Kazoo Day 24

[zombiemessiah]

VIDEO|CW: ZOMBIE RELATED STUFF

[Murphy's in the store room by the ICP there, hand leaning on the wall beside it and he's tilted so he can point at the refridgerator. And he has very, very red skin and is wearing a red team uniform shirt but with a leather jacket over it.]

Hello! Hi. My name is Murphy, pleasure to meet you. Having a great time here, really. Loving the whole 'pre-apocalyptic civilization experience', that's always a favorite but.... Ummmmm.

[He purses his lips for a bit, makes a little popping noise, before continuing.]

Sooooo... there was a tupperware container in the fridge holding an item wrapped in brown paper. Silly me, I didn't think to label it. [Tiny wince. Oopsie doodle.] That item was a human brain. Pretty recognizably a brain. That is my brain, and I'm gonna need that back. [Big smile? Big smile. Come on, do him a solid.]


OOC: It was stolen by Jack, but its fine for anyone else to have balked at it or poked it or whatever. Permissions are here as needed.

Comments

[sirentologist]

[Tannis doesn't even question why he'd need a brain. In fact, now she wants one.]

Oh is that who that belonged to? I was intending to claim it for myself, although I suppose I must share it.

[zombiemessiah]

Are brains really in such high demand here?

Aside from the really obvious intelligence jokes that can be made. Like... who else would even need one?

...

[Now he's really wondering if 'brain' qualifies as a 'snack' for him in the shop or small item.]

[sirentologist]

Oh, I could think of several things I could do with a spare brain. Or a dozen.

[zombiemessiah]

And I thought my social life was fulfilling. I need to try harder.

Okay, so. When was the last time you saw it in there?

[sirentologist]

Why would you bother? Socialization is so very overrated. And really, other people are only a distraction from more important things.

Hm, this morning.

audio.

[hashtagparkerluck]

uh...

a brain?

like a for real, human brain?

[zombiemessiah]

I don't know, I wasn't on the grocery run to pick it up.

[You know what? He's not even going to pretend that it was for an experiment or something. It's a waste of time.]

Actually, it could be convincing brain tofu for all I know. It tasted real enough from the little I had, but didn't have any memories or knowledge.

[knifewithnoname]

Why did your brain be being in the fridge?

[Asking the important questions here. But look Soldat's soul was in a lantern, so this mans brain could well be in a fridge.]

[zombiemessiah]

[Oh hello there small child.]

[Some adults may not want to have conversations like 'sometimes the bad or on a good day morally gray man needs a dietary boost.' Murphy lives under the assumption kids figure it out sooner or later, might as well be sooner.]

Because that brain isn't for thinking.

That brain was for snacking. I wanted to make some cookies for myself so it would last longer.

I mean, I'd share but I don't think most people would want to try them.

[hashtagparkerluck]

Cool, cool.

there's a lot to unpack there but uh-I guess I'm gonna save us some time and just throw out the whole fuckin' case.

[ SIGH. Zombies. Just what the train needed. the goddamn zombie apocalypse. also, good thing May's not here to ground him, shit. that is a BAD word to slip up and say over the intercom. Gg Peter Parker. ]

Did you check the storage car? there's a fridge in there-it could be there.

[zombiemessiah]

Yeah. That's probably a good idea. You'll sleep better. Or you'll just sleep, we don't get much choice in that.

[Hey, hey, Murphy hates Zombie apocalypses! They suck. He misses civilization. He just has the great misfortune of being a serum ordained zombie overlord and that actually sucks a lot.]

Yup. Just checked. Couldn't find it.

[hashtagparkerluck]

Joke's on you buddy, I don't sleep well anyway.

[ get it? cause he already has so much trauma?? He's so funny. ]

well, I don't think it could have gotten far-maybe the medical carriage? there are so many places it could that uh- [ that it wouldn't just start to rot in. ]

[zombiemessiah]

Really? I've been sleeping like a baby. This is the longest I've gone without hearing a gunshot in months! It's great.

[Deep, deep sigh.]

Well, I was hoping I could just find it by asking. But if it comes down to it, I can track it down by scent.

I just don't really want to do that.

[Because it's creepy, and while he understands he's now creepy by default, he does prefer coming off as civilized as possible.]

I'll go check the medical car.

[zombiemessiah]

That's a real shame. Most of my favorite activities are best done with at least two people. Maybe more if you're flexible enough.

[If someone asked if he meant physically or mentally he'd say 'yes'.]

Alright, I'll look around for it. It couldn't have gone far in this 'disaster tube' as you called it.

[knifewithnoname]

Do brain be tasting good to you?

[She honestly isn't sure what brain would even taste like but the idea of eating human brain was weird and a little disgusting.

Okay very disgusting. She's never heard of anyone who snacked on brains before.]

I did no never be hearing of brain cookies before.

[Or cookies with any kind of meat... Was brain like meat?]

[zombiemessiah]

Kind of? I think they taste better because of what I am. The longer I go without 'em, the more I want 'em.

[But as she's not being a little jerk about it and being a pretty good kid.]

I usually just eat the ones that belong to feral zombies. I've only eaten the fresh brains of a couple of people and they either specifically told me to do it after they died so I could remember something important that they remembered, or didn't deserve to have that brain anyway.

[That counts as reassurance, right?]

They taste pretty good! A nice Canadian smart zombie lady gave me the recipe. Made a little go a long way.

[irrationally]

.. are you just waiting for one of us to make a joke about it being rather telling that you sound exactly the same, regardless of whether your brain is located inside your head or not?

[ Because.. come on, Murphy. You put that ball right in front of the goal. It's so obvious. The joke is right there.

She shakes her head. ]

Seriously, though, you shouldn't just put stuff anywhere in this place. People put their sticky fingers on everything, even if it isn't theirs.

[zombiemessiah]

I know. I know. Come on, you said it yourself. I'm old. I forgot what college was like. You never leave anything in the fridge without marking it.

...Well I guess an office job was about the same. Always someone ready to steal your lunch.

[He's hangry, okay! And he's not even gonna pretend he doesn't need it because, honestly, he's gonna start smelling people and while he's pretty decent at holding back those urges he just kind of hates looking at people he hangs out with and just thinking, 'I bet you taste great' thoughts.]

[knifewithnoname]

Zombies? [She knows zombie. She has watched enough horror films with Peter now that she understands the concept of a zombie. Zombies did eat brains.

They also were usually slobbering monsters, not men who baked brain cookies and talked over an ICP. But eating a brain to remember something, that was a new idea. Weird, but no weirder than... almost anything else.]

You do be being a zombie too?

[zombiemessiah]

I do be a Blend. I'm somewhere between a human and a zombie. Zombies happened because people got sick. A very awful woman gave me medicine for that sickness and it hurt a lot. And then I died and that hurt more, but then I came back to life.

[Mostly.]

And now I don't get sick anymore from anything, and I can make other people better.

But now I'm stuck craving brains every once in a while. Not fun, right? It's a real drag.

[shegypt]

[ Bakura is not the sort of person who prefers to interact with the talking box, though when it turns on, she does listen to see whether it says anything useful.

It is not saying anything useful, now. But it is saying something that makes her laugh, so, okay. Talking box, you have earned the attentions of the King. ]

Heh heh heh heh heh.......

[ bakura maybe do something other than putting your ticket in and chuckling ominously

or don't i mean

this is how you live your life ]

[zombiemessiah]

[What in the ever-loving hell?]

...You know, I really hate having to mention the whole brain-thing in public because, you know... it's a little creepy. So I owe you a debt of gratitude for coming in here and way out-creepy-ing me.

[knifewithnoname]

[A half zombie? She's not come across those in any horror films. How did that even work? She listened as he told his story. It didn't sound like good medicine if he died. Sounded like poison to her, but then he had came back to life, like here, or like a zombie.]

You do be being a healing zombie? Half zombie. [Well that was weird. She wrinkled her nose.]

Who would even be stealing a brain from a fridge? Do there be being other zombies here?

[shegypt]

[ A little more chuckling, for ambiance, just for him. ] Any time.

[ Okay she's good now, well, she's still grinning, but she can talk. ] How'd you get it out of the skull?

[ the extraction methods used back home are.....inelegant. ]

[irrationally]

[ The college and office job jokes are super going over Alice's head right here, but at least she can kind of get the gist of it from the rest of what he says.

Still, more importantly-- ]

And so you think the person who took it truly is going to admit to it, just because you happened to ask nicely?