[Video] Imagination 10

[ayao]

Nie Mingjue, Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang, would you mind meeting me in the Library? I have something important to discuss with you.

[He looks down unhappily, unable to even meet the eyes of those who might see this transmission. As long as it reaches those he intends, that is all that matters.]

Comments

[ayao]

He is quick to take said seat, unable to meet her gaze.

"I...learned...something. It isn't pleasant, however I must accept it."

Sane people do not murder those they (claim to) love and keep their heads on shelves. Apparently.

"What do you know of mental illnesses?"

[marriedanidiot]

She reaches over and takes his hand.

"Some things are unpleasant, but like all medicine, one has to face them to move forwards."

She tips her head consideringly.

"I do not think I know of that phrase in the context I suspect you mean it - will you explain?"

[ayao]

She's right. He has to face his father's legacy and the curse of the blood flowing through his veins. He has to prove himself stronger than all of it.

"The mind...can be sick. In some cases, the sickness is inherited. I fear, after hearing of my future, that I inherited just such an illness from my father." he speaks softly, his brow furrowing, "I read about the signs and symptoms. Already I am displaying some of them."

[marriedanidiot]

"Ah." She nods. "So exactly what it sounds like. Yes, we've known some cases of things like that."

In the warriors who have waking dreams, in the thralls who survive Angband, in Celebrian, fair and pale and mourning her family.

In Miriel, the very first, who could not live after bearing Feanaro.

"Is there any help for it?"

[ayao]

"I had hoped your world was free of it." Meng Yao doesn't like imagining her surrounded by sorrow. He itches to fix it.

Yet he isn't powerful enough to fix his own problems.

"I am...being truthful to those I hurt in the future. I want them to know why. I want to know why." he gives her hand a gentle squeeze, "I am not that man yet and I would like to stave off any madness as long as I am able."

[marriedanidiot]

"I doubt any world truly is!"

She squeezes back.

"I am sure you will do very well. To acknowledge one's faults is always a difficult thing."

[ayao]

"If I don't, I might hurt them again." and that is...awful. Unforgivable.

"My greatest fear is to be completely alone. I could cause that very outcome if I let my pain and anger rule me."

[marriedanidiot]

"Ah little one." She murmurs softly, and draws him into a hug.

"I am sure, with such conviction, you will not need to fear that outcome."

[ayao]

He leans against her and rests his head on her shoulder. She is so comforting. Her children are exceptionally lucky - and if he runs into them, he will tell them as much.

"I hope not. They care enough to give me a second chance; I cannot ruin it."

[marriedanidiot]

She immediately starts running a soothing hand through his hair.

"That is good - second chances should not be wasted. I am glad you are able to grow."

[ayao]

The action makes his throat ache and his eyes burn. He is careful to keep his face tucked away from her gaze.

"Are second chances worthwhile for those who give them?"

[marriedanidiot]

She doesn't allow him to hide, turning his chin with gentle but inexorable hands.

"Only they can answer that." She says gently.

"But for my part, my faith has been rewarded." Feanaro had returned to her closer to the ner she had wed than she had seen him for millenia, after all.

"It is not your part to decide worth - all you can do is try."

[ayao]

He doesn't fight her - that would be rude - but his lips twitch, revealing his discomfort. His shame. His guilt.

"I don't know how to make it easier for them." or himself. It is comforting, however, to hear that faith can be rewarded.

"I am accustomed to looking ahead. That is what I do for the Nie; I try to see problems before they become obstacles."

[marriedanidiot]

"You can't." She says gently.

"All you can do is your best - that is all that is ever asked of us. Looking too far ahead brings only despair, for all roads are dark, eventually - too many chances."

[ayao]

"I fear your wisdom came at a high price." he is grateful for her words - for her presence - and he tries to give back the comfort by tucking himself against her.

[marriedanidiot]

She immediately cuddles him close.

"All wisdom is." She murmurs. "Lessons are sadly best learnt in grief - whether yours or anothers."

[ayao]

"I wish you far less grief in the future." he closes his eyes and smiles a little bit, "My mother would apply her paint early in the morning and I would wake to spend time with her. She used what money she made to buy me books on Cultivation. She wanted me to be the best."

[marriedanidiot]

Nerdanel runs a gentle hand through his hair.

"She sounds very brave. I am glad you knew such love."