Meng Yao (
ayao) wrote in
voidtreckernet2020-12-13 06:22 am
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
[Voice] Imagination 22
[He is tired and sad and more beside himself than he would like to admit.]
Xue Yang, answer me.
[That isn't how he wants to begin this broadcast, so he breathes in...and out.]
Has anyone seen Chifeng-Zun? I cannot find him and I know of no ill that has befallen him.
[Now, the part that really hurts.]
Huaisang, Zewu-Jun, I have failed you in not protecting him. I tried.
Xue Yang, answer me.
[That isn't how he wants to begin this broadcast, so he breathes in...and out.]
Has anyone seen Chifeng-Zun? I cannot find him and I know of no ill that has befallen him.
[Now, the part that really hurts.]
Huaisang, Zewu-Jun, I have failed you in not protecting him. I tried.
Re: [Voice]
[He sighs.]
And I'm not gonna argue with you there. It is unfair. But if it happened to you instead of them, then it'd probably be them here worrying about you. So it really just sucks for everyone involved.
[Voice]
He has no reason to worry about me. [Though the poor man would anyway. That was just Mingjue's nature.] Why must good men suffer? I don't understand. I would put an end to it if I could.
[voice]
[Maybe the feeling is only one sided? But... somehow, he doesn't think so. It could be just personal bias, but in his experience, things like friendship and caring tend to rub off on a person, even if they don't intend them to.]
People have been trying to figure that question out forever. Somehow, I don't think it'll be either of us that comes up with a definitive answer. I'm not even sure there is one. Sometimes... stuff just happens.
...Sorry. I know that probably doesn't help a whole lot. It's a lot easier to deal with a problem when you can confront it head on, but this situation isn't really something that you can do that with.
But I'm right there with you on wanting to put an end to it. When you get right down to it, I guess that's kinda the whole point of our being here on this train and the missions it takes us on; helping make sure that fewer people and creatures have to suffer unnecessarily.
[voice]
[Is that a good enough reason? Meng Yao is still confused as to why he goes that far off of a righteous path. Mingjue apparently betrays him and he strikes back with all of his strength and cunning. But what led to all of it?]
I have no delusions; others might be heroic, but I'm not. I can be selfish. I have kept myself alive through my wit and...survival techniques. To protect those I care for, I would do just about anything.
I am not the sort of man the train seeks.
Re: [voice]
And up until a year or two ago, I was pretty much the opposite of a hero myself. I spent about half my life doing icky jobs for my old boss, Xemnas, and was generally a pretty terrible person. Might still be that jerk, if not for a couple really great friends who gave me a reason to fight for something outside myself again, and for some other friends who were willing to give me a second chance that I honestly probably didn't deserve. And I'd still do just about anything to protect them, if it came down to it.
[It still might, depending on how things went back home.]
So don't write yourself off so easily, alright? I mean, on this motley crew we've got everything from hardened warriors to little girls. Bona fide heroes to anti-social jerks. Heck, we've got a miniature, floating whale and a talking cat running around somewhere. And somehow it all works.
So whether or not you think you're the right kind of person to be on this trip or not, if you want to contribute and help people? I'm pretty sure you can.
[voice]
I suppose it is easy to get lost in what we have done and forget to look at the larger picture. If I can help, I will. I don't like to see anyone suffer. It just became...something I expected...in my world. I considered suffering inevitable and so I focused on protecting myself and achieving my dream no matter the cost.
I was blind.
Re: [voice]
[Whether or not he deserves kindness, he clearly needs some at the moment, which is good enough for Lea.
And as he says, he's being honest. If there's one thing the Voidtreker's eclectic crew proves, it's that anyone can make a difference.]
Yeah... When you get too used to things being dark or empty, it gets to be... almost comfortable, I guess? Or at least familiar. You forget that things can be any other way. I know I did.
And when that happens, it's easy to get so wrapped up in trying to achieve your goals that you... kinda forget why you wanted to accomplish them in the first place. I mean, I didn't forget what I was trying to do, but I forgot... why it mattered to me. At some point it just became 'the Plan', and I worked on it because I didn't have anything else.
[Blind. Blind to the things that actually mattered, anyway.]
Looking back, I almost wonder how I could have thought like that, except... I know. And it's scary, how easy it was to fall into.
[voice]
I have seen my tragic future mistake. I can also see that I am in the process of making said mistake already. Small, seemingly inconsequential actions can build to a great and terrible outcome.
I don't want to be that man. I don't want to hurt Nie Mingjue or anyone else. I must be stronger and think of others before myself. I am not a victim unless I allow myself to be a victim.
Re: [voice]
No way to know, he supposed. But Meng Yao still has a chance.]
Yeah, that's one of the good things about the weird time displacement in places like this; the ability to have the benefit of hindsight for things you haven't done yet.
The fact that you've decided that that's not the kind of person you want to be is already a big step in the right direction, but if you need people to help keep you out of the dark, you can definitely count me in.
[If he can help spare another world from someone like Xehanort just by being friends with someone? He's definitely willing to give it a shot.]
[voice]
Thank you. I will do all I can to repay you - to make sure you don't regret it.
[Meng Yao is a genius with an impeccable memory. He can serve anyone well and keep them out of danger by listening to gossip and ferreting out the right conclusion. He also isn't bad with his sword - or any sword for that matter - though he isn't particularly physically strong.]
Re: [voice]
Eh, don't worry about it. Just keep working on being the kind of person you actually want to become, and that'll be enough. I'm just glad I can be part of someone else's second chance, you know?
[He didn't offer to help with the assumption that he'd be repaid, or at least, that he'd be repaid with anything but friendship.
He then pauses briefly as he realizes something.]
And I just realized.... I should probably actually introduce myself, shouldn't I? My name's Lea. No title or surname or anything, though if you want to add one on to make it less awkward, that's fine; I know it might not be considered polite where you're from to call somebody by just one name like that.
[He's not certain of all the naming conventions in Meng Yao's world, but he's spoken to enough people from there to pick up a few things.]