[Audio]

[faithfulsupport]

[The inspectors are gone and Ignis is breathing a sigh of relief. However, now that they're gone, he decides to check on his team.]


Members of the blue team, this is Ignis. Please report in and let me know you're alright.


[He takes a deep breath before continuing. It's an odd sort of feeling, but this is something that he'd discussed privately and there was no time like the present in order to get started on it.]


Tony, Raven, Reigen, Renee, and Evie please tell me all of you are fine as well.

Comments

[runs_on_batteries]

This was confusing. He'd thought with how Ignis had turned down his offer to sit by him meant he was on the verge of walking on them as a couple. Was he wrong?

"The least I could do after what I said is leave you out of having to deal with the rest of my shit, Ignis." Whatever he was seeing out the window, he was fairly sure at this point wasn't real- but that didn't mean he wasn't highly disturbed by it and worried about the ramifications. "And I have told you. I'm responsible for killing a country of people. Before that I'm from a family who sold millions of weapons that ended up in the hands of terrorists and war mongers. I have a loathsome personality so it's sort of the least I could do to make up for it. I'm strong- usually- so I have to be what people need me to be." He honestly wasn't sure who he was even supposed to be if he wasn't the one responsible for everyone else on this train.

However, to hear Ignis had already figured out that he was lashing out and it hadn't been intended helped. "I'm going to work on this. I'm going to find a way to keep this from happening again. I don't want to hurt you again. And that's my problem, not yours." His arms folded in front of his chest. It was the only way to prevent himself from reaching out to Ignis, where he knew it would be unwanted.

[faithfulsupport]

"I'm supposed to be your.." and Ignis wasn't sure how to fill that gap. What word did he use? By the Six he didn't even have a name for himself in relation to Tony. Friend didn't cut it, and boyfriend implied more than he was. So instead he tried a different angle. "I thought we were supposed to deal with things together." Was he wrong? He didn't think so but his shoulders slumped anyway.

And as Tony went on, he shook his head. "All of that doesn't tell me.." Ignis sighed and stopped. If that's all he was going to get, well he'd dealt with similar situations back home. He wanted to deal with the pain and fear and failure and all of that together. "And you've been hurt along the way." He knew he was being hypocritical here but he pushed the thought away. They could deal with his idiosyncrasies later.

Finally, Ignis reached a hand to touch Tony's sleeve though his head remained down. "It's our burden to bear."

[runs_on_batteries]

Tony couldn't figure out what was going on here. He was doing what he thought Ignis had wanted. He'd said no. Now he was wanting to be something different. What did this mean? "We are. Just as I'm supposed to not hurt you and talk to you with respect and I've just failed at that. So I'm not sure what you want right now. Do you want to be left alone? Do you want me to do something specific? I don't know!" And he was stressing about it on a level that wasn't normal. He felt like his emotions were spiraling all over the place. First he was mad and then he felt a depression of sorts and now he was feeling stressed and anxious and like the whole train was about to explode and it was his fault.

His frown deepened, even as a dusting of sweat was slowly forming on his brow. "Well.. obviously. I've told you I'm a complete mess! I don't know what you want though." He put a hand on his chest. He set the coffee down, feeling a wave of weakness.

He'd been trying hard to keep his distance but the moment Ignis touched him, he was engulfed in a fierce hug. Tony burying his face against his shoulder and he was starting to tremble. "What the hell is going on? Is this from the.. is their emotion manipulation weapons still working on us?"

[faithfulsupport]

He wasn't going to deny that Tony was right on the failing to respect part. "We need to talk this out and figure out what's going wrong." Ignis didn't want to keep fighting Tony, it wasn't the right course of action. He hurt for both of them, and the advisor hated seeing his lover in pain. They just had to get things settled and to watch the other going through something that perhaps had nothing to do with either of them cheered him a little.

Seeing the hand go onto the chest had Ignis shake his head instead of reaching out. "You need to slow down." He didn't need anything happening to Tony at all nor did the rest of the train. Yes, the other was a mess and that wouldn't get denied, but it also didn't need to be agreed with. Maybe some other hand was at play here, one they had yet to pinpoint.

Suddenly though, those strong arms were around him and Ignis felt warm. He allowed himself to relax though he could feel Tony shaking which of course bothered the advisor. Tightening his grip, he gently placed a hand to the back of his lover's head. "Whatever it is, I will stand with you and help you to bear your burdens."

[runs_on_batteries]

He was pretty sure the only thing going wrong was himself and nothing to do with the other man, but he wasn't going to say that. Ignis didn't seem to respond well when he blamed himself for things, even if it was accurate. Either way, those issues could be set aside for the moment while he continued to feel that extreme anxiety within him. It was very strange as he would've understood an anxiety attack, but this felt different. There didn't seem to be a specific trigger and it wasn't building up like it usually did. It was just *bad* and constant.

"What do I need to slow down? I'm not doing anything." Whatever Ignis thought he should do, he was willing to try. He couldn't help the small smile when Ignis reiterated that they were facing this together. "You're insane for wanting to be with me, Ignis, but I love you for it."

[faithfulsupport]

"If that hand on your chest is any indication, maybe should just rest today." A pause as his brain worked at another reply. "And you've yet to eat today." Ignis planned on feeding Tony, it just would be a matter of when because he wasn't about to let the other get away without eating.

Sighing as he continued to hold onto his lover, the advisor finally smiled as he was termed insane. "Don't forget that I've seen what a good man lies beneath all that pain and brashness." His grip tightened only a little more. "So don't be afraid to let me share the load."

As he stood there and held on, Ignis wondered if he should have Tony lay down but this moment between them was needed and he selfishly didn't want to move and disrupt it. There'd been hurtful words and actions so he would treasure these few moments.

[runs_on_batteries]

Tony was quiet for a few moments. "I've gone much longer than a day without food." However he couldn't help but be grateful for the emotional support and the forgiveness in Ignis still thinking of him as a good man. "You've been through a lot yourself, my dear. Don't take on so much of my burden that you forget about yourself."

Despite those words, he didn't move away for another couple moments. He pressed a kiss to Ignis' forehead first and whispered another soft apology. The emotions were still there and still turbulent but they felt easier to recognize as outside of him. "If you're willing.. we can go to the kitchen and continue to catch up from this nightmare we had to deal with?"

[faithfulsupport]

Hearing that Tony had gone a lot longer than a day without eating steeled Ignis' determination that the man wouldn't go through that trial here. "Not on my watch." He couldn't promise the same in regards to forgetting about himself because that was easy to do. So there was no comment back to that.

The kiss had him let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and he smiled at the apology. Maybe this was all some sort of misunderstanding due to whatever was still going on with the train and another smile appeared as Tony mentioned food.

Reluctantly and slowly he let go of the other man, giving a smile to hide his thoughts. "Bring your coffee with you."

[runs_on_batteries]

Tony noted the lack of a response about Ignis being good to himself but that only made him breathe a soft laugh. They were so alike in some ways. Others they couldn't be further opposites. As he picked up his coffee mugs, he thought about how they were a good balance in a lot of areas. "Yes dear," he replied teasingly and followed after the other man to the kitchen.