[Video] Imagination 10

[ayao]

Nie Mingjue, Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang, would you mind meeting me in the Library? I have something important to discuss with you.

[He looks down unhappily, unable to even meet the eyes of those who might see this transmission. As long as it reaches those he intends, that is all that matters.]

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[ayao]

[The gentle chiding strikes deep and Meng Yao focuses on their hands.]

Why did you give me a chance to know you at the beginning, Zewu-Jun? I have always been unworthy of you.

[lanxichen]

[ Xichen shakes his head at the words immediately. ]

We are all the same, in a way. Everyone has told you that you are unworthy, because of your birth, because you have been given less chance of education, but I do not believe those things make you less than me. So long as you would act in good faith and try your best...

To me, you would be no less than me.

[ayao]

Zewu-Jun has a big heart. [What else can he say? That heart has enchanted him since they first met.] I don't know many men like you. I'm sorry...for everything. I will spend my time on this train trying...to be the man you thought I was.

[lanxichen]

... young master Meng. [ There is a slight waver in Xichen's voice.

Back then, at the end. Jin Guangyao did not apologize. Did not feel remorse. About any of it, towards anyone. ]

It... trying that will be enough, for me, so long as you are trying and not pretending. That will make all the difference.

And if you ever think you have no choice, no matter what it is about - please talk to one of us. No matter how small the issue.

[ayao]

[He touches the book.] Now that I realize I may not be thinking...clearly...I will go to you or Chifeng-Zun. Once I develop good habits, I think we will all sleep much better.

[Meng Yao gazes at the other man sadly, longing clear in his eyes.]

I wouldn't pretend with you or him. This is me.

[lanxichen]

[ Xichen nods. ] I think - this might be one of the signs that you may not be thinking clearly. But yes, you need not face all of it alone.

I will - try to read more about these illnesses of the mind. And how they can be alleviated. But if you do not turn your back on the truth, and on us, we will not turn our back on you, either.

[ It will not be unconditional, not even with Xichen. But he will not turn away.

After a moment. ]

Huaisang... is very angry. I know he might be hurtful, but in some ways, his sight can be very clear. If he gives out a warning that a course of action is wrong, pay attention, too?

[ayao]

I'm afraid I do not follow? [Xichen had told him to ask and so he will. He is. Meng Yao craves to know what separates him from this man; what went so wrong that he decides, in the future, to give up everything?]

I am facing the truth, Zewu-Jun. I want to turn and run, but I'm not.

[He shifts and bunches the fabric over his thighs in his fists.]

I want him to guide me. Of course I will listen. I wish I could quell his anger.

[lanxichen]

[ Xichen shakes his head slightly. ] I apologize. I have had ... a long time to think on all the things you said and did, in the end. That you had no choice - you kept repeating that to justify what you did. So I will assume that it... will mean to you something, eventually.

[ He wasn't doubting that Meng Yao will ask - only explaining why the request.

And about Huaisang, Xichen sighs. ]

Try to... put yourself in his place. He trusted you and loved you, and he knew that his brother loved you, too. But then you turned around and destroyed his brother, who was the world to him. You even used him to make it worse.

You here and now have done it. But to him, the betrayal is still raw and painful. A bleeding wound cannot be staunched by telling it to stop bleeding.