voidtreckernet | 5th Horseshoe - Video, early morning

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5th Horseshoe - Video, early morning

From: Library
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[Nita looks rather disheveled - but it's more that her hair and clothes are clearly evident Nita's only been up a little while, than that she looks tired.

Still, her expression is grim.]

Anyone else here who just woke up with a vision, now's the time to report. Mine was- I was walking on clouds-

[Normal enough for her.]

Then I heard wings, something soaring through the fog towards me. It was some sort of bird. Its feathers were out of place, and it was just going to attack me when I woke up.

... Did anyone else get that, or are we getting a range of tasks on our mission tomorrow?

[Nita pauses, glancing down at what's most likely her Manual.]

And for those new here, yes some of us get visions before every mission. It's been pretty reliable.

Also, we can get book summaries if we look up titles here in the Library, whether we already have the books or not. If anyone wants to help me test out that feature's range, lemme know.

Nita, out.

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[ He nods. She's right, and he knows it. That's exactly the part about it that hurts so much - that they can't be sure. Yuki's rejection of him would still hurt in any case, but at least Inigo would be able to stop worrying about the other if he was safely back home.

Same goes for anyone who leaves, honestly. It's that uncertainty.. ]

I have no idea why it can't just let us know. Withholding that information is basically the same thing as actively hurting us.

[ Because it hurts him. Practically daily.

But at least Inigo knows he's not the only one who must feel that hurt. Not with how many people leave, and how often they leave. Everyone knows someone who left. ]

... Makes me wonder if it doesn't know, either.

[If every 'Hero' called or brought on was a surprise, and each loss equally so.]

We should probably list that on the Feedback post as something that specifically makes us unhappy, see how the train reacts to that phrasing.

Edited 2020-09-16 21:52 (UTC)

I told it..

[ His voice trails off as he tries to think of what specifically he typed in a few days ago. It's hard to remember, because he had just totally gotten carried away by his emotions back then. (It makes it a little hard to think back on too, but he tries to shove the feeling down.) ]

Hmm.. I don't think I told it that it made me unhappy, or worried. [ He'd probably remember it if he typed that specifically, right? ] I think I just told the train that I wanted to know if Yuki was happy..

[ So the option of telling the train that it makes them unhappy is still on the table. ]

[Nita nods, considering (because Powers know looking back on emotionally-wrought moments is never fun)... then gestures at the ICP beside them.]

We can send our messages together, then. Or separately?

[Double the power, and all.]

[ Inigo raises a hand up to the back of his head, awkwardly scratching it. ]

I suppose two messages may be better than one.. [ If the train plans on listening at all, that is. Inigo isn't so convinced of that fact. ] Although it-- it may be getting kind of tired of me. I've already been sending it a lot recently..

[ And it even ignored his request for clocks to make Tidus happy! Boo, train. ]

And it likes you, right?

Hey, we've both been up in its business a lot. And I can't say for sure if it likes me...

[Nita's not going to let Inigo draw that distinction! Not when he's going to be hard on himself for it, certainly.]

I can go first, though, if that'll help any.

[Take some of the pressure off, maybe?]

.. Yes, I'd like it if you could go first.

[ Because Inigo has been feeling down enough these past few days to be even more insecure and nervous than usually. And therefore even harder on himself as well. There's no way he could manage to write a message to the train right now without feeling like he was being a bother. ]

Is it.. Is it alright if I look along while you're writing it? Or is it too personal?

[Nita weighs the pros and cons of either option before responding - giving the matter serious consideration as it deserves.]

Only if you want to. I don't mind, though.

[And, checking that her ticket is inserted properly, she settles in to type her message, sighing once she gets the expected generic response.]

Ready for your turn, Inigo?

[She doesn't look up.]

[ Apparently he does want to, since Inigo silently looks on while Nita writes. He thinks it's a good message - balancing getting the point across with compassion, which he thinks is very much like Nita. He should probably have expected her to write something like this.

The moment she speaks up about it being his turn though, Inigo looks almost a bit startled - like he's pulled straight out of his thoughts and back into a very unsure reality. ]

A.. Ah, right.

[ Somehow he looks a little awkward. Nita's message was so good. How is he supposed to write even anything half that good, especially when he's feeling pretty miserable? ]

I, uh. Of course. I'm always ready. [ That didn't even sound slightly convincing. ]

[Nita turns at Inigo's voice, standing up and retrieving her ticket in one fell swoop.]

You can do this, Inigo. I know it.

[That small encouragement, as she backs away from the seat and gestures for Inigo to take her place.]

[ To be fair, he really does try at that encouragement. He doesn't want to let Nita down, after all. So Inigo does move over to the ICP, sitting down and even taking out his ticket and inserting it.

But after that.. he just stares at the screen. He doesn't know what to write that Nita hasn't already said, or that won't just annoy whoever or whatever reads these. Inigo just stares at the black screen that's supposed to be filling up with words, but he just-- he just can't right now. Not with the swell of anxiety in the back of his head, drawing the breath straight out of his lungs.

He doesn't look at Nita when he speaks. ]

N-No, I-- [ I can't. ]

I.. um, I'll do it some other time. Before the month is over. [ Because if Nita's vision is any indication, they'll most likely be stuck doing the mission starting tomorrow..

He bends his head. ] I promise. Just-- not right now. I'm sorry.

[An anxiety attack?

Nita moves forth, enough to gently squeeze Inigo's shoulder.]

We'll make the time. Check in and see how we both feel after the mission, then?

[She asks softly; she's not here to pressure him, or berate him.]

[ It feels so hard, but Inigo slowly sucks in a breath, and then forces himself to turn his head enough to actually look at her. He doesn't speak up right away. Instead he stares like he's studying Nita's face - like he's looking for something there. ]

.. You don't mind?

No.

[This time, there's no hesitance before she speaks.]

This isn't like saying goodbye to anyone - but it's because people we know are leaving that we're asking.

And it's still never easy to just say it.

[No matter how much it looks like it is for her.]

You're good at making difficult things look easy though, you know.

[ He really does think that. It's not like he's never seen Nita struggle before - but there have also been so many times, like right now, where she's seemed capable despite having to do tough things.

Despite his front and bravado, Inigo doesn't feel like he's nearly as good at that. Not when the insecurity and nerves bother him as heavily as they do now. ]

[At first Nita aims him such a wry look - then she moves to squeeze his shoulder.]

I'll take that as a compliment. But- you're never alone, okay?

No matter how terrible things are, or feel, just remember that.

[ Inigo sucks in a breath.

Then he tries his best to smile, even though it's not very wide. ]

Yes. I.. I know.

[ Granted, it's still possible to believe that now. When everything Starts Happening So Much during the mission later? Not so much. But for now - he still means it. ]

I'll remember it, Nita. Or.. try to, anyway. Thank you.

[Nita nods.]

I can't - and won't - ask for more than that, Inigo.

... Back to bed for the both of us in the meantime?

[Because don't think she's forgotten what started this conversation - or that Minako had also voice her opinion.]

[ Inigo wants to protest. Wants to say that there's a lot of stuff he has to do, that he can't afford to sleep, but..

Then again, how much good is he going to be like anyone in this state? Not a whole lot. Nita - as usually - is right. ]

I guess a little bit more shuteye can't hurt. [ Just a little bit though. Then he can go back to way too much fussing over everyone around him and their miserable states. ] Come on, let's go.

[Nita's next gesture is a little shoulder nudge; one last physical reminder she's still there beside him.

Then it's off - literally - to the showers, at least for her.]

Right behind you.

Edited 2020-09-21 22:03 (UTC)

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5th Horseshoe - Video, early morning

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/has EMOTIONS over these two... Also, wrap hereabouts?

yes, wrap! and these two definitely need to talk sometime after the mission ;;

On-train, or on the finale post? Either way, count me in!