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[dredefulchilde]

I have a question, for those who actually remember their childhoods.

[Joss opens his mouth, revealing an empty gap where one of his upper canines used to be. He holds the tooth—which used to be a fang, before his resurrection—up to the camera.]

This came out about five minutes ago. How long does it usually take for adult teeth to grow back in?

Comments

[hashtagparkerluck]

Whoa, really? That's awesome. Maybe you'll get a dollar! It'd at least make you a whole dollar richer than me.

[ Get it? Because he's poor and doesn't have any money?? ]

Uh... but It's usually like two or three weeks.

[dredefulchilde]

Why would I get a dollar? And what need have I for American currency on a magical space train?

[hashtagparkerluck]

Because you lost a tooth? You know, you put a tooth under your pillow at night and the tooth fairy gives you a dollar for it?

[ ...no? ]

I dunno man, rub it in people's face's that you got a dollar? Don't do that-that's a jerk move.

[dredefulchilde]

What’s a tooth fairy?

[Congratulations, Peter, you’ve just confused the boy.

In response to his other comment, though, Joss digs around until he finds his stolen money bag, which clinks gently as he holds it up to the camera.]

I’ve already got more than a dollar. I seems that when one orders a person to evacuate the city, they tend to bring their valuables with them.

[hashtagparkerluck]

It's uh... a thing parents tell-[ Hold on, he's distracted and already is borederline ADHD. ]

H-how did you-why do you have all that?

[dredefulchilde]

[He just shrugs.]

A sharp dagger and sticky fingers. I only picked the pockets of those who could afford to lose a little, you see. I’m not that monstrous.

What is it you were saying about parents?

[hashtagparkerluck]

Um.. I mean, I come from a really poor family so I can kinda understand the urge but- DUDE You can't just go around stealing things!

You know it's like my job to stop criminals, right?

[dredefulchilde]

Does this make me a criminal? How will you stop me, then?

[That evil grin is a lot less threatening now that he’s a human child with a missing cuspid.]

[hashtagparkerluck]

I'm still Spider-Man.

[ He makes a WELP face while at the same time holding his hand up like he's about to fire his webs. ]

[dredefulchilde]

So you’ll web me up and force me to give it back to the planet we left in terror a few days ago?

At any rate, tell me more about this tooth fairy.

[hashtagparkerluck]

Well, No. Because I'm out of Web Fluid right now and I-God Damn it!

[ SIIIIIGH ]

how long am I grounded for?

[dredefulchilde]

Shouldn’t you be asking Stark that, Spider-Man?

[hashtagparkerluck]

I am. I know he's listening.

[dredefulchilde]

This is why I stopped pretending to be anything but what I actually am...er, was, very early on.

[runs_on_batteries]

First of all, everyone can hear you so it's not like I have a choice in the matter.

Second, stop swearing kid.

Third, you're out of web fluid again??

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ You see, this is why he didn't want to tell you. ]

....

............

..........................I was..... kidding?

[dredefulchilde]

[Joss just laughs.]

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ Wow, thanks Joss. ]

[runs_on_batteries]

Both of you, I want a book report on 'The Silence of Truth' or 'Rust' before dinner tomorrow. They're in the library. Go.

[dredefulchilde]

What did I do?

[hashtagparkerluck]

And why are you using homework as a punishment, that's totally not cool.

[runs_on_batteries]

You annoyed me. You two are acting like idiots. Because I can.

Take your pick.

Joss, if you'd rather, you can interview people and do a report on the tooth fairy instead.

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ SQUINT ]

I'm not sure any one of those is really a good reason...

[dredefulchilde]

I still don’t even know what the “tooth fairy” is.

[runs_on_batteries]

[To Peter]

You want both book reports?

[To Joss]

That's why you have to go find the information.