voidtreckernet | who am i: jelly 17 (cw: mentions of death/identity/spoilers)

[ Scene: Mami in the greenhouse, with a fluffy leaf-green hedgehog on her shoulder. ]

Hi everyone...

I wanted to let you know about something more serious. It's about who...or what I am. So this doesn't surprise you later. I guess some of you already knew I wasn't quite what I appeared to be, but I'm still processing it.

I used to watch shows about magical girls when I was younger. If you've never seen those shows before, they're about girls with magic who use some kind of gem to change into cute battle outfits, have animal friends to mentor them, other magical friends to fight alongside...and love and justice always won out. I used to dream about what it would be like to become one, though I was sure it wasn't real.

And then, when I least expected it, it happened. I was heavily wounded after a car crash, and a cute animal appeared to me. He promised me any wish I wanted as long as I agreed to become a magical girl and fight witches who trap and kill humans. So I wished to keep living...and became what I am now.

I thought I was just a regular magical girl like the ones on TV. But it turns out I'm a lich. Revenant. Undead. He ripped my soul out of my body and put it in a gem...I know that's usually dark magic. I've been reassured that I'm safe for you all to be around, Rosetta helps keep my soul gem safe. But it just feels strange, that I've been like this for a while...is all. Any advice on living with it would be appreciated.

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I'm familiar with various types of dark magic, if it helps. Dark magic may've been used to create what you are, but you aren't the one using it. I'm....also a really good listener, if you want to talk about this.

Thank you.

All I want now is to be sure that I'm safe for everyone to be around. I still want to work as a healer.

My healing hasn't been hurting anyone, has it?

I can't say that one way or another, but we should definitely talk Mami. I'm a healer too, with my Empathy.

[This post is enough to drive Alfredo to use an ICP, for once.]

Mami? ...

Well, for one, Raven's right; I'm not sure I understand, but how I feel about you is still the same. The dark magic isn't your fault. And you're a good person, and a good friend.

[He pauses, visibly debating bringing something else up on the Network, but opts otherwise.]

I - is it all right if I come to where you are, though? I think I do have, if not the same perspective, then something similar.

But you're not going to have to live with this alone, and we'll help keep you safe too.

...That's an idiotic way to look at it. I'm a soul in a freaking book and you don't hear me going on about being undead or a lich or all that crap. You've got a soul so what the hell are you worrying about?

If by dark magic you mean evil, that is not always the case. If you mean dark magic as in darkness, as in night, then yes. It is that.

[ He's Night's child and cuts souls away from their bodies. It's an important distinction to make. ]

You seem more a shade still in possession and connected to your body than anything else.

...eh?

[ She's politely...baffled for a moment. ]

I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend. I know I'm not the only one who isn't human. Sorry, I guess I'm just. Feeling foolish, for thinking I was.

...and that's normal? I mean. I'm not going to suddenly hurt anyone?

...yes, that's all right. I'm not leaving for a while.

And I appreciate it, thank you.

...all right. I'll be ready when you are.

I just want to...I don't know, run some tests on myself? If you have any ideas how I can do that.

But -- that's what I'm saying! Who says you're not human? I'm a demon and no one can take that away from me, even if I'm also a book! What's the freaking difference in your species if your soul is inside or outside so long as it's yours?

Anytime.

[Alfredo imparts that as warmly as he can, before retrieving his ticket from the ICP and making headway to the Greenhouse.

It's not long before he gets there, though he does glance about to see if there's anyone other than Mami's Pokémon immediately in view.

This isn't something he tells everyone, after all.]

Mami, I'm here. And I mean that I'm here for you, as well. For support.

[He offers her his hand, an open gesture.]

It may have been dark magic that created you, but the notion that darkness is suited only for evil ends is a misconception. I am an incomplete being as well, though it was my heart excised from my body, rather than my soul.

[He taps his chest, right where his literal heart would be.]

The important thing is to remain true to yourself. Even if the dark magic has left a mark on your soul, don't allow it to define you, but don't fear it, either. Fearing something grants it power over your heart, which is where the danger truly lies.

How shades are in death depends a lot on how they were in life. If you just found out, you've acted much like you did while alive, correct?

Well that sure does sound... like a thing. Soldat remembers her from her from the mission, certainly, and there was nothing dark about her then. And, well, that also kind of sounds like them. Only they don't have a crystal, they have a lantern.

So they bake up some cookies in between working on meals, and hunt her down to offer her the platter to choose from. The shuttered lantern in question is still slung from a strap on their shoulder, in fact.

"I think I might be a lich, too," they say without any real preamble beyond the cookies. "I think that's okay."

Magic definitely exists in my world, and while some of it is pretty undeniably bad, most of it... it really depends on how it's used. Like for example, my thing is fire magic; it can be helpful- keeping you warm, cooking food, forging metal, stuff like that- or it can be destructive. So even something that most people would see as something dark or dangerous can be used for good.

[The rest of it, though... that's the big one.]

I never lost my soul... but I did have my heart taken from me as a kid. Spent more than a decade of my life after that as an incomplete being. I wish I could say I handled it well, but I... really didn't. But hindsight is 20-20 and all that, so I'd be willing to lend you a hand if you want me to.

...I suppose you're right. It's just taking a little getting used to.

So...were you another kind of demon before?

Oh...mm. That sounds familiar.

I'd really like to talk, whenever you have time. But I know it's a sensitive subject.

Hey, I STILL am that. Your general Majin-class demon, humanoid and top of the heap in all possible ways. If I had my body back...

Cookies. A tiny smile graces her face, though while she's been wondering just what's different about being a lich...does she actually need food? Something to ponder.

"You too? Were you...changed, like I was?"

I think you're right about that. I want to stay strong and keep fighting for everyone.

But no matter what we're missing...we exist and we have a mission, right?

Yes. I still went to school, studied, cooked. My duty to fight was the only change I knew about. I could've gone on doing that, if not for this mission.

Then being a shade doesn't really change who a person is?

All right...I think I understand. You lost your body, instead of a heart or soul.

Yet you've still found ways to keep us all on our toes.

I'm really glad.

[ She carefully lays her hand in his. She still feels human. Anchored. It's weird, but she's doing her best. ]

What did you want to tell me?

Damn straight. But I gotta ask, what about this whole situation makes you feel different than you did? Or not human or whatever?

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who am i: jelly 17 (cw: mentions of death/identity/spoilers)

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