orchestra 29 - the plot recap episode [video] (cw: existential crises)

[monkeyinthewrench]

Hey, so, uh...you guys want to recap that massive plot twist that got dumped on us?



I didn't really feel qualified to talk and I already had my turn in the interrogation room, so I hung back to listen. And from what I gather...this whole tether and void travel thing is basically creating spirit clones to go off into the void while our bodies stay home?

Please tell me I misheard something, because that's kinda creepy.

Comments

[weifinder]

You don't have to. You can break down, cry, shout, do whatever it is you feel, and lean on the rest of us here. I know there are things in your world that you... have the reasons of your belief to understand rely solely on you, or what you sacrifice. When it's too hard to believe, allow yourself to not. Let yourself doubt. And lean on us here, while we continue forward. The road's long, and our answers are fewer than our questions.

( he holds up his hands, palms open, watching her through the ICP. )

It's hard. It's horrible. It's our reality, and we will get through this. The worst may have happened, or it may not have. We won't know. We can only move forward. It's the only chance we really have to set any of our duties to rights.

[happyends]

[ We can only move forward, he says, and Madoka knows it's just the truth. It's not like she can do more for her world than she already has. Letting the Ministry know about her personal problem with her world and what it means for her to have been pulled away from it at such a crucial time.. what else can she do, when she's stuck on this train?

When all of them have been stuck, without being able to do a thing about it?

Maybe the problem is just that Madoka is too responsible. After all-- ]

It.. feels bad though. It feels like I'm the worst for not doing more to help my world.. [ Even when there is nothing she realistically can do. ]

[weifinder]

Even when you're the axis on which events of your world turn, Miss Madoka, you can't do everything alone. You can feel the guilt, but it's not your fault. You aren't responsible for being here.

( and even if she wanted to run, which she's never indicated, and he won't state: she still wouldn't be at fault. not to him, when worlds rely on many moving parts to succeed or fail, and no child should be forced to bear that burden alone. how many here do? )

It's okay to feel how you feel, ah? But it's not true. You've done what you can. You'll continue trying. You've done enough.

( for a child who is set to die... for reasons??? )

[happyends]

I hope the people from my world would say the same..

[ But then again, it's not like she can know. Sure, there's not even one, but two Kyokos here - but she feels like they don't really count within those limitations, considering that they had already died before the last events she witnessed before being pulled to this train. Their lives weren't technically at stake anymore.

.. but what about all the people she did let die? ]

Even if it's not my fault, like you're saying, sir.. They'd probably be upset all the same, right? Regardless of whose fault it is, the end result is the same..

[ Pain. Destruction. It's hard to put concepts that big out of her mind. ]

[weifinder]

Mmm, and people are going to be upset, and I won't say that's good, but it isn't in your ability to change right now. That should be possible going forward, but at this point, wishing to collect water spilled from a pitcher won't make the pitcher whole.

( It's not that a person forgets. It's that a person moves forward, even with the fears and memories and guilt. )

You didn't cause this situation. That fault is not yours to claim, whatever guilt you feel for not being there to provide yourself as the solution to your world's ills. I'm sorry, Miss Madoka. Guilt like that weighs a body and a heart down.

[happyends]

[ It's hard, trying to accept that it might not be her fault. Even though she knows that technically the train played a more active part in it than her, she still can't help but feel guilty for letting it happen. For not having been able to fix it yet.

There's just too many things to feel guilty about, and Madoka is not a girl who's good at letting go of it. ]

.. how do you live with that then..? If it won't go away. [ That heavy guilt. The guilt that doesn't seem to leave her alone, not even for a moment. ] I've-- I've tried really hard, sir. But I think it's getting too hard for me..

[weifinder]

( it breaks his heart in a somewhat familiar way, and he reaches his hand out to the screen, such as it is. a gesture, reaching for someone. )

You do this. You let the people around you know, so we can help support you. You talk, as much or little as you feel able, and let us help carry that burden. You're not alone.

( the people here will shift, will change, but that is a truth regardless. )

I know you've some company likely to find you now, so this is for any time that I say this. My door is always open for you, Miss Madoka. My door, and my ears. Nothing but good listening, and even those embraces you're so gifted with.

[happyends]

.. okay.

[ Her voice is so soft that it's only barely audible, but she nods.

Granted, Madoka actually taking him up on that offer is an entirely different story, given how 'doing this', exactly the reaching out, can be so hard for her. Only harder as time passes, and the people she chooses to open up to disappear into the void.

But she will at least try to remember. And there's nothing not genuine about her as she softly continues with: ]

Thank you for the offer.. It's really kind of you. [ Regardless of whether or not she has trouble with actually taking him up on it, it is just objectively kind, and Madoka appreciates it regardless of her current mood. ]

[weifinder]

( with his own history of not taking up the same, he couldn't say, if he knew (and as much as he guesses), that it would surprise him.

yet the statement, the awareness, he feels that's important. because it's something he would have wanted, once upon a time. )

You're kind yourself, Miss Madoka. It's easy to be kind to one who offers kindness, ah? But even if you didn't offer too much of yourself, you'd still be worth supporting.

Take care of yourself as well as others, Miss Madoka.