who am i: jelly 17 (cw: mentions of death/identity/spoilers)

[magicurls]

[ Scene: Mami in the greenhouse, with a fluffy leaf-green hedgehog on her shoulder. ]

Hi everyone...

I wanted to let you know about something more serious. It's about who...or what I am. So this doesn't surprise you later. I guess some of you already knew I wasn't quite what I appeared to be, but I'm still processing it.



I used to watch shows about magical girls when I was younger. If you've never seen those shows before, they're about girls with magic who use some kind of gem to change into cute battle outfits, have animal friends to mentor them, other magical friends to fight alongside...and love and justice always won out. I used to dream about what it would be like to become one, though I was sure it wasn't real.

And then, when I least expected it, it happened. I was heavily wounded after a car crash, and a cute animal appeared to me. He promised me any wish I wanted as long as I agreed to become a magical girl and fight witches who trap and kill humans. So I wished to keep living...and became what I am now.

I thought I was just a regular magical girl like the ones on TV. But it turns out I'm a lich. Revenant. Undead. He ripped my soul out of my body and put it in a gem...I know that's usually dark magic. I've been reassured that I'm safe for you all to be around, Rosetta helps keep my soul gem safe. But it just feels strange, that I've been like this for a while...is all. Any advice on living with it would be appreciated.

Comments

video;

[lanxichen]

This... is a very young age to have to deal with all of that.

But as to your question, there are several aspects to it.

The first part is that you were misled about what was going to happen, so rather than choosing it, it was chosen for you. So the responsibility for the choice is not entirely yours.

The more important part is what you do with it. I have seen the proper and 'rightful' powers be used to cause harm, and I have seen the deviant and 'wrong' powers be used to protect and shelter and nurture, both by people using the powers or those, like you, affected by them.

It is not wrong to want to live. Even less so when it is not at the cost of causing harm to others.

Re: video;

[magicurls]

I just have to make sure I don't hurt anyone.

I'm a little scared, still, but I don't really have anywhere else to go. So I'm in this mission to help, as always.

video;

[lanxichen]

It is all right to be a little scared, when something is so different, and so dangerous. It is all right to be confused, too, or unsure.

Remember that you are still you. I have no doubt that you will continue doing your best. That is enough. And remember - being kind to yourself is allowed, too.

[magicurls]

Thank you. You're very kind too. I think...if I just focus on how I can help, it'll be all right.

[lanxichen]

Yes.

You cannot changed the past - only the present, and the future.

I hope it will get easier to think about, one day, too.

[magicurls]

...my hopes are a little stronger than they were. I just have to keep the flame lit.

[lanxichen]

Yes, that would be good. Are there things that have helped, before, to keep hope bright in your heart?

[magicurls]

Not being lonely is the big one. I've missed having friends. But it's not so hard to find people to bond with here, and I'm grateful.

[lanxichen]

No, it is not difficult, here - something to be very glad about.

Have you been on the train for long?