Audio

[redarrowqueen]

How do you put bad things in the past when you are still haunted by them? [The island is rearing up again]

Comments

audio

[blue_ice]

Don't let the past define you. Remember what you felt then...and stick around to spite it. Whatever happened, you're stronger now. Hold on to that thought.

Re: audio

[redarrowqueen]

Trying but it feels like its in vain.

I mean going from being seen as a piece of meat to having agency, I am so not making sense. [but a clue!]

audio

[blue_ice]

Not that we have much agency on the train. You're right.

But that means you dig in and claim any small victory you can get.

Re: audio

[redarrowqueen]

I lost agency for little over a year, this is a major step up.

But any day minus the collar is a good day

[blue_ice]

...I was collared too. To treat an undeserving human like a dog is a disgrace.

Claw back every inch of agency that you can regain while you're here, and live the way you want to. That's the best revenge.

[redarrowqueen]

[In a major act of trust Thea lowers enough of the hoodie to reveal the fading indent.]

My life for over a year, more shocked I did not slug anyone on the platform.

Just trying to claw back what the island took.

[blue_ice]

[ He flicks the ICP screen at his station on too, and mirrors: his are burn marks rather than choking marks, but still an angry color. He can't imagine who would do that if not a parent---or wait, he can. And that made him even angrier.]

Whatever else the train has done to us, it hasn't forced anyone into danger. At least there's that. And we're largely allowed to form our own community.

Heh. Kind of ridiculous, the little things you celebrate.

[redarrowqueen]

So far. [Even now part of her is sure it's a trap.] But the community is unreal.

Tiny wins.

[blue_ice]

Unreal in what way? Ridiculously disorganized?

[redarrowqueen]

Now I have choices compared to the island. But yea it's tag tag but I like it.

[blue_ice]

Mm. Good to hear it.

And I'm mandated to say this now, but let me know if there's anything I can do for you as a council rep.

[radishlobbyist]

[ She has no idea what this is exactly about but bad things which haunt you... That's familiar. ]

I don't know. The only way I have found is to keep busy.

[redarrowqueen]

Same but its a losing battle.

[radishlobbyist]

[ There's a longer silence. She hasn't really admitted this to anyone yet but... ]

It is. [ Once the newness wears off and you settle into a routine, it gets harder to keep artificially busy. ] You have to... Well. There is nothing to do but keep trying, is there?

[redarrowqueen]

Yea it is.

Lost agency for over a year, just trying to regain it.

[radishlobbyist]

[ Lost agency... That is different from her case of a horrible death then. ]

It sounds like something that will simply take time. Persistence.

[redarrowqueen]

[She's still piecing it together but lost agency is at the top.]

Feels like a losing battle, for every good day there's 3 bad ones.

[radishlobbyist]

[ There's a new hardness to her voice. ]

And you think giving up will change that?

[redarrowqueen]

Can't let Eros win.

[radishlobbyist]

Eros is the one who kept you... controlled you?

[Agency, she had said. It could be many things.]

[redarrowqueen]

To put it simply.

[radishlobbyist]

Is it a danger we have to worry about here?

Voice

[mtsilver_conquor]

You remember there's good, that there's still good to come, and if possible, you find a listening ear. Otherwise, keep a diary. No-one sees it but you and it can be a form of catharsis.

Not as good as talking to someone, but it's better than nothing.

Plus, what Kaiba-san's said is right. Don't let it define you.

Re: Voice

[redarrowqueen]

Kinda started a journal when the dreams started, made sure nobody can find it. Especially the kids.

Just hard still, guess a little more distance will help?

Re: Voice

[mtsilver_conquor]

Yeah. Distance helps.

[There's experience in her voice.]

It helps a lot.

[Audio]

[unfavorableinstigation]

I'm pretty sure everyone heals at their own rate, but... I can second the writing idea.

And tea. And people to talk it over with, whenever you're ready to do that.

Re: [Audio]

[redarrowqueen]

I now have a well hidden notebook, no kid should know what happened.

Re: [Audio]

[unfavorableinstigation]

[Nita could say something along the lines of 'that doesn't mean some don't already' - but then, she wasn't one of those kids to begin with, so it would be at best very gauche.]

Might help to... burn it? Or something, if you fill it out completely.

I can help with disposal.

Re: [Audio]

[redarrowqueen]

Eventually right?

Re: [Audio]

[unfavorableinstigation]

These books we have can only hold so much each.

[Even with her Manual, Nita should probably order more journals...]

Re: [Audio]

[redarrowqueen]

I'm sure more notebooks are in store.

[Audio]

[sendiintheclown]

Compartmentalization only goes so far, eventually the compartments break. Find someone you can trust, completely, with your life. Eventually you can open up to them, and talking about it can help. But that's what's worked for me, and I don't know what you've been through compared to my own past.

Re: [Audio]

[redarrowqueen]

Its a work in progress but I'm trying to trust and open up.

Re: [Audio]

[sendiintheclown]

If you just need to get it off your chest and say it, and you don't care if you're talking to a stranger, I am willing to listen. I also have a kitten you can snuggle with if you need to. I've been finding her very therapeutic.

Re: [Audio]

[redarrowqueen]

Thanks and did I hear kitty? [hey its a light enough topic?]

Re: [Audio] Let's be honest, this train needs some therapy animals.

[sendiintheclown]

Yes, you did. She's quite small, but very friendly for a wild breed. I can bring her to meet you somewhere if you like.

[usernamesarecool]

Hullo Thea, need some tea and chat?

[redarrowqueen]

Give me 10 minutes?

( audio )

[kabe]

That can be a very difficult thing to do. I'm still haunted by those who helped me on my journey. I wish they didn't have to die but I try and remember the good times. It helps.

Sometimes just talking to them helps too, have you tried that?

Re: ( audio )

[redarrowqueen]

Trying to, its a work in progress right now.

[kabe]

It can be rough, but if you have friends it can help. Do you have anyone here?

[redarrowqueen]

No but people are keeping an eye out. But I do miss my brother, friends and boyfriend.

[kabe]

I know the feeling. I'm lucky I have my boy-

( yuna paused for a moment, taking a soft breath. )

My friend here with me. We both arrived here on the same day actually.

[laurefindil]

You take one day at a time.

Kaiba has excellent advice.

If there is anything I can do to help, please do not hesitate to let me know. Nightmares, memories, whatever is haunting you...even if you just want to yell or hit something. I'm a pretty sturdy elf.