[Video] Kazoo 1 - Late At Night Before Obligatory Train Nap

[gentle_jim]

What's up train stains? Handsome Jack here. I was just in the music carriage and I came across the darndest thing. Does anyone else remember these little plastic shit flutes? Haha, brings back memories.

And since I happen to be super musically inclined, I thought I'd serenade you all with a couple of songs I happen to know by heart.


[Cue super loud and intensely awful recorder playing. And its not going to stop any time soon because Jack doesn't need to breathe.]

Comments

[yondu]

I've met folks that did a better job of holdin' a note while passin' gas, but I'm figurin' that's purposeful. Is this revenge personal and you'd just take ever'body out with the splash damage or are you just weapons testin'?

[gentle_jim]

[Jack pauses in his relentless recorder assault to squint at the screen.]

Oh hey, you're blue too. [Obviously not a hologram blue, as this person doesn't have the tell-tale semi-transparency.]

Wow, rude. I'm obviously doing this to improve morale around here.

My morale at least. Shit's hilarious. [Grin]

[afterburner]

[Renee looks completely overjoyed by Jack's selections. He may think he's annoying the whole train. He isn't.]

And me without my recorder!! At least I can serenade you in other ways!

[No, you don't want to ask.]

[gentle_jim]

Holy shit, I hope you're doing that with your hands-

-or alternatively in a crowded area that would take out the most people.

video

[blue_ice]

This is a public service announcement for our train newcomers: if you're ever bothered by ICP noise, the best place to escape it is the quiet coach, located toward the front of the train between dining and standard.

Headed there now, so don't bother calling me.

Re: video

[gentle_jim]

Hey, no! That's cheating!

[helborn]

[Hm. Well. He's never used this cantrip, but Casper summons a ukelele into his hands.]

[Does he know how to play ukelele? Absolutely not.]

[However after he starts badly strumming, he starts singing along with the music.]

With the taste of your lips I'm on a ride, I'm toxic I'm slippin' under -

[Incidentally Casper does need to breathe... but not for a while.]

[gentle_jim]

Hey, hey, hey - This is a one man show, pal. Get off the stage.

[melodiouspacifist]

[ Please Jack, you're breaking his non-existant heart. ]

I don't think you're playing that right.

[gentle_jim]

You sure? Turn it up, I don't think you're hearing it right!

[hashtagparkerluck]

Oh my god! Ouch-OUCH!

[ Peter's covering his ears because that is SHRILL ]

Some of us have very sensitive hearing and can you please stop?

[ Preferably before he gets a massive sensory overload? ]

[gentle_jim]

You might wanna order some earplugs then, kiddo- cause I can keep this up allllll night.

[Until the train forces them all to sleep of course.]

[miseris_socios]

So I take that to mean you want another shock and glitching out?

[gentle_jim]

Oh, come on. How can you not appreciate this? You're at the age your butt would have been playing this crap in school!

[Video]

[ayao]

Thank you for your thoughtfulness, but all good things must come to an end eventually. [In other words, shut it.]

Re: [Video]

[gentle_jim]

Sure, sure. I figured I'll just keep going until the train sends us all off to slumberland. Just lie back and think of this as your lullaby.

sorry not sorry / only semi here / oh boy they're vr fighting already

[securityconsultant]

[It's going to do the entire train a favor and try and figure out how to SHUT THIS SHIT OFF THE SYSTEM

hope you don't mind something trying to track your signal, Jack, and press the 'OFF' button.]

why am I not surprised

[gentle_jim]

[This actually manages to mute him for a second before he realizes he's not making any sound. He blinks and resets his voice module.]

Oops, must've glitched.

[wisdominshadows]

That is a remarkable amount of effort to put into playing like a sullen child.

[gentle_jim]

Aw, thanks, princess. It's all thanks to the fact I never took a lesson in my life.

voice;

[adropofsunlight]

You have the potential but could use a little work.

[Because of course, she is trying to think of the positives, right?]

Re: voice;

[gentle_jim]

[Jack's laughing at that] The potential for what, exactly? 'Cause I think I'm doing exactly what I came here to do pretty darn well!

[its_dad_sanzo]

Wow!

[ This may not be the desired reaction, but it's one you're getting anyway. ]

I need to get one of those!

[ Dear Gods don't let him get one of those. ]

[gentle_jim]

Yeah, about that...

There were a bunch in the music carriage but I kinda confiscated them all so nobody could exact revenge.

Voice

[consider8]

[Eight for one was actually enjoying it. Not the recorder, obviously, that was terrible, but she had trained herself to tune out irrelevant information and was instead focusing on the nice accompaniment to the awful recording playing.]

Excuse me. The music is quite good. What are the name of those songs?

She'll have to note to hear the real ones.

Re: Voice

[gentle_jim]

[Okay, that's weird enough to get him to pause for a second to answer.]

You're shitting me, right?

video

[ourtomorrow]

...n-chan! Ken-chan, using the ticket didn't stop it!

I can tell....!!

[ The most handsome of Jacks will get like five seconds of feed of a 12-year-old boy, already in orange pajamas and with his deliriously horrible haircut mussed from lying on a pillow, pressing buttons on the ICP with an increasing expression of alarm.

After that, um. Bug feet crawl all over the screen. ]

Re: video

[gentle_jim]

Nice try, kiddo- but ain't nothing stopping this concert!

Also wow, that is one bad bug infestation. Please tell me your cabin isn't anywhere near mine.

Some Time Later

[namethattune]

[The broadcast cuts out. A bit of revenge is exacted. When the broadcast turns back on, it is Siebren, a smirk on his face as he gestures grandly and tilts the ICP upwards to reveal Handsome Jack, sans recorder, flat against the ceiling face first. He is likely swearing up a (somewhat muffled) storm. Siebren absolutely does not care.]

The evil has been defeated.

[He's on a roll tonight for references others are unlikely to understand.]

He will be remaining there until such time as the train forces us to sleep. To those who share this room with him, I highly recommend either staying up or bedding down somewhere else for the evening. Additionally, if someone would be kind enough to alert the occupants of the quiet car that the train is once again safe, I would much appreciate it.

[yondu]

[A few minutes later.] I got her down to the kitchens, by the way.

I think Piccolo is in that room? So if he shows up you can probably just let him down and give him to him... And that ain't showin' pity.

[Commitment or no, he's sure that the big green dude could take pretty good care of his territory. But he can't blame him if he had the Cherry problem of sensitive ears.]