voidtreckernet

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Guys!

[ Oh look, it's the slightly out of breath sound of Peter Parker's voice. ]

I really need to know how we get more points because I only have like two right now and I really, really wanna buy some redbull I haven't had any since like three months now? That's just not right.

Anyway, do you think you just like... go around shaking people's hands? I can do that. I'm super good at doing that! I just don't know if that's actually how this works.

[ Edit: ]

Uh just so everyone knows, this was in no way an attempt to get people to buy me redbull. Please do not do that. That's not what I want. I really just want to know how you get more points. that's all.

[ Ignoring that Renee already put the order in. ]

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I got you, bro.

What does that mean?

Wait.

Did you buy me redbull? Oh my god Renee, you are the best don't let Gwen know I said that cause I always tell her she's the best-which she is and now you're both the best.

It means I am buying you Red Bull, but you can't chug the case! And I know Gwen's the best, I'm just her dickweasel, and if I have her back I gotta have yours too, right? Because she's my bestie and you're HER best man, right?

Yeah, yeah! I guess?

Oh my god, thank you so much!

But I really am gonna figure out this point system thing and then all the points are belong to me.

[Peter can hear her laughing.] Pete, Pete, I put it in the ICP but it's not like the train said yes yet! But I tried at least, okay?

Just promise me you won't make your head explode with caffeine overload, okay? I can think of a couple people I'd piss off if that happened, and I really don't want that on what I call a conscience.

Pfft, I'll be fine. I used to drink like.. three a day-sometimes four. Usually late at night because who needs sleep anyway?

[ Him. He needs sleep. But since it doesn't usually come. Red Bull. ]

Pete. Bro. Bud. We're teenagers. At least I think I'm still a teenager. We're growing. We need sleep. At least sometimes?

[Even if it's a precious commodity and hard to come by. This, she understands.]

Promose me you won't chug more than one! Or...I dunno, I'll make Mr. Stark ration them.

Yeah well, tell that to my eleven year old self.

and you can't tell Mr Stark-he'd never let me have one-he hates that I drink those things. I don't get why though 'cause I have a super metabolism-haha-get it? Super-uh...never mind, anyway-it's not like I can't handle them?

Pete, you sure he's not listening in right now?

[A pause. Probably because she's shaking her head.]

If he doesn't already know somehow, well. I mean I trust your metabolism can handle them, mine too, but we're still on a train with a limited amount of things to do. We don't need Speederman around here, ya know?

Besides, you're as important to me as one of my actual brothers, I gotta look out for you, okay?

Yeah, yeah. I get it.

I won't chug'em

but thanks again, you have no idea how much this means to me.

[ He'd say that she's like a sister to him but he doesn't actually have a sister. Just Buttercup who thinks he thinks of like a little sister. ]

Peter!

[ Excuse him while he has a minor heart attack and nearly falls over before jamming the button to respond and-uh... where is Mr Stark right now? He doesn't want the train to hear him getting in trouble for whatever it is he did this time. ]

Oh god-what did I do? I haven't done anything, Mr Stark! Honest! If I did, you'd know because I'm a terrible liar and things have a way of backfiring in my face.

You just asked for red bull, you dumbass! I'm going to kick your ass and then hand you over to May.

No, no! I didn't ask for it. I just said that I wanted to buy some.

[ And then Renee offered, but he's not gonna tattle. ]

Kid, everyone likes you here. They're going to offer to buy it for you.

[He knows Peter wouldn't intentionally be asking people to do that, but it was reality. There were a lot of good, generous people on this train and the fact that Tony had been generous with them might also affect how willing they'd be to help Peter- his 'son'.]

You know if I catch you with any of it, you're going to be in trouble.

Yeah, and if they did I'd either say no or find someway to pay them back for it. C'mon Mr Stark, you know me better than that.

[ He wants to argue. To question why it bothers Tony so much but he gets the feeling he'll just get in trouble and they've probably had this conversation before but he might not have been listening. He probably wasn't listening and playing some game on his phone. ]

I do, that's why I'm pointing it out. I know you wouldn't intentionally make people spend their points on something very expensive like this. You've had trouble asking me to spend points on books which you know I would gladly do. So I'm not saying this because I think you're being manipulative or anything, just maybe not thinking this all the way through. You're a good kid.

[Pause.]

Now make another announcement telling people not to buy you that crap before I pull a punishment from my very fun list I've made for you recently. You won't like it.

Did you clear those with Aunt May? That seems a bit extreme.

[He makes a face.]

For permission? She's not my aunt! And you bitch when I ask you to pick up a pencil, so I'm pretty sure anything I do you're not going to like.

That's not completely true-It depends on what you want me to do with a pencil. Like answering more questions. And what I was doing before you told me to pick up the pencil-like playing a game.

[ Probably a video game, but shh ]

Okay so the fact that we're already talking about these punishments an indication that you're not going to do what I'm asking and so already assessing your consequences?

Edited 2019-12-29 08:14 (UTC)

[Tony is surprised when he hears Peter do exactly as he'd been asked. He was quiet for a few moments afterward.]

Thanks, Petey. You're a good kid.

Thanks Mr Stark, you too.

[ ... ]

Oh my god, that's not what I meant! I'm sorry-I meant-uh

thanks, you're great?

[Wait, what? Oh.. wow.

Just in case anyone was wondering, this is how Peter charms his way out of being in trouble.

Tony was falling over laughing. Don't mind him! Nope, not stopping. Just RIP Tony, he's going to laugh forever.]

[ All Peter can do is sigh as covers his face with his hands and lowers his head. ]

You actually enjoy that poison, Parker?

Two things- It's not poison an yeah. I do.

Ah, now I see why you're not very tall. It's stunting your growth.

[It's not like the second shortest person on the train should be talking or anything.]

Edited 2019-12-31 04:38 (UTC)

Um. No. It was actually proven that caffeine does not do that. I'd pull up a source and throw a link at you but that's, sadly, not how the train works.

You don’t need it, you know. You’re rather obnoxiously energetic even without it.

Pssh. I'll metabolize it fast enough, you probably won't even know the difference. Besides, I'm only gonna have a set number so it's not like I'm gonna be drinking one after the other.

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1/2

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3/4 I lied

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Sorry Joss is such a little shit.

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