voidtreckernet | Bassoon, Day 29. Video.

[Tony tugs Joss into a hug whether he likes it or not (okay, he wouldn't do it if the kid really resisted).]

Don't say that. I was petrified too, so don't blame your age. It was an ability they had somehow. It wasn't- isn't- your fault.

[Joss doesn’t resist the hug, but he doesn’t reciprocate. He just goes limp.]

Why am I so weak? What has this place done to me?

Joss, you aren't weak. You aren't the one who's been laid up in the medical lab twice now. It's the emotional effect making you question yourself, but you aren't weak or pathetic. You're strong and capable but you've been hit with something.

[He was really getting worried about the vampire now. The poor small guy was just crumbling under the weight of whatever had happened to him.]

Joss, I have a friend on board who can help with these emotions. Please, let me see if I can't get her to come in and give you some relief.

No.

[He almost surprises himself with how forceful he is.]

No psychics. I can’t...I can’t have another person in my head again. Mother, she...

[He’s shaking now, and he doesn’t know why.]

For nearly three hundred years, my mind was not my own. No psychics.

[Tony moves his hand off Joss' shoulder as soon as the boy reacted so negatively.]

Listen to me, Joss! This is really damn important. I would never let someone take over your mind for any reason. I'm hearing you and you get the final say on this, but this isn't the same thing as what you probably experienced. It is only to make the emotions easier to handle. She's used it on me before and helped me out of an anxiety attack. I wouldn't suggest this if I didn't trust her.

[Tears are burning at his eyes.]

I can't. Mother hurt me.

Edited 2019-11-05 03:39 (UTC)

Oh Joss...

[Okay, now Tony felt horrible for even suggesting it. He knelt down and wrapped his arms tightly around the boy. And since they were clearly never sharing this moment with anyone else ever, he might have pressed a very small kiss to the top of his head.]

I'm sorry, Joss. You're safe now. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you again.

[And that opens the floodgates. All of the pain and confusion and anger and hurt come bursting out and the child who is not a child screams it into Tony's chest. It feels like it goes on for hours but it can't be more than twenty minutes or so until he quiets at last and pulls away. He looks at his knees, not wanting to meet Tony's eyes, and starts to talk:]

I was ten years old when the Plague came to Ely. It was August and very hot, but I was not permitted outside lest I be exposed to the miasma.

Of course, we now know that it was fleas and not bad air that transmitted the sickness, so being kept inside did nothing to keep me safe. I fell ill, and my father abandoned me. He hired a local woman to care for me and fled to one of his other manors. The coward survived the Mortality, of course. I didn't.

The local woman was called Mistress Weaver at the time, but her true name was Aurelia Vipsania. She had been turned when the Romans controlled Britain a thousand years before, and she saw in me an opportunity to claim a child that no one would miss. She turned me, and for the rest of her life until her murder during the reign of James the First, I was her doll. If I did not conform to her wishes, she would override my sense of will. She beat me, then made me forget the beatings. I loved her and hated her. When she was assassinated by a rival Ancient, I was bereft...and relieved.

And then I turned around and used the same powers on others. I'm...quite good at them. A prodigy, they called me.

[He looks up at Tony.]

I could put you under my thrall right now. Easily. That frightens me.

Edited 2019-11-05 04:05 (UTC)

[Tony listens. He'd gained enough clues over the last several weeks that they'd been close to know 'something' bad had happened in Joss' past. He just wasn't prepared for what the truth was when Joss reveals it. It's heart wrenching and made him sick to his stomach.

At the conclusion where Joss says he could enslave Tony's mind and says that scares him, Tony shook his head.]

I'm not frightened. You know why? Because you wouldn't do that to me. You've survived and grown strong from what you've been through. You know the danger of the weapon you hold and I believe you would only use it if you saw a great need for it.

[Joss laughs. It's a hollow, bitter sound.]

It's strange. Something happened to me when I entered Heaven a year ago. I suppose...well, it sounds silly, but I must have gotten some small part of my human soul back. I had no qualms about manipulating others to my own ends until then. A vampire should not have a conscience. It makes us very bad at what we do.

[After unburdening himself like this, he feels absolutely exhausted. The singing/screaming in his head hasn't stopped, but now he hasn't got the energy to fight it.]

Fine. Fetch your psychic, Stark. I will trust her if you vouch for her.

[He was taken back by that sudden relenting, but he wasn't going to question it. He knew Raven wasn't going to hurt Joss. If she did, she would be in a world of hurt for betraying his trust. No, she seemed too smart for that.]

I'll be right back, Joss. Just try to relax okay?

[As he left, he looked back. It still felt like something big and important had happened here to be told what he had been. He wondered if he'd given Joss enough back after such a powerful reveal. With a sigh, he kept going. He might have to think more on it and how best to help the small old vampire.

While he was gone, he went and found Raven. When he did, he stepped into the room and waved for her to follow him.]

Hey! I need your emotion power.

[He doesn't break stride until they reach Joss' door.]

You'll be discreet about this, right?

Wow, so polite. How are you Mr. Stark? I'm fine, thanks for asking.

[She was in one of the empty cars. Not a quiet car, so that this way she was still....reachable and public. There was a definite agitation in the air that preceded Tony's presence. Getting to her feet anyways, Raven moves to walk with him.

There is a slight eyebrow raise when he asks that.]

I value privacy, Mr. Stark. Along with ethics. Short of an emergency, I won't do stuff without permission.

[Tony gave her a look over his shoulder and a crooked smile at her snarky response. He'd been stressed out with Joss so he only now noticed how brisk he'd behaved toward her.

Equally so, when he asked her about her privacy, he nodded toward the door. In a much softer voice he explained.]

I wanted him to hear that. I know you.

[He knocked on the door, waiting for Joss to let them in.]

Enter.

[Joscelin, having fully unburdened himself earlier, doesn't say anything else. He just stares at them with an exhausted, defeated expression on his face, ready to endure whatever it is that the psychic is about to do.]

[Raven said nothing just looked at Tony for a moment, before following him in. There's another blink, as she remembers this boy.]

I don't know what he told you, but this is still your choice. I understand having reservations too, which is why I won't force anyone.

[Just in case, and making it clear she would respect boundaries.]

[Joss nods slowly.]

I understand.

[A pause.]

...Thank you. I do appreciate the question. Thank you for making certain. If Stark is going to vouch for you, then I will trust his judgment.

[Tony was staying quiet (for once), letting them work out whatever they needed to about the situation. He'd already made it clear what he thought. However, he spoke up when it seemed they needed a little extra push.]

I do vouch for her. You have my word she won't do you any harm.

[He goes and sits down next to Joss, putting a hand on his back gently. No matter what, Tony was going to be here for the moody vampire who had someone stolen a piece of his heart with those klepto- hands of his. His gaze shifts back to Raven.]

It's alright. Just help him relax.

I'll explain later, Mr. Stark.

[Raven was going to keep her touch very very light. Which wasn't too difficult for at least providing a calmer and peaceful atmosphere. Moving to take a seat where she could view both of them easily.]

So the first thing I want you to do is just focus on taking deep breaths. Focusing on inhaling for about 3 seconds, then exhaling for about 3 seconds. Keeping it steady and just focusing on that. Even without anything magical or mystical, this is a good way to calm down and you probably already know it. It's common in a lot of schools of thought relating to meditation.

[Leading by example, as she kept her own breathing steady and even. While passively projecting calm and peace. They were safe in here, and her influence would drive out or block any outside influences other than her own. So far nothing involving Joss at all other than his presence.]

[Part of Joscelin wants to protest that this is stupid and a waste of time, but he doesn’t. If this will banish the voices and give him a moment’s peace, he’ll be a good little boy and play along.

He begins to breathe, slowly and deeply.]

[Raven could feel the exhaustion, among other things. If Joscelin was normally good at hiding things, he was not doing so well right then. Which was likely a sign of how this had affected him in particular, besides everyone else.]

This is the easiest way to calm down, and most people can do it whether they're trained or not. I'm also actively projecting a feeling of peace and calm, doing what I can to shield this room from any lingering dread too.

[Explaining as she went, continuing to keep her touch very very light.]

It might take a bit longer, but I also respect your privacy and wish. I'm keeping my influence separate from anything that might come close to your mental barriers.

[Joscelin nods and says in a small voice:]

Thank you.

[Raven just nodded, doing this so he'd be comfortable. Content to sit there for as long as he needed.]

I can't really set it up so you get the same benefit without me here, without working with your own shields and mind. I also understand if you don't want that--I'm happy to sit here for a while though.

[One corner of her mouth might've lifted.]

Although if it's gonna be a few hours, I'll have to ask Mr. Stark to bring herbal tea. I hope this helps you get some rest though.

[Joscelin is feeling slightly more relaxed now, so he shakes his head.]

I'm okay. Let's get this over with.

Bassoon, Day 29. Video.

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