voidtreckernet | Day 28

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Day 28 | Video

[It's late at night. Not quite the early morning but certainly later than you would normally see Romeo around.

The video turns on into the kitchen, Romeo is a little bit away from the ICP, stirring something in a bowl but he glances over, as if to check that the ICP is recording.]

Um hello everyone. I hope I don't wake anyone up with talking so late but I was in bed and thinking really really hard about some things and my mind wouldn't go to sleep so I came to bake cookies but I'm still thinking and sometimes when you got lots of big questions in your head it's a good idea to talk about it.

[He gets closer, bowl in hand as he keeps mixing.]

I was thinking about Osiga and all the people we saved but also how we left all their bodies and I guess that's okay because we brought the bit that was properly them into the void.

But then I was thinking about what made a person a person because it's really confusing. Because some of the people didn't want to come into the void at all. Because without a world or a body then... that's bad for them I guess but I know lots of people without bodies or worlds and they are all people.

So I read a book that said a person was a person because of all their memories and experiences, that it's what we do and see and know that make us... us. But I knew I was Romeo even when I didn't have any memories at all. When everything was nothing I was still Romeo.

But then I wondered if I was. Because there's people here who look the same as each other and they are different people because they... had different lives I guess so am I the same Romeo as I was when I was alive? Because I don't remember any of that and all the things I did and my friends I made since then have made me me. But did that mean I wasn't really a person when I had no body and no memories?

It's really tricky to think about and I'm worried about all the people we rescued and if they are sad or scared about it because I guess it's different. If you have to live in the void 'cause your world was eaten then if you got snatched in the void but maybe can go home.

And that's different again then not knowing where you come from at all because I guess you can't really miss or be sad about somewhere that you don't even know about.

[Big Questions indeed. He sighed.] It's just really big. So I'm making cookies. If anyone is still awake they can come and get them, they'll be ready once they've been in the oven.

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[Idia is normally up until the train zaps him to bed. In fact he counts on that and uses that to his advantage. It's great! Sure, he still has to get ready to go to bed, but it takes him there without him needing to do anything!

Idia lets out a soft 'ooh' at that answer,] Chocolate chip is good. [Good choice, Romeo.

You know, if it is cookies, milk is a good choice, Idia grabbing out the container for that before closing the fridge and heading to grab a glass. Oh, or two maybe, he looking over to Romeo's direction.] ...uh? [Raising the milk as if to ask the question without actually asking it. You want a glass too, Romeo?]

Oh milk and cookies taste so good together! [He grins at him and nods, he'd love a glass.]

That's a great idea!

[Oh good, he got it without Idia having to say anything, he grabbing two glasses in one hand before setting all items down on the bench near where Romeo has been hard at work baking. Pouring to fill both glasses before taking up his own and holding it between his hands as he shuffles a little bit away again to give Romeo room to get his drink when needed.

...ughhhhh.] Are you really actually worried by all of this? [Why is he doing this?! Why is he asking?! Idia doesn't want to get into this! But... well...]

[Romeo took his glass with a smile and sipped some milk, holding the glass carefully with both hands.

He looked at Idia and tilted his head.]

A little bit I guess. I'm not really scared about it or anything but I was just thinking a lot about it so I guess I'm a bit worried.

[Idia tapped his fingers lightly against the glass as he held it, silent as Romeo answered, and for several long moments afterwards... before speaking softly.] There's an old thought experiment, called the Ship of Theseus. If you have a ship and over time you slowly start replacing the pieces as they need it, until all the pieces have been replaced, is it the same ship, and if not, when did it stop being the ship of Theseus?

In a way people, well, humans... donno about... gods and others, [Since those were an option considering who was on the train.] Are also like that. Our cells replace themselves once they get too old and die, even our brain cells which hold our memories and personality. So it's the same, are we still ourselves despite slowly being replaced piece by piece? [It's... not quite as heavy as Idia can get, but he feels its a good start point to consider this all from. Just what makes a person? Was it even a physical thing? If they were just a floating conscious would they still be a person, or something else? Or did the physical body not matter at all?]

[Romeo had never heard of that ship before but he understands the idea. If he had a ship and replaced all the pieces over a long time would it still be the same ship. It's a good question.

Human cells replaced each other too?] So a person when they are big doesn't have the same cells as when they were little? But they still got the same brain and feelings right?

Yup. The body is constantly replacing cells as they die off, doesn't change the person. [Well, that's simplifying this all... but that's fine for now.

And that was only dealing with the biology too, let alone anything else. Idia hadn't intended to get into this... but he's kinda on a roll now, even if it's mostly just him talking to himself more so than Romeo, just using him to prompt his thoughts along.] And that doesn't even take into consideration the use of technology to improve upon the body. Replacing parts or copies of consciousnesses. The use of tech to increase a lifespan is limitless, with time. There's still a lot to be discover.

[Bits of the body died and got replaced? That sounded a bit worrisome! But Idia's words only got more complicated when he started talking about technology. Replacing bits and copies of consciousness.]

Technology can make people live forever?

[Oh. Whoops, he got onto that, didn't he. There's a heavy sigh as Idia brings himself back to the moment, looking down at his drink.] That comes back to what you've been talking about and what a person is. You can copy memories, you can replace parts as they break, the fact we're here shows they can move souls or parts of them into another form. It depends what you consider alive.

[Before pulling a face,] Ughh, who wants to live forever anyways... [Then raising his glass for a large gulp of milk, though still looking like he had just tasted something bad. Living forever... please... that was torture.]

I think I will. [He looks into the milk quietly.] Well not live. But Shinki don't die... well they can. If someone kills them or breaks them I guess... But mister Zetta is very strong so I don't think anyone would be able to beat them. We don't grow or get old or anything though.

[And he doesn't mind, he likes being alive after all! But he's been a shinki and on this train long enough to know others will grow up and change and he won't.]

[Idia let out a loud and long sigh,] Ehhhhh, [And waved a hand as if to dismiss that all.] Who knows with all these universes, it doesn't even sound like most of them work to the same rules. It's impossible to guess that what is considered life in each of them. [A pause and a bit of a chuckle under his breath.] It's kind of exciting. [And Idia's trying not to think too much about the concept of death and life in those worlds, just examining them like any scientist would.

Then that sigh again.] It not bad to question this kind of stuff, just don't let it drag you down. [It's better to be able to take a step back and detach from the emotions it may cause. To observe but not fall too deep into it.]

I guess it is exciting, it's all very different and we don't really know what is right so we just got to guess and discover it.

[He sighed.] But a bit scary too. Which is why I made cookies, they're good for keeping our spirits up!

Pretty much. [Idia agrees, thinking over the options they had just on board, let alone all the worlds they have been to. Gods, humans, dragons, books, Mort. Though he wonders if Mort and his kind were even alive despite moving and responding... but that once again that depends on the standards of what 'alive' was.

Idia even manages to smile a little bit.] Sweets are good. [But he may be bias on that. Oh,] Did you know how to bake before you came to the train?

[He nodded.] I learned in the heavens. My first goddess was Elfnein. She was really smart but she was just a kid too and she didn't really know how to cook. And even when she learned a bit she...

[He sighs, but it's a fond sigh. He misses her.] She would get all distracted with her science and just forget to eat or drink so I had to make sure she had lots of coffee and snacks! So I learned to bake and cook so we could have yummy food all the time and to keep her spirits up.

[Ahh,] There's gods in your world too. [Since it seemed not all of the universes here had them, or fell more into religion and belief than existing, though that seemed to prove a fine line depending on what way you looked at it. Though...] ...I guess that makes sense. [Since Romeo was in heaven, so...

Moving on, Idia had to let out a sigh of a 'heh'.] Ortho would tell me off all the time for doing that too... [And also tell him off for only wanting to eat snacks and candy and not 'real food'. Snacks and candy was so much easier to eat when busy though! They were small and fast and didn't leave as much of a mess as a meal did. Far better than a full meal.]

[He nodded, there had been gods, in the heavens. He smiled.]

Who is Ortho? He's right. It's not very healthy to forget to eat like that!

[So it seemed like Idia needed someone to help him with things like that too!]

[He really does... like... really. Honestly, the fact Idia is still up and about on the train and not keel over from lack of nutrients so far is really a surprise.]

Oh, um... Ortho's my, ah, my little brother. He's really good at taking care of me. [It's just as doubtful Idia would had survived Night Raven College without Ortho around there to make sure he eats, and sleeps, and does his class work, and everything.]

Oh! Wow! I bet he must be a really great little brother! How old is he? I bet you miss him a lot...

He... [Oh, that hits somewhere that is already hurting, but also... warm and good, Idia nodding with the barest shadow of a smile.] Yeah, he is.

Oh, um, [That... is actually difficult to answer.... in a way Idia really doesn't know how to, or wants to.] Ahhh, he's, ah, um, ah... 16, he's 16. [That works for now. It makes enough sense for Ortho to be that age, even if he wouldn't look it... but the chances of him arriving on the train... Well... Idia can hope, but that's about it.]

Yeah... I really do. [Idia's tone dropping again, that weight of just how long he's been without Ortho never far from his mind. They've never really been apart before, and to be without him here for so long...]

[Romeo reached out, to touch Idia's hand gently. He knows it must be hard, to miss him so much, when he wasn't here and Idia was.]

I bet he misses you too. But we are gonna try and find a way to help everyone go home and then you can see him again. It won't be forever that you are parted!

[It couldn't be. Because everyone was working so hard!]

[Idia doesn't do well with physical touch, with anyone, other than Ortho. So when Romeo reaches and touches his hand, Idia has to put all his effort into not instantly pulling away, though his hand still quickly forms into fist, a steady shake to it while Romeo was still in contact. It was nothing personal, Romeo, Idia just had a very big personal bubble.]

Y-y-yeah, [He manages to get out, luckily having drunk enough from that glass that he wasn't spilling anything as his hands shook.] I-I-I got to leave him a message when I went back, b-b-but that's about it. [Oh,] Oh, and he left me one. Told me to take lot of pictures and videos in case he finds me so I can show him what I've done. [And Idia as trying to... just in case Ortho showed up, to show him all he had done. For his brother to be proud of him for finally getting out and doing stuff. Even if Idia hated it so very much...

Idia wouldn't normally do this... but Romeo's been so nice to him... more than Idia thinks he deserves, or more than he understands at times... but...] D-d-do you want to see him? I have pictures of him on my computer. [A slight finger wave to Idia's ever present skull computer hovering around.]

[He withdraws his hand pretty quickly, seeing how Idia didn't seem to like it much. He wonders why but he doesn't ask, it might be a sad reason that Idia doesn't want to talk about and he's already talking about sad difficult things.

It was good that he had sent a message though, and got one in return. He nodded with big eyes.]

I'd like that very much.

[It was... yeah... it was a sad reason... and maybe explain why Idia knows a bit more about this topic than he ever wants to talk about...

However, the more pressing problem... he just told Romeo that Ortho was 16... but Ortho does not look that age. At all. Eehhhh, he's regretted this instantly... but... well... he doesn't know how to back out of this.

Ehhh, he shouldn't had gotten caught up in this all.] Hold on.

[Bringing up a holoscreen from his computer, Idia hesitated a moment as he typed away, then another pause, feeling he had to explain.] H-h-he, ah, he, um... Ortho doesn't... look his age. He looks.. younger. [And, well, as Romeo would see in a moment, he also looks not fully human, a few more taps and a holographic display of Ortho in his dorm body uniform appeared floating in the air. At first it seems like just a still image bobbing away, but it blinks now and then, the blue fire of his hair and chest flame moving in motion very similar to Idia's own hair.]

[He tilted his head and nodded. Honestly the concept of 'sixteen' is very loose in his head. He is used to gods who don't age or people who look different ages to how they are and though there are people who are that age on the train they all look different.

The boy in the hologram looks older than Romeo and that's enough to reasonably be 'sixteen'. He also doesn't look the same as Idia, not exactly. Not really like a human but he couldn't name what he does look like. Maybe a robot?

Just different.] Wow! So he is your brother. He's got the same hair as you!

[...why had he done this? Seeing that image right now...

It hurt.

It hurt so much.

He would look so much more like Idia if he was actually-

Idia stayed very still for a long moment, before waving the image away.] I'm leaving. [It's barely whispered out to Romeo. He needs to be alone. He needs not to think about this. He needs a distraction from the talk of death and what is life and what happens to people. He needs a distraction from...

Putting his half finished glass down on the table, Idia pushes himself away from it and starts towards the door. Sorry Romeo... he just... can't right now.]

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myblueskies - 2022-06-02 12:44 (UTC) - Expand

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Day 28 | Video

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whoops should had googled that before I said it, seems I'm wrong on the brain cells, ah well, heh

aww no worries

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