voidtreckernet | 5th Horseshoe - Video, early morning

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5th Horseshoe - Video, early morning

From: Library
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[Nita looks rather disheveled - but it's more that her hair and clothes are clearly evident Nita's only been up a little while, than that she looks tired.

Still, her expression is grim.]

Anyone else here who just woke up with a vision, now's the time to report. Mine was- I was walking on clouds-

[Normal enough for her.]

Then I heard wings, something soaring through the fog towards me. It was some sort of bird. Its feathers were out of place, and it was just going to attack me when I woke up.

... Did anyone else get that, or are we getting a range of tasks on our mission tomorrow?

[Nita pauses, glancing down at what's most likely her Manual.]

And for those new here, yes some of us get visions before every mission. It's been pretty reliable.

Also, we can get book summaries if we look up titles here in the Library, whether we already have the books or not. If anyone wants to help me test out that feature's range, lemme know.

Nita, out.

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[ He lets out a laugh. It's not quite as boisterous as usually - although that might also be since there's a hint of a callout in Nita's words, huh. Or at least an acknowledgement of what she's seeing now they're no longer seperated by screens. ]

I think it might just all be a big scam.

[ Inigo pauses, almost hesitant. He's not sure whether or not to ask this. Mostly since he doesn't want to push Nita too hard into talking about something she might not want to talk about - but also since he's kind of worried about her asking him the same thing in turn.

In the end he figures it's at least worth an attempt. It comes with a slight squeeze of his arms. ]

.. Hey, Nita.. Are you.. troubled by anything specific? I mean, aside from the vision..

[At first, Nita seems genuinely confused - if touched - by the question. Letting the hug linger, it takes a moment for her expression to change.]

I can't say I'm untroubled, but-

It's better than it was last month.

[Though, that was a fairly easy benchmark to cross, Nita thinks. But Inigo deserves honesty.]

Better is good.

[ It's the first thing he says, with a slight smile on his lips, because it's just true. Often so much happens here on the train in a row, that better is all you can get sometimes. Even though Inigo fully wishes with his heart for everyone's burdens to be lightened, if not just a little bit. ]

.. Still not ideal though, huh? [ Otherwise Nita would be looking a little less like the quality of sleeps she's getting is lacking. ]

It is.

[Though Nita still nods, expression turning a bit wry again at the question.]

There's always something, it feels like. Even if we're not effected by it directly, sometimes having everyone away from their homes like this isn't all for the best.

[She's able to laugh at how that sounds, granted.]

It still feels like, if we could just figure out the right things to ask-

[Nita gestures at the Library ICP not two feet away from them.]

We could get everyone home - or just out of the void - a lot faster, get a definite end date for this train's journey.

[ For a moment Inigo is quiet. He isn't too sure whether or not he wants to go home that badly, honestly. Not with what he knows will be waiting for him eventually.

But he understands. A lot of people miss home. For one, Tidus could be reunited with Yuna if he was just able to go home, right..? It'd be a good thing, even if it might not necessarily be the best for Inigo himself. ]

But we tried, didn't we..? [ That one time when they had been messing around with the ICP alongside Tidus.

He lets go of her now for the moment. ] It's as if even though the train usually listens, it never responds. It can't be that there's just one magic phrase that would suddenly work, right?

And we'll keep trying.

[Nita nods, letting Inigo get his own space back.]

It's hard to talk about this without - anthropomorphizing it?

[That was how SXT-2 had described it, anyway.]

But if it's thinking that we can't help it with its own problems, then why would it expect us to have a solution?

[In that it's not actively considering it.]

If I have to be entirely honest, it is rather difficult for me to think of the train as..

[ How to word this. Inigo's voice trails off, and he frowns a little in thought. ]

As.. a person? Or a thing that thinks for itself, I guess.. [ If it wasn't for the fact that Nita regularly talks to it, or at least can kind of sense it, Inigo would have thought of it the same as a cart back home or something like that. ] But I know it's the truth.

[ So he's trying! ]

And also.. [ He reaches up a hand, scratching his head. It's already hard enough for him to think about these sorts of things usually, but it's extra hard when he feels so tired. ] I mean, why would it drag us here to begin with if it thought we couldn't help it?

[Nita nods, understanding why Inigo's wrestling with the concept. Just because it doesn't seem to think like a human doesn't mean it isn't thinking!]

There's probably protocol involved, if what we've heard about the void ministry was any indication.

Plus-

[Nita falters, wondering if she should voice the rest of the thought, but pushes forward:]

In that third vision from Jema'grethy, the one Minako got - the train was there in space, but it wasn't fighting. Maybe solving problems itself isn't supposed to be an option, somehow?

Not an option..

[ Inigo repeats the words. Sheesh, it's like he can't make sense of it, no matter how much he turns it over in his head.. His hand moves from scratching his head to nervously being pulled through his hair, trying to fight the anxiety at the edges of his mind. ]

This train really is so complicated. [ Apparently that's the only conclusion he can reach. ] I really don't know what it's thinking. If only it was clearer about everything to us, it'd make everything so much easier.

[ He pauses, and - judging by the look in his eyes - seems to realise something. He glances over at Nita, seeming nervous, hesitant, but then he does say-- ]

Actually, I.. I did ask it the other day if it could somehow let me know whether or not Yuki is doing okay out there. If he's back home.

[Nita wants to hug him again, once he says what he'd asked about. But she doesn't just yet.]

I'd want to know that too.

[About Yuki, about Sven, about Sarai and Dread and Namine and everyone else who left-]

For all we know, there's some storage function that's the opposite of how things are brought on the train - but unless we run across it ourselves, I really can't say.

[She can't give him that hope, and she hates it.]

[ He nods. She's right, and he knows it. That's exactly the part about it that hurts so much - that they can't be sure. Yuki's rejection of him would still hurt in any case, but at least Inigo would be able to stop worrying about the other if he was safely back home.

Same goes for anyone who leaves, honestly. It's that uncertainty.. ]

I have no idea why it can't just let us know. Withholding that information is basically the same thing as actively hurting us.

[ Because it hurts him. Practically daily.

But at least Inigo knows he's not the only one who must feel that hurt. Not with how many people leave, and how often they leave. Everyone knows someone who left. ]

... Makes me wonder if it doesn't know, either.

[If every 'Hero' called or brought on was a surprise, and each loss equally so.]

We should probably list that on the Feedback post as something that specifically makes us unhappy, see how the train reacts to that phrasing.

Edited 2020-09-16 21:52 (UTC)

I told it..

[ His voice trails off as he tries to think of what specifically he typed in a few days ago. It's hard to remember, because he had just totally gotten carried away by his emotions back then. (It makes it a little hard to think back on too, but he tries to shove the feeling down.) ]

Hmm.. I don't think I told it that it made me unhappy, or worried. [ He'd probably remember it if he typed that specifically, right? ] I think I just told the train that I wanted to know if Yuki was happy..

[ So the option of telling the train that it makes them unhappy is still on the table. ]

[Nita nods, considering (because Powers know looking back on emotionally-wrought moments is never fun)... then gestures at the ICP beside them.]

We can send our messages together, then. Or separately?

[Double the power, and all.]

[ Inigo raises a hand up to the back of his head, awkwardly scratching it. ]

I suppose two messages may be better than one.. [ If the train plans on listening at all, that is. Inigo isn't so convinced of that fact. ] Although it-- it may be getting kind of tired of me. I've already been sending it a lot recently..

[ And it even ignored his request for clocks to make Tidus happy! Boo, train. ]

And it likes you, right?

Hey, we've both been up in its business a lot. And I can't say for sure if it likes me...

[Nita's not going to let Inigo draw that distinction! Not when he's going to be hard on himself for it, certainly.]

I can go first, though, if that'll help any.

[Take some of the pressure off, maybe?]

.. Yes, I'd like it if you could go first.

[ Because Inigo has been feeling down enough these past few days to be even more insecure and nervous than usually. And therefore even harder on himself as well. There's no way he could manage to write a message to the train right now without feeling like he was being a bother. ]

Is it.. Is it alright if I look along while you're writing it? Or is it too personal?

[Nita weighs the pros and cons of either option before responding - giving the matter serious consideration as it deserves.]

Only if you want to. I don't mind, though.

[And, checking that her ticket is inserted properly, she settles in to type her message, sighing once she gets the expected generic response.]

Ready for your turn, Inigo?

[She doesn't look up.]

[ Apparently he does want to, since Inigo silently looks on while Nita writes. He thinks it's a good message - balancing getting the point across with compassion, which he thinks is very much like Nita. He should probably have expected her to write something like this.

The moment she speaks up about it being his turn though, Inigo looks almost a bit startled - like he's pulled straight out of his thoughts and back into a very unsure reality. ]

A.. Ah, right.

[ Somehow he looks a little awkward. Nita's message was so good. How is he supposed to write even anything half that good, especially when he's feeling pretty miserable? ]

I, uh. Of course. I'm always ready. [ That didn't even sound slightly convincing. ]

[Nita turns at Inigo's voice, standing up and retrieving her ticket in one fell swoop.]

You can do this, Inigo. I know it.

[That small encouragement, as she backs away from the seat and gestures for Inigo to take her place.]

[ To be fair, he really does try at that encouragement. He doesn't want to let Nita down, after all. So Inigo does move over to the ICP, sitting down and even taking out his ticket and inserting it.

But after that.. he just stares at the screen. He doesn't know what to write that Nita hasn't already said, or that won't just annoy whoever or whatever reads these. Inigo just stares at the black screen that's supposed to be filling up with words, but he just-- he just can't right now. Not with the swell of anxiety in the back of his head, drawing the breath straight out of his lungs.

He doesn't look at Nita when he speaks. ]

N-No, I-- [ I can't. ]

I.. um, I'll do it some other time. Before the month is over. [ Because if Nita's vision is any indication, they'll most likely be stuck doing the mission starting tomorrow..

He bends his head. ] I promise. Just-- not right now. I'm sorry.

[An anxiety attack?

Nita moves forth, enough to gently squeeze Inigo's shoulder.]

We'll make the time. Check in and see how we both feel after the mission, then?

[She asks softly; she's not here to pressure him, or berate him.]

[ It feels so hard, but Inigo slowly sucks in a breath, and then forces himself to turn his head enough to actually look at her. He doesn't speak up right away. Instead he stares like he's studying Nita's face - like he's looking for something there. ]

.. You don't mind?

No.

[This time, there's no hesitance before she speaks.]

This isn't like saying goodbye to anyone - but it's because people we know are leaving that we're asking.

And it's still never easy to just say it.

[No matter how much it looks like it is for her.]

You're good at making difficult things look easy though, you know.

[ He really does think that. It's not like he's never seen Nita struggle before - but there have also been so many times, like right now, where she's seemed capable despite having to do tough things.

Despite his front and bravado, Inigo doesn't feel like he's nearly as good at that. Not when the insecurity and nerves bother him as heavily as they do now. ]

5th Horseshoe - Video, early morning

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/has EMOTIONS over these two... Also, wrap hereabouts?

yes, wrap! and these two definitely need to talk sometime after the mission ;;

On-train, or on the finale post? Either way, count me in!