on the train that long, but I was in the last interdimensional nexus for a few years. I don’t know if that’s any help at all.

[firewalled]

Ugh. Yeah, that doesn't help, just means I'm going to be stuck here another year or two if I'm unlucky.

[crouching_sin]

It’s not so bad. There’s interesting people here. Even if you aren’t a people person, learning about other worlds is interesting.

[yondu]

Sadly it don't seem to got a method to it.

Where you at? [Because he's standing by what he said before, he won't leave a damaged kid alone while they're falling apart. Even if it's real annoying. And also it sounds like a conversation where he won't want his end openly brandished.]

I think I got some ideas of helpin' on missions I'm real sure you can do.

[firewalled]

Just in my room. I can go somewhere else... the training gym, if you wanna show me some pointers.

[Even if he's not sure it's going to make a difference. Nothing so far has helped, and he's sure it's annoying by this point. He isn't going to blame Yondu for wanting to avoid him.]

Only if you want to, though.

[yondu]

Trainin' gym won't be necessary. It's a sit down kinda situation. Gonna show you some lockin' mechanisms and maybe talk to ya about a blaster. I cain't put money down for it yet but I know some good models that are easy to get used to.

[And it's easier to have a talk when you're not trying to throw punches.]

Standard car if you don't mind talkin' where people might drop by, my car if you wanna keep it private. I got one of the doubles.

voice;

[mynameisallen]

[From one person who missed their birthday to another who missed their birthday and even when they noticed will just 100% ignore because that's just a depressing reminder of how long he has actually been gone from his world.]

We can still do something for your birthday.

[firewalled]

We don't have to do that... I mean, my birthday wasn't even a big deal back home.

[He really doesn't know if celebrating is going to make him feel better or more guilty for wanting people back home, rather than the friends he's been able to make here.]

[mynameisallen]

Doesn't that mean we should make it a big deal here? I mean... I don't get birthdays because I don't actually remember my own. Mines just the day someone took me in, but with what you just said makes me want to try and make it a nice time.

Going to make it a big deal. Nothing you can do about it.

Voice

[goingthroughaphase]

[ Kitty hesitates for just a moment. She isn't sure what she can really do to help with something like this...but she also couldn't just leave it alone either. ]

Hey, uh... do you... maybe want some company?

[firewalled]

[Frankly, he doesn't know what to do, either. It feels awkward reaching out, when he's had to spend all his time here needing help from others. It feels shitty to put that burden on yet another person, but he still feels too guilty to just turn her away.]

I, uh... I mean, I'm probably not the coolest guy to chill with right now. I don't wanna kill your mood or anything.

voice

[blitzcheer]

Hey, it's Tidus. [ It's voice right now, so let's stick to that. ] I know this place really sucks, and - you wanna hang out? I got some drinks. --Energy drink or stronger. And snacks.

We can have a crappy birthday celebration. [ He's trying to keep it light too, a note of humour. He doesn't want to say too much over an open speaker. ]

From one guy to turned eighteen here to another.

[firewalled]

[...He's just going to hope his voice doesn't show any indication of the tension he felt in his body at the implication of something stronger.]

No booze. I'm... I'm not super hungry, but...

[He wants to turn him down, wants to push him away so he can be alone like he wanted, but... If he really wanted to be alone, he probably wouldn't have even turned on the ICP, right? He would have kept hiding, like he has been.

...God, he can't even punish himself right, can he?]

If you really wanna do something for your birthday, I wouldn't mind.

Voice

[fivemilesdeep]

[To an extent, he gets it. He's been homesick from day one, he gets completely shellacked when they wind up on worlds where his magic doesn't work properly, and...well, Rich has had a rough time of it since he'd arrived, hasn't he.]

[His voice is gentle but firm when he finally speaks up.]

Just because you're not a warrior doesn't mean you're useless.

[This isn't a platitude; this is the truth.]

[firewalled]

[His own response is bitter and blunt, the sound of laughter chasing it doing nothing to ease the cold tone.]

And just because you keep saying it, it doesn't mean it's true either. I've clued in that trying isn't helping anyone. If I wasn't useless, something would've paid off by now.

[irrationally]

[ At least the message.. isn't much of a surprise. It's been pretty obvious that Rich hasn't been doing too well lately - and who could blame him? It's not exactly like being stuck in this situation is good for anyone's mental health.

So the joking despair and the joking self-deprecation? It's expected. Though not necessarily fun to listen to. ]

.. Rich. There is no method to this madness.

[ The madness that is the train, anyway. ]

It does not seem to have any conscious thought as to who it drags in here, or who disappears. [ Alice figures Rich is more likely to believe her saying that than saying he's not useless. ] Take it from someone who has been here for over a year now.

[firewalled]

[Rich winces softly. He'd be guilty enough hearing Alice again after how he's treated her over the last little while, but also realizing she has an extra six months of dealing with this stupid place? It's a wonder she can be so kind with him when he's being so selfish and immature.]

...I'm sorry. I didn't know you were here that much longer than me. I can't even imagine dealing with it that long.

[But what if he has to?]

Video

[dyingpro]

[A concerned Zagreus pops onto a video feed.]

Do you... want to talk? Or maybe some company? Or a hug?

[He is not here to answer the question, since he really doesn't know the answer. But he is here to listen, and to provide some much-needed cuddles.]

[firewalled]

[Rich is a little shocked that Zagreus even responded, much less is offering his company. They hadn't really talked much except for Rich giving that Sexuality 101 lecture.

He blushes, but thankfully, he's still on voice.]

I-I don't need you to worry about me. I'm just being a selfish asshole, as usual. I'll get over it...

[gundamofthedesert]

I suppose happy birthday is in order then. If you still want to do something, we can definitely put something together.

Hmm... I'm not sure who the longest on the train is anymore at this point. I think... Roland and Romeo are among to the longest, but maybe they are just longer than me. The Blue Team leader remembers arriving in Egret. But there are also cases of people leaving and coming back so some have memories of having been here before.

I hope that those back home don't think that anything bad has happened to us. From the sounds of people who leave and come back, they don't really notice that those here were gone so maybe that is a good sign.

[firewalled]

See, I'd rather not bother, but it seems like no one wants to let me off the hook like that.

[Everyone here is too damn nice.]

I know some of those names. It's hard for me to keep track of months, but I think I've been here close to seven months now. I don't know how slow time moves back home compared to here, but I have to imagine they'll notice eventually...

[agoodsoul]

Mate don't beat yourself up. We didn't have a choice being here. If you can't handle missions nothing wrong with that, shit is always insane on them. Not been much help myself.

[Dennis is a bit of a hypocrite though, as he's been pretty hard on himself about it plenty. Been trying to get better when it comes to fighting and such, but shhh.]

But hey, congrats on still being around, yeah?

[Being alive, being around. Living another year.]

Wonder if there are any candles rolling about in the kitchen for a cake...

[firewalled]

I can't help but think something is wrong with that, since this stupid train specifically told me I had hero potential, like I'd actually be able to help anyone.

[Like an injured kid with trauma could do much of anything, but even those excuses only exist to punish him now. He covers up a wince at the idea of "being around" here, but at least recognizes it's just a turn of phrase.]

I don't really need a cake. If there was gonna be one, I could probably just bake it myself...

[Cooking is one of the few things he considers himself good at, after all.]

[voice]

[subcircuits]

Rich.... Oh Rich, I'm so sorry I missed it. [Had an alert in his Interface any everything! Shit!] Can I come see you?

[firewalled]

[Just the person Rich didn't want to hear from. He didn't want to burden Devero with more, and he only feels that meeting up will exacerbate the irrational bitterness he feels that over this. He just thought Devero would let him know beforehand... Maybe if he could have braced himself, he wouldn't be taking it so hard.]

It's no big deal. I told you before, it wasn't big at home, so... I don't need you to come see me or anything.