voidtreckernet | Merriment 18

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Merriment 18 | Video

Hey. I'm Shadow and new on blue team. So, from my experience, its better that I do stuff regularly. Keep engaged and all that.

So I'm gonna offer a few services.

One, food. It sounds like yer not strapped for getting enough, but there are limitations. I have an ability to make food, so I figure I'll hit up the kitchen everyday and add to the stores a bit. I can't do a ton, but like feed a few extra people's worth a day should be fine. As long as I'm not wiped out for some reason. Probably won't happen after missions. I'll do this shortly before the rainbow colors disappear.

I can also take special meal requests, or help with special diets that are hard to get what ya need. If those apply, find me in the kitchen, or the training gym before hand. I'll be there regularly. If there's no requests, I'll just add what looks good. Probably rarer items or perishables when its close to stock up time. I reserves the right to reject special requests if yer rude.

Two, I was on Diagad before arriving. And its with great debate I offer this, so I don't want to hear a lecture. I know dark magic. Which is not inherently evil, just a tool, just one that makes it real easy to do evil things. And I do know a spell for mind control. No, I'm not explaining the 'tragic backstory'. [Complete with air quotes] For why I know it. But if ya want to learn how to resist mind control, I can help test ya. Ya can bring a person to monitor me, or another mind reader, or check with my brother whose been here weeks for my character. I'm offering a service, I'm not forcing ya to take it, its up to ya to do what makes ya feel safe doing it.

Three, I guess I can also help people with dark magic. No, I'm not teaching the mind control thing.

Four, I know shadow magic. Yes, that's different from dark magic. This take special kind of affinity to go, so not everyone can learn this, but if ya want to try learning, I can see what I can do.

I'm also gonna hit up the fight club training listing, but I figure I'd throw out the weirder stuff now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Training gym one, because hey, there might be target practice.]

[Shadow can be found near the front end of the car, the one farthest from the sleeper cars. He, himself, is training with a sword because he figures he'll keep himself busy until the other arrived.]

[It won't be terribly hard to confirm its him. The blue hoody is discarded to the decide, and he's in a black tunic and hat. The thing that stands out is the clothes aren't Still. They move and twitch in ways that don't make sense with his movement, too wild, like a dancing shadow.]

[....That's a very peculiar effect his clothes have. It's not something the train given hoodie is doing, and he checks, taking a few moments to simply observe and see if anything ELSE is moving to unfelt breezes.

Everything but Shadow seems perfectly normal. If it wasn't for the clothing, he'd seem pretty normal too on the surface, and given conversations Xehanort highly doubted that was true. And so, as he steps into the car and closes the door behind him, he's listening. Darkness had a sound to him, the way to others it had a scent, and it was inevitably unmistakable as anything else. The sound varied from person to person.. but surely if Shadow is as embroiled in darkness as he says, then it should be easy to pick up on, the endless chorus of someone else's negativity...]

Sorry I'm late. [he isn't.] I wasn't sure which training car you had in mind.

Edited 2021-08-11 23:44 (UTC)

[That there is a Heartless.]

[Or at least its comparable. ~~Vanitas would be too.~~ Because he isn't embroiled in darkness and shadow, he is darkness and shadow given form. Negativity is what makes him up at his base, but there is a reason he differentiates between 'shadow' and 'dark.']

[The primary darkness is what is made up when cast by a great light. The parts of a heart that is often drowned out by love, kindness, sacrifice, courage. Left to wither and fester unacknowledged for greater goods. For a time longer then one lifetime, countless centuries until it was Something Else.]

[And then there is darkness that is nothing else, but that. Formed of malice and hate, the desire to destroy. For the demise of all that does not bend to its will. A taint, a scar from something else that he's made a part of himself and controlled.]

[But the light that casts its shadow is still connected, flickers in between the darkness that makes him up.]

[He looks over, pausing a moment. Then shrugged.] The other is self improvement, this is more combat orientated. [Seemed obvious to him.] Ya don't need to do fake niceties.

Edited 2021-08-12 02:53 (UTC)

[Xehanort has yet to ever encounter a heartless, or Vanitas - the woes of when the train snatched him from and an ongoing harsh bout of amnesia.

Which meant sometime in the future, when he finally does.. they'll be compared to Shadow, and not the other way around. He is now the baseline for strange shadow creatures. There is still no dividing line that he can detect, between darkness and shadow; they're parts of the same, aren't they? But the uniqueness (or at least assumed uniqueness) of his nature does make Xehanort wonder. Tests were forbidden on fellow train passengers, but he could still wonder..]

It's good to stay in practice. I'd prefer it false and automatic than something I have to think about.

[Well, at least he's honest.]

My name is Xehanort. Are there things you would prefer not contending with, by way of subjects or actions?

[Forewarned is forearmed, and misunderstandings are easier to get out of the way if addressed first.]

[There is definitely nothing quite like Shadow in Hyrule. The closest were divine tests and monsters, but nothing that has managed to maintain a mind like he does, at least in his owner's lifetime. Perhaps the Twili were close, but he wasn't of the Twilight Realm.]

Fair enough. At least yer honest. [Listen, that gets points.]

Don't insult shadows. Most people don't get them, and I ain't interested in debating their base worth. Its tiresome. [He also gets a bit murdery and that is just better to avoid.] Asking questions is fine as long as ya keep that in mind.

And I find out ya use anything I taught ya for evil, I will kill ya myself. No matter how many times it takes and I am very good at killing. [He uncurls his hand from the sword and it vanishes in a burst of shadows.] I don't require people to be 'heroic' or 'good.' The world is full of too many grays to expect everyone with power is gonna be using them for the greater good. I don't expect perfection, sometimes mistakes happen.

But there is a certain level of....respect for the lives of others, especially those who are innocent, who are good people. Ya torture some psychopath, I don't care. Ya don't go out of yer way to save someone, okay, whatever, I ain't yer dad. Ya accidentally hurt someone, that's fine. Ya decide to traumatize some kid for selfish gain, we got a problem. Intentions are key.

Edited 2021-08-18 05:49 (UTC)

I don't understand what you mean by 'don't insult shadows' in this specific context.

[When there's questions - ask. There's no better way to find out. When something needs clarifying, find clarification. He would have assumed that Shadow meant shadow magic, but why would that deserve insulting? Did he mean actual literal shadows?

Something else?

The rest of it is expected to the point of redundancy. The threat of killing, how good someone else is at seeing it through, don't hurt innocents, blah blah blah; this latter part is quite literally dismissed with a wave of the hand.]

In spite of all information to the contrary I have no interest in or use for unwilling subjects, nor do I enjoy seeing others suffer. If your experience isn't in killing those who don't necessarily require a body, I'd brush up on that, apparently it's a thing I can do. Or .. will .. be able to, I'm not quite certain.

[He's a little unsure about that part but if at least two people said it, it had to be at least worth considering!]

'Evil' is too vague a definition for usefulness, but not harming people who don't deserve it is a matter of course. If one stripped morality away entirely and looked at it from a pure common sense perspective, going against this train's mission and the qualms of the vast bulk of people onboard is a great way to not actually get anywhere.

Lesser magic, should only stay hidden, lots of things. If ya think a person would be angry to hear it, better to not say it probably best way to put it.

[Who can say.]

Like I said, I'm very good at killing. But its only a problem if ya use what I taught ya. [He doesn't seem at all bothered by the idea of his potential target not requiring a body. And really, the threat does come with the specific condition. Anything he taught. It was a very important distinction.]

[He doesn't like to be used.]

It is. Its also why I try not to get too caught up in the heroic and good stuff, it happens a lot that definition is hard until ya hit the extremes. Ya can pick out a pure hero easily. But when there's gray, it gets harder to define it.

Ya would think, but ya'd be surprised what people think they can do just because they got a little bit of power and too strong a motivation. People get blinded. Lose sight how they gotta actually live in the world. That's always been the problem with people who decide to go the villain route. They forget even if they succeed, success only lasts as long as ya don't lose, and fight long enough, yer gonna lose.

Mm, without context, it's difficult to know what someone might choose to get offended at. One might as well never speak at all, except that might make someone angry for the lack of response. Still, I have ... no reason to think 'shadows' should be insulted.

[Magic is magic. Some might be more useful in some contexts than others, but even small spells can be vital depending on the situation!

It is perhaps inevitable that Xehanort's going to use anything he gets his hands on badly, his future is fairly set in stone whether he likes it or not. But for a while, at least, it's perfectly safe! Or as safe as anything gets while playing with metaphorical fire.]

That should not be a problem, at least. I have no great use for power for power's sake. [For now.] Though I've seen what it can do to others. Which reminds me, getting to the thrust of me being here at all - the darkness I know is called corruptive, and the more it's used the more it will twist the user, though I have never experienced such a side effect. Is the darkness you're familiar with supposed to be similar?

I'm afraid that's gonna be a thing ya need to figure out. I can only explain so much on how people will react to things before it gets counter productively handholding. [HE HAS LEARNED FROM CLEF.] The thing about 'people' is ya can't teach people how to interact with them without letting them experience it themselves too. They can't be learned from books alone sorta thing.

But that outlook is a good one to have.

No one has use for power for power's sake. That's why its a frustrating thing to deal with. Its just a need born out of greed, fear, and insecurity. Pointless, only an empty attempt to fulfill a person's delusions they can be fully in control.

It can be.

That is the key difference to shadow magic and dark magic. Shadow magic requires a 'subject.' Either yerself, or a target, and it gains power from that subject. Shadow magic requires a 'shadow' to be cast. Be it literal or the soul.

Dark magic, however, spreads. It easily infects. If yer not very careful, its easy to taint the land, change and alter things. Light magic does the same, but there's not many who can use light magic. Not often yer gonna find a corrupt light user. But anyone could use dark magic in theory, so corruption is easier to find. It does also use yer negative emotions, and it can amplify those, so if ya don't have self control, it can turn into a downward spiral. If yer weak, it can alter ya. But personally, dark magic has never altered my mind.

I think the bigger issue was the King of Darkness loves to whisper in the ear of anyone whose connected to dark magic and he's very good at finding the stuff that makes a person turn evil. He has a lot of tricks to that do, a lot of power, lot of doom. I just got lucky to have the precise mental faculties where he couldn't change my mind.

[Really, all Ganon had to do was offer him a way to the World of Light, and connect him to the Dark Mirror. After that, Shadow was powerful and motivated. There was no need to put anymore work into him. Just give him orders and let him go.]

[The sound Xehanort makes is acknowledging, but also disagreeable - he's not going to bother to figure it out. If he upset someone who mattered, well, he'd burn that bridge when he came to it. Everyone else wasn't a concern.

The rest passes without immediate comment. It's an interesting thought, the idea that light could also corrupt and poison, but it's not something he's ever heard ANYONE mention before. It would be worth testing at some point.]

...Is your King of Darkness you speak of likely to be an issue, or is it a more metaphorical 'fighting your inner demons' sort of thing?

[He always heard the darkness as whispers, emotions - but nobody else ever phrased it that way. It could be a coincidence, a metaphorical example to his ongoing reality.. but it's worth finding out.]

[Shadow raises an eyebrow at that.] I wouldn't give up on figuring out people, especially their negative emotions. I've yet to see a world where controllable darkness is utterly divorced from emotional negativity. Dismiss emotion, and ya forever lose a facet of understanding.

It might be why darkness always gets a bad reputation. So few people like admitting the value of negative emotion, and understanding emotions in others is a difficult skill. Difficulty and misunderstanding breeds contempt.

[He snorts at that, and manipulates the shadow under the training dummy. Forming a man, then through various pig like monsters.] Oh, no, he's a very literal person. A man of great power touched the Triforce, powerful divine thing, and gained the Triforce of Power, a third of it. Since then, he hasn't stayed dead and has basically hijacked every bit of large pools of dark magic he can. Dig too deep too quick, ya get his attention, and ya can get overwhelmed. Every couple of centuries, a hero is reborn and seals him away a while with the princess.

Both of whom I grew up with, so that saved my mind. Haven't heard his voice since the sealing and definitely not off world.

There is a point where worrying about other people's feelings are detrimental. And it seems in this case my emotions will be more of a concern if I am the one manipulating darkness.

[There is a brief, faint thread of bitterness in that. He had nothing against negative emotions, he wasn't afraid of anger or fear or fury, every emotion was useful if put to work. That didn't mean he was going to spend even a significant amount of time working himself up over other people's feelings. If it was up to him to control himself, then it's up to them to control themselves.

The shapes Shadow shapes the ... shadow .. into are entirely unfamiliar to him. Ganon simply didn't exist as a concern!]

I can say with some confidence that in all the whispers I have heard, none have come from such a source. It seems your world has the cycle fairly well settled, at least, for all that it negatively impacted you. Fortuitous timing, or were you part of his plot?

[There's something not... right about Shadow, about what he hears in the darkness. Not disturbing, not really, but interesting.]

Which is even more reason to understand others at least a little. The thing about yer own emotions is their yers. They're affected by yer understanding. And it difficult to understand where things are going wrong when its ya.

I'm not saying ya have to go all bleeding heart, righting every wrong, fix all the problems. Its all about the ability to see where things are and where they're going. Different perspectives to help ya understand yerself and the darkness. It can also help keep ya from drowning. Doesn't matter how much control ya think ya have over yer emotions. Everyone has that part of them that strips away all rationality and its often the darkness feeds into that.

I figured. Ain't from Hyrule, he ain't likely to be a problem. And pretty settled. Well documented too. Lots of legends.

[He snorts.] All of Castletown was. He thought I'd be easy to manipulate and control with the darkness, but my priority had always been those two. Anything he offered had to involve them, but since Zelda had to die for him to be freed, he couldn't get the emotional anchor needed to control me. Thwarted by the power of love, as cheesy as that sounds. [Which was technically true. His love for Zelda and her giving him some validation was enough to turn him and Ganon didn't have the means to stop him. It was debatable if he could control Shadow's mind. He never tried, but Shadow by that point had so much practice at that magic, it would have made it difficult.]

Edited 2021-08-27 14:24 (UTC)

I'll determine that for myself as situations arise.

[It's a polite enough refusal, if firm in the 'and that's the end of the subject' sort of tone; he's not going to spend all his time obsessing about everyone else's feelings, but there's no point in being rude to Shadow about it.

He'll sink or swim on his own, that much had been made abundantly clear by others.

Easier to consider the other subject at hand, this foreign King and his actions. If two were needed to control Shadow, having one stone-dead would certainly put a damper on such an effort!]

It seems it's for the best he won't trouble anyone for a while, then. But if they aren't here already, your friends may suddenly turn up at some point, quite alive. I wouldn't suggest a foolish idea as hanging hopes on it, merely .. don't be surprised if it happens. Your King.. less likely. The train doesn't seem much inclined to picking up truly evil beings, for some reason.

[He rolls his eyes.] Hey, no water off my back if ya want to limit yerself as long as ya keep in mind my warnings about power abuse.

[He snorts.] I've been in other places for years without a hint of 'em. Closest I got was ancient ancestors. Its likely I'll never have a meaningful interaction ever again as myself.

But that's fine. As long as they got an easy life now, that's what counts.

Evil beings are a pain to wrangle and keep from wrecking shop.

[Xehanort's smile is thin and knifelike.]

I wonder how receptive you would have been, with the same advice offered to you at the beginning.

[He can guess.]

... Mm, if nothing else we all have a vested interest in not seeing our only means of survival being destroyed. Now. With rules out of the way..

[He still had no reason to make fun of shadows, or Shadows. That much is easy enough.]

I would like to have significantly better control over the power than I currently have, as rumor has it when I don't, it goes rather badly for everyone else. If you've skill at avoiding such fates, have at it, though I would prefer methods that don't revolve around 'suppress it and try to pretend it doesn't exist', I have small issues with curiosity.

[Large ones.]

[He laughs at that.] That isn't where I would have needed advice. I've always been perceptive of others emotions. Its why I'm good at the magic.

[The problem was while he understood emotions, his fear of being unable to change his situation took precedent. The weakness was wholly internal character over his ability to see others.]

Suppress and try to pretend it doesn't exist is the exact opposite of what I'd tell ya to do. [And that is Very Serious.] Especially if ya have dark or shadow magic as a natural talent. With the connection between those kind of magics and negative emotion, rejecting a part of yerself will only cause it to grow and get out of yer control. Its important to embrace it and make a part of yerself so ya can control it, decide when and where its used.

So that may be step one. How much do you see the power as a part of yerself and how much do ya just see it as a tool away from yerself?

[This time there's no immediate response, because honestly he hasn't put a lot of thought into it as to whether or not darkness counted as something he was, or something that was only a useful thing to have.

As of yet it hasn't been terribly useful..]

I don't think I could escape the idea that it must on some level be part of me. Of all things that have always been there to memory's recall, only darkness qualifies. It may well be a literal part of my nature, as eyes or hands are, given..

[He pauses, then shakes his head. Elidibus wasn't exactly necessarily proof that it was nature either, just a coincidence!]

Either way, if a tool it is, then it's not exactly been a very handy one as yet.

Hands and eyes is the more accurate part. [That is very quick.]

In truth, everyone has darkness. Its just most don't have literal power connected to it. Negative emotion is the mundane darkness, what you have is power connected to it, but at the very base, its the same thing. Just like anger can be used to protect yerself and others, so can dark magic be used for good, neutral, or otherwise.

As long as yer aware of what yer doing. Using anger without being aware ya are could easily point it the wrong way. And if ya deny yer anger, then ya can hurt people without admitting why and that's when ya do the worse thing...

And convince yerself yer right. That yer actions are justified when its negative emotion. And then ya no longer have control. Its a lie yer telling yerself, but the anger is the one charge.

By the way, the good and bad binary isn't a moral lecture, its just easier examples. Neutral things takes knowing ya more to get the point across.

Darkness can be a tool, but first and foremost, what it is, is yerself. Never deny it is a part of ya because the moment ya start is the moment ya can't control it.

[There is a brief gesture with one hand, side to side. Almost a 'meh' sort of gesture.]

'Good' and 'bad' are a baseline most people understand, it's reasonable to use it. Until quite recently, I had no reason to fear it, or question whether or not it should ever be used. Perhaps eventually something changed, and I did choose to for some reason deny it.

[And then worlds imploded. Xehanort never had doubts before about the darkness! Since arriving here though..]

But as things stand, I admit, I am not really sure where things go wrong exactly. So far I don't believe.. any of that would ordinarily be an issue. I was taught by my Master that darkness is something to shun, and yet it never seemed I should.

Well, that's probably part of where things go wrong.

How honest were ya to yer master about not shunning it? How much did ya value his opinion, or lie?

From the time I know there was no reason to pretend otherwise. We were even planning on experiments with my heart and the darkness to see if it might affect my lost memory. We were to not embrace it of course, but in proper hands and with enough safety protocols--

[That's definitely frustration, in expression and tone.]

They won't tell me what happens to change that, and where or when I begin hiding my actions and plans from him. I value .. I used to value his opinions and commands as the wisdom and experience they were.

...well, that's three different bombs right there. Could be memory, could be experiment....

Could be resentment and anger at rejection at something ya see as part of yerself.

And having someone ya respect do it can make ya start to do it, even if yer not fully aware yer doing that. It could also be the weird experiments which could be anything, or the memory gave ya a hell of an identity crisis.

...I suppose it doesn't much matter. The same routes can't be taken again. But everyone on this train who knows the name 'Xehanort' is from a time long after I destroy several worlds, and 'anger and resentment' are already risks.

[It's not undeserved, really, they'd been through hell.. but it makes for a less than pleasant experience for the still as yet innocent Xehanort.]

If I can gain better control of the results of that, I can prevent that end without relying on a parade of would-be heros to cut me down if I step a toe out of line. Perhaps use it to fuel that teleportation spell Elidibus is always using, popping in and out of shadows like they're doors.

...yer not gonna like my answer to that.

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Power outage for a few days happened, then work. :(

Its cool. It happens.

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