voidtreckernet | Day 28

[It's late at night. Not quite the early morning but certainly later than you would normally see Romeo around.

The video turns on into the kitchen, Romeo is a little bit away from the ICP, stirring something in a bowl but he glances over, as if to check that the ICP is recording.]

Um hello everyone. I hope I don't wake anyone up with talking so late but I was in bed and thinking really really hard about some things and my mind wouldn't go to sleep so I came to bake cookies but I'm still thinking and sometimes when you got lots of big questions in your head it's a good idea to talk about it.

[He gets closer, bowl in hand as he keeps mixing.]

I was thinking about Osiga and all the people we saved but also how we left all their bodies and I guess that's okay because we brought the bit that was properly them into the void.

But then I was thinking about what made a person a person because it's really confusing. Because some of the people didn't want to come into the void at all. Because without a world or a body then... that's bad for them I guess but I know lots of people without bodies or worlds and they are all people.

So I read a book that said a person was a person because of all their memories and experiences, that it's what we do and see and know that make us... us. But I knew I was Romeo even when I didn't have any memories at all. When everything was nothing I was still Romeo.

But then I wondered if I was. Because there's people here who look the same as each other and they are different people because they... had different lives I guess so am I the same Romeo as I was when I was alive? Because I don't remember any of that and all the things I did and my friends I made since then have made me me. But did that mean I wasn't really a person when I had no body and no memories?

It's really tricky to think about and I'm worried about all the people we rescued and if they are sad or scared about it because I guess it's different. If you have to live in the void 'cause your world was eaten then if you got snatched in the void but maybe can go home.

And that's different again then not knowing where you come from at all because I guess you can't really miss or be sad about somewhere that you don't even know about.

[Big Questions indeed. He sighed.] It's just really big. So I'm making cookies. If anyone is still awake they can come and get them, they'll be ready once they've been in the oven.

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[He really does... like... really. Honestly, the fact Idia is still up and about on the train and not keel over from lack of nutrients so far is really a surprise.]

Oh, um... Ortho's my, ah, my little brother. He's really good at taking care of me. [It's just as doubtful Idia would had survived Night Raven College without Ortho around there to make sure he eats, and sleeps, and does his class work, and everything.]

Oh! Wow! I bet he must be a really great little brother! How old is he? I bet you miss him a lot...

He... [Oh, that hits somewhere that is already hurting, but also... warm and good, Idia nodding with the barest shadow of a smile.] Yeah, he is.

Oh, um, [That... is actually difficult to answer.... in a way Idia really doesn't know how to, or wants to.] Ahhh, he's, ah, um, ah... 16, he's 16. [That works for now. It makes enough sense for Ortho to be that age, even if he wouldn't look it... but the chances of him arriving on the train... Well... Idia can hope, but that's about it.]

Yeah... I really do. [Idia's tone dropping again, that weight of just how long he's been without Ortho never far from his mind. They've never really been apart before, and to be without him here for so long...]

[Romeo reached out, to touch Idia's hand gently. He knows it must be hard, to miss him so much, when he wasn't here and Idia was.]

I bet he misses you too. But we are gonna try and find a way to help everyone go home and then you can see him again. It won't be forever that you are parted!

[It couldn't be. Because everyone was working so hard!]

[Idia doesn't do well with physical touch, with anyone, other than Ortho. So when Romeo reaches and touches his hand, Idia has to put all his effort into not instantly pulling away, though his hand still quickly forms into fist, a steady shake to it while Romeo was still in contact. It was nothing personal, Romeo, Idia just had a very big personal bubble.]

Y-y-yeah, [He manages to get out, luckily having drunk enough from that glass that he wasn't spilling anything as his hands shook.] I-I-I got to leave him a message when I went back, b-b-but that's about it. [Oh,] Oh, and he left me one. Told me to take lot of pictures and videos in case he finds me so I can show him what I've done. [And Idia as trying to... just in case Ortho showed up, to show him all he had done. For his brother to be proud of him for finally getting out and doing stuff. Even if Idia hated it so very much...

Idia wouldn't normally do this... but Romeo's been so nice to him... more than Idia thinks he deserves, or more than he understands at times... but...] D-d-do you want to see him? I have pictures of him on my computer. [A slight finger wave to Idia's ever present skull computer hovering around.]

[He withdraws his hand pretty quickly, seeing how Idia didn't seem to like it much. He wonders why but he doesn't ask, it might be a sad reason that Idia doesn't want to talk about and he's already talking about sad difficult things.

It was good that he had sent a message though, and got one in return. He nodded with big eyes.]

I'd like that very much.

[It was... yeah... it was a sad reason... and maybe explain why Idia knows a bit more about this topic than he ever wants to talk about...

However, the more pressing problem... he just told Romeo that Ortho was 16... but Ortho does not look that age. At all. Eehhhh, he's regretted this instantly... but... well... he doesn't know how to back out of this.

Ehhh, he shouldn't had gotten caught up in this all.] Hold on.

[Bringing up a holoscreen from his computer, Idia hesitated a moment as he typed away, then another pause, feeling he had to explain.] H-h-he, ah, he, um... Ortho doesn't... look his age. He looks.. younger. [And, well, as Romeo would see in a moment, he also looks not fully human, a few more taps and a holographic display of Ortho in his dorm body uniform appeared floating in the air. At first it seems like just a still image bobbing away, but it blinks now and then, the blue fire of his hair and chest flame moving in motion very similar to Idia's own hair.]

[He tilted his head and nodded. Honestly the concept of 'sixteen' is very loose in his head. He is used to gods who don't age or people who look different ages to how they are and though there are people who are that age on the train they all look different.

The boy in the hologram looks older than Romeo and that's enough to reasonably be 'sixteen'. He also doesn't look the same as Idia, not exactly. Not really like a human but he couldn't name what he does look like. Maybe a robot?

Just different.] Wow! So he is your brother. He's got the same hair as you!

[...why had he done this? Seeing that image right now...

It hurt.

It hurt so much.

He would look so much more like Idia if he was actually-

Idia stayed very still for a long moment, before waving the image away.] I'm leaving. [It's barely whispered out to Romeo. He needs to be alone. He needs not to think about this. He needs a distraction from the talk of death and what is life and what happens to people. He needs a distraction from...

Putting his half finished glass down on the table, Idia pushes himself away from it and starts towards the door. Sorry Romeo... he just... can't right now.]

Sir? ]Had he said something wrong? Had he upset him? He hadn't meant to. He hadn't wanted to make Idia sad at all.

He watched him sadly, as he left. Should he go after him?

But if he wanted to be alone...

He watched him quietly as he left, feeling strange in his head and in his heart.]

Day 28 | Video

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