voidtreckernet | who am i: jelly 17 (cw: mentions of death/identity/spoilers)

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who am i: jelly 17 (cw: mentions of death/identity/spoilers)

[ Scene: Mami in the greenhouse, with a fluffy leaf-green hedgehog on her shoulder. ]

Hi everyone...

I wanted to let you know about something more serious. It's about who...or what I am. So this doesn't surprise you later. I guess some of you already knew I wasn't quite what I appeared to be, but I'm still processing it.

I used to watch shows about magical girls when I was younger. If you've never seen those shows before, they're about girls with magic who use some kind of gem to change into cute battle outfits, have animal friends to mentor them, other magical friends to fight alongside...and love and justice always won out. I used to dream about what it would be like to become one, though I was sure it wasn't real.

And then, when I least expected it, it happened. I was heavily wounded after a car crash, and a cute animal appeared to me. He promised me any wish I wanted as long as I agreed to become a magical girl and fight witches who trap and kill humans. So I wished to keep living...and became what I am now.

I thought I was just a regular magical girl like the ones on TV. But it turns out I'm a lich. Revenant. Undead. He ripped my soul out of my body and put it in a gem...I know that's usually dark magic. I've been reassured that I'm safe for you all to be around, Rosetta helps keep my soul gem safe. But it just feels strange, that I've been like this for a while...is all. Any advice on living with it would be appreciated.

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You have such good friends.

I guess it was a lot to get used to. How much did things change?

Mami carefully takes one, rolling the cookie between her fingers. She nibbles at it---it is good! That's not her fear. It's the strangeness of not being an ordinary human. She smiles a little, to let Soldat know they taste good.

"It happens a lot? I don't think you know a lot of magical girls. Who else does this?"

What variety of mistakes? Should I be worried about something?

All right. I just have one question. I know our worlds are different, so your answer might not mean anything to me, but...

My parents died in an accident right before this happened to me. Can Shades ever...go to where the rest of the dead go?

It doesn't get lonely? All the mortals dying around you?

"It wasn't your fault," Mami is quick to reassure. "I just...had suspicions. And I asked a friend from home to confirm them."

She takes a small breath, looking sad but sympathetic. "So someone did this to you without you knowing too?"

"... Sort of. I made a contract with her. I would have died otherwise... I don't remember making the contract. I don't regret it, though. I'm the city's protector now, for as long as I don't start harming the city as a whole."

He leans back, looking up at the ceiling. "Someone needed to step up. And it's a better life than the one I had. ... She showed up here today. She's... not human, but means well. Don't... take what happened to me out on her?" He's already had An Incident, he doesn't need another. "... I don't think the taking my soul and memories thing was... intentional. I think it's just what happens when a yurine makes a contract."

...I can't help you with any particular advice, but...

Do you want to be alone right now, or... would you like someone to come be with you?

[ It's hard to guess which is better for her - so Ple Two can only ask which she'd like. This is clearly distressing, whatever the terminology Mami wishes to use for it.

Even if Ple Two knows that she's still warm, soft, kind, gentle... ]

This... is a very young age to have to deal with all of that.

But as to your question, there are several aspects to it.

The first part is that you were misled about what was going to happen, so rather than choosing it, it was chosen for you. So the responsibility for the choice is not entirely yours.

The more important part is what you do with it. I have seen the proper and 'rightful' powers be used to cause harm, and I have seen the deviant and 'wrong' powers be used to protect and shelter and nurture, both by people using the powers or those, like you, affected by them.

It is not wrong to want to live. Even less so when it is not at the cost of causing harm to others.

Yeah... They're really great.

[Danny thinks a moment.]

With my friends? Not that much, really. Sam started telling me a lot that my differences made me unique, and that unique was good. But then that usually turned into complaints about her parents. Tucker mostly just made bad jokes about it and tried to get me to use my abilities to play pranks on the local bullies.

When my sister found out about it, we actually got a lot closer than we used to be.

[He grimaces a little.] I'm still keeping it a secret from my parents. And pretty much everything else. People in my world aren't really as willing to accept ghosts as the people in the train have been.

[Alfredo opens his mouth to respond - agree, mostly - but is cut off by the hug.

Hugs preside over all, really, so after a moment he just hugs back.]

We're needed here, known and cared about here,

[He murmurs, eventually.]

And that means... looking out for each other, too.

[For how is that not just?]

Given the statements over the intercom, that doesn't seem like the case, kiddo. "Nah, not magical girls. Just. Everyone at the last place I was at is like me. Dead, but only alive because of our lanterns holding our life force. Or soul, I guess you might say." They're still not entirely sure if they even have a proper soul, but when dealing with magical girls, probably best to use their words.

The cookies are snickerdoodles. Sugar cookies with cinnamon topping. Simple, but tasty.

Oh! I've definitely seen plenty of those. It's like a whole genre over in Japan..

[Debating briefly if statement was redundant. Clearly, this girl must know that already. If she was from Earth that was similar enough to her own]

.. Although you sometimes will get similar stories from some of the French and Italian animation sources. Anyway.. [Realizing she was getting ahead of herself. The blond had something important to say? This wasn't the right time to start fangirling over fiction]

[When the car accident was brought up, Silvia felt doubly bad for rambling on as she had. For the rest she remained silent and she could convey her sympathy at the end of the speech.

She was not prepared for where the transmission ended up]

I- uh.. well.. that's.... [Trying to stammer out an answer of some kind she continued] At.... least you had the best of intentions? I mean, who expects a cute sidekick character to have ulterior motives. He misrepresented everything.

Yes. You were supposed to be there in the first place.

Mami-chan, your origins don't have to define you. It doesn't matter where it came from if you're using your power for the right reasons. The majority of my power comes from a creature called a hollow, it feeds on souls that haven't passed on by its nature. I used to fight against that power, thinking that it would consume me. But once I accepted that it's part of me and took control over it, I had more strength to protect the people I care about. All that matters is that you're using what strength you have to protect what matters to you.

[Rich has to think for a long, long time before he finally offers up his own response, his voice as gentle as he can make it.]

I can't help so much about the... being undead thing, but. I know what it's like to be given a bum deal when you're desperate enough to stay alive. If you need to talk about how that thing manipulated you, or need to deal with that part of the trauma...

[He shrugs his shoulders.]

I... I don't know. I'm figuring it out too, but I'll try to help.

Whenever you're ready, Mami. Just let me know where and when to meet you.

...I think I can handle another talk.

What happened with you? We can talk in the greenhouse if you don't want to be public with it.

Our tireless doctor struggles with this too?

Well. I'll keep working alongside you, however I can. All I want is to keep everyone safe and strong.

I'm scared of what else I don't know...but my friend from the future knows more, and I still trust her to look out for me. I just have to stay calm and focused.

But that's not the easiest thing right now. I guess...reality can't be like TV.

I just have to make sure I don't hurt anyone.

I'm a little scared, still, but I don't really have anywhere else to go. So I'm in this mission to help, as always.

You can come here if you like. It's peaceful...I just need to make sure Rosetta doesn't get into more trouble. She really likes plants and I keep catching her trying to make them grow.

"I'm sorry you lost your memories too."

Mami is quiet, looking at him with a sympathetic expression. It could be worse. She could've lost those too. But the person who contracted him is here? And a friend?

"And...I won't. I try to remember that it's our choices here that define us on the train, not our pasts."

I can see why. People would probably be scared, or blame themselves...

[ She folds her hands in front of her. ]

You're our ally. That's the important thing, right?

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who am i: jelly 17 (cw: mentions of death/identity/spoilers)

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