{Video}

[lansizhui]

Have you ever thought about getting married? {The topic has been on his mind since a certain wedding.} I know you should be in love when you do it, but is it strange to think about it even if you're not?

I'm a Cultivator, so I realize that it isn't likely that I will ever be married - unless I settle down. But it does seem nice and everyone has someone, don't you think?

{Or has he been lost in his daydreams for too long?}

Comments

[so_dark_a_road]

Not everyone has someone, sad to say.

I was married, long ago when I was young and heedless. I was entranced by Sulriel, but the real reason I married her was because my people were at war with a powerful enemy whom we had little chance of defeating. My father had already fallen in one of the great battles, and I was beginning to fear that soon our family would need replacements. It didn't seem likely that any of my brothers were going to produce families of their own, so I arranged to be wed. I am not sorry, for we had a son whom anyone would be proud of, and he was the light of my life. But the marriage did not last.

Later in another world, I fell in love with a man named Yukari and might have married him, had it not been for circumstances that would take too long to explain.

I don't think it is strange to want the closeness and the stability, even if you're not in love. The chances of life can lead you into a marriage for many reasons.

[ That's Curufin's two cents' worth! It's a rare moment when he will talk about this in public, and he doesn't in fact reveal the whole story. ]

[lansizhui]

You say you were entranced with her, but did you love her? It sounds more like a marriage of convenience to me. {He can be blunt and he is skilled at listening to what people say - and, sometimes, don't say.}

Children shouldn't be replacements for soldiers. They should be able to choose whether they fight for a cause or not.

{Sizhui sighs sadly. He is sensitive to sons being separated from their fathers (or parents in general).}

I feel like there should only be one reason for marriage. Love.

[so_dark_a_road]

[ If Sizhui has sensed any of what Curufin didn't say, then perhaps he was aware that there is a great and abiding love in Curufin's heart for those who are gone. ]

I loved her, but I was not in love with her. Though I wouldn't call it a marriage of convenience. That phrase implies a relationship that is entirely based on pragmatism, and not at all on emotion. That would not be the truth of our marriage.

I wasn't saying that we produced a child simply in order to make him a soldier. We brought him into the world in order to have a family. On my part, of course, I wanted to have Fëanorian descendants. If Cel had not wanted to take up arms, then I would not have forced him to. In fact, he was enough like me to want to fight for his people.

[ Curufin hears the sigh and senses that there is an old sorrow here, though he does not know Sizhui's story. He only knows there is a loving relationship between this man's fathers and their son. ]

You may well be right. But what is done is done. And I cannot say I am sorry that Cel is my son.

But are you thinking of marrying, Sizhui?

[lansizhui]

M-Me? {He listens in silence to Curufin, trying to understand concepts that are probably beyond his reach. To love someone and not be in love is a complicated subject. For him, thus far, there has been no difference. But romance and desire have yet to play a part in any of his relationships. He presumes that is the difference; that is what makes simple love something...stronger. And maybe more chaotic too.}

I am not sworn to anyone and, even if I was, my fathers would have to approve. I have spent most of my life on my studies and -

Well, I was closer to the rabbits of Gusu Lan than I was the people. {Meaning he is a bit shy.} I have friends, but I don't think they would look at me like that.

[so_dark_a_road]

[ Sizhui would be right about the chaos that results from simple love turning romantic! ]

I see. You have not yet experienced the wonderful disturbance of romantic love. But maybe someday, you will. If you have faithful friends, it may well be that one day one of them will look at you like that.

In which case, I hope your fathers approve! And I hope the rabbits do, as well. [ How cute, being close to rabbits! ]

[lansizhui]

{He turns bright red at the possibility. One of his...friends?}

Wouldn't I have felt something? It's confusing.

{More like an attack than a realization! Is love a predator?}

If my fathers don't approve, the relationship won't last. {He knows how protective they are of him.} The rabbits just want carrots.

[so_dark_a_road]

[ Why not? XD ]

Love doesn't always come upon a person suddenly, sometimes it takes years to develop. So, no, you wouldn't necessarily have felt anything.

[ Curufin has asked himself that question. What is love? Is it something wholly benign, or is it something that jumps a person when he least expects it and proceeds to devour his heart like a lion? But on the whole, he thinks love is a blessing, and he thinks this young man deserves it as much as his fathers do. ]

I'm guessing your fathers will be generous, though. And as for the rabbits? I'm sure they want carrots, but are you sure they don't have protective family feelings toward you? [ Kindly grin. ]

[lansizhui]

{But then it will be like two bunnies giving each other kisses! And that's too cute.}

I'll try not to be scared. Or...nervous? It's a good thing even if the other person doesn't feel the same, right?

{Now he is a jumpy bunny. What if he does it wrong? What if they hate him?}

They would crawl on top of me when I was upset. Father would bring me to them and they came from everywhere; it was cute.

[so_dark_a_road]

[ Aw, bunny kisses! How could that be too cute? ]

Love is always a good thing. That's what I think, anyway. Love tunes the heart like a stringed instrument, so that it can make its best music. And I once saw a quote from a wise person, who said that love that is unreturned flows backwards and purifies the heart.

[ Who could hate Sizhui??? He's obviously a loving sort of person, and if he makes any mistakes, so what? ]

It sounds like the rabbits really did like you and want to comfort you. Your father introduced you to them?