voidtreckernet | video | merriment 15

( Ah, yes. Communication at its finest. Why is Inigo flustered, is it just this topic, is it the d-word, it's gotta be the d-word. )

Yes?

( Yes, he's talking to you, and he's talked! About this! So the dragon is a bit confused over why Inigo seems confused, because he said he's asking for a friend, so how's this... weird... is it weird to ask for a friend.

Oh come on, is it?! )

Why, is this weird?

W-Well, no..

[ Even though it is weird. Why would his handsome dragon friend be crushing on him all of a sudden, huh?! Especially when he started the big deal about not doing casual dating in the first place! What changed? A-Also, why Inigo of all people?!

But he doesn't want to hurt Jingyi's feelings - the feelings Inigo is entirely imagining inside of his head, anyway - so of course he's saying it's not weird.

He's sweating though. Panicked gay disaster over here. ]

I.. I just.. um.. What made you change your mind..?

( Pause. He's visibly confused, because the conversation he thought they were having doesn't make sense for... changing minds? Unless he's supposed to change his mind. Is he? He grimaces, sinking down to the bottom of the screen as he rests his arms on the table, and his chin on top. )

I'm not sure I did.

( Change his mind on how to handle this, at least, or that he should, because Inigo's not saying it's weird, but he's acting like it's a little weird. )

Does that make sense?

( No. No, it does not make sense, for the two conversations they're independently having. )

[ .. He didn't?! The only implication Inigo can glance from that - in the way his head is spinning this conversation - is that it means Jingyi must have felt this way about him.. all along..?

...

No way. That's crazy. Crazy. Inigo feels like he's dying over here. Gay panic was not on his schedule. ]

Hey. I'm coming over to talk about this in person. Right now. [ You know, while sounding like he's only barely keeping it together.

Totally normal. ]

( At this point Jingyi figures he's missing some incredibly important part of this conversation regarding his concerns over Sizhui's situation with Dennis, which has apparently alarmed Inigo, and now he's even more lost. Look, he even told Tidus he wasn't actually going to punch anyone!

At least not without probable cause!

He's a reasonable guy! Really!

But aside from the rather on brand perplexed puppy staring at screen look that's happening, and a slow blink of what the heck, he lifts up his chin so he can free a hand for a wave at the ICP. )

Sure, okay? I'm in my room.

( At the moment without roommates, though that's a situation always in flux. He uses his lifted hand to stifle a yawn. What, has he just announced he's going to duel someone to the death? Seems dumb, but who knows. Or no, more likely, that he's opposed to this relationship? Which... he isn't, as long as both sides are clear. He wants Sizhui happy. What he doesn't want is Sizhui broken hearted because some guy with short hair thinks falling in and out of love is his expectation of his own affections. That's fine, but back off, bucko, Sizhui deserves more than some fickle guy's transient emotions.

He taps the screen off for the moment, figuring replies come up as their own broadcasting too, so he won't miss any other advice from people in different situations. He has to gather himself for heading toward the door, but doesn't quite bother standing until he hears a knock. That's when he'll heft upward with a tired groan, shuffle to the door in his hoodie and boxers, tail dragging behind him rather than attempting to be all that lively, and check that his ribbon sits straight across his brow when the door opens. )

Inigo?

[ Thank Naga that Jingyi doesn't have roommates right now, or this spectacle would get even dumber than it already is. As things are now, though, it seems that this embarrassment will be limited to the two of them - for better or worse.

Because the moment he opens that door to let Inigo in, Inigo will do exactly that, probably with a half-flustered 'mind if I come in' where he is already very much busy scooting himself in at the same time. Look, usually he'd mind his manners a little more, but right now he is mostly just busy being a very, very flustered boy. His face is so red. ]

L-Look. [ Inigo sputters once he's inside, the door shut behind him. It's a good thing he hasn't looked down yet and realised the other guy is in just his boxers under that hoodie, or there would have been screeching. So much screeching. ] I, um..

[ How.. does he even start this.. He was so flustered on the way over that he didn't think of how to do that! ]

You.. have to be careful with saying that kind of stuff across the ICPs, you know.. [ Not his main point. But a lot easier to say than literally anything else you know. ] Everyone can hear it!

( It could have been community clown theatre, but as it is, the theatre call was over a few days ago. Curtains, as it were.

Point being, Inigo scoots himself in and Jingyi just blinks, closing the door automatically and following after. Less to follow, more because he managed to stand, and that's his bed, and he'd like to sit on it again. He flops down, scoots himself back on the narrow frame (he needs to never stop complaining, train, this is ridiculous) and pulls his legs up after him, curling his tail primly across his lap, so no one has to deal with the fact boxes are not skin tight, and sitting cross legged is not, well, modest. Unless you have a tail. Then it is, so there.

Jingyi for his part is trying to figure out what set Inigo off, and it seems to start with... publicity? Which fairly, is what his sect leader was telling him, and is eventually what Dennis was annoyed by, but good. They can all be annoyed together. )

I know. Is that the problem?

( If it's a lecture on manners, then yeah, he knows he deserves it. So here he is, still blinking up at Inigo, wondering if that's it (he thinks maybe not, he thinks maybe yes, he thinks: I am going to make Dennis lose so bad at arm wrestling) or not. )

Or a problem.

( If he opens the door wide for criticisms, is that going to help? Not like there's anything he can't take, except for people slighting his clan, his elders, his best friend, or—okay, so he's not great at holding his tongue. He can, at least, own up to his own mistakes, ergo the waiting. )

You can lay the rest out.

Uh, aaaaaa.. problem?

[ Inigo sure isn't helping matters by being so awkward about this, huh. But how can he say it more bluntly than this?! He's so worried about screwing something up here, and after nervously - and awkwardly, all at the same time - standing there in the room, just taking up space, he moves to sit down on the bunk opposite from Jingyi's own. It doesn't look like anyone is using that one, so it's fine. Clearly.

Then he moves up a hand to pull it nervously through his hair, still thinking. ]

I mean.. uh. I just.. didn't know you felt that way, and..

[ He's starting to get redder by the moment, but Inigo shakes his head. Focus! You can do this, bud! ]

I-I think you're really handsome! And a super nice guy too, when it comes down to it! But.. uh, we don't.. really know each other all that well yet? So I wouldn't want you to break your clan rules over that, you know..? [ Okay, there's a lot more sides to it than that, but it feels the easiest to hide behind the excuse of the latter. P-PLEASE JINGYI, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM THAT WELL. HE'S NOT EVEN PARTICULARLY HOT..!!

Is the problem here slowly becoming more clear. Or rather - the misunderstanding. ]

( The misunderstanding starts to make itself apparent, though with his thoughts running slow and tired, he's left blinking at Inigo and his red face and the whole of it, speaking first without thinking hard on it: )

My clan's got over three thousand precepts. We broke at least twenty five when we went pole dancing.

( this is entirely irrelevant beyond his tired wonder at anyone thinking he's not aware of breaking rules he thinks are dumb practically daily. in fact actually daily right now, but that's not the point, and it's not what's going on, which is clearly:

Inigo being Inigo, and trying to gently (?) turn Jingyi down (??) for a proposal that, uh.

... he thinks has happened (???).

this is almost novel, also somewhat irritating, but more novel. he's never been turned down before, directly related to never asking anyone to... uh. what.

he thought he was... pretty clearly talking about his friend, for one, but also how his expectations were kind of... a lot. which he knows, but then that makes it insulting, because Inigo is... saying even if Jingyi was willing to compromise for someone, they got to decide if that wasn't fair.

and since he's preeeetty absolutely positive this is a very embarrassed attempt to gently turn him down, and now he's starting to blush a touch because what the catastrophic storm winds, Jingyi kind of.

... gets annoyed. come on! give him a genuine refusal! he's an adult, he can wreck himself if he chooses! )

That's my decision, right? Yours is about how you feel, not how I do, or what I do about it.

( this with the smallest twitch of the tailtip. absently, he pats his own fluff down. )

So I like you, and? ( which he does, he's said that before, he's just not head over heels for anyone, or frankly anyone that people blush around except in secondhand embarrassment, for the most part; ) I trust myself on that.

( then he starts ticking things off on his fingers, because Inigo started it, so Jingyi will finish it. hah! )

You're attractive, you're kind, you lock a whole lot down. You throw yourself into helping people out. You wear smiles like a mask, and that's all fine.

( he lifts his shoulders in a small shrug. he's so tired. how did this happen. can they nap on this. no, ugh, he's not the kind to be avoidant, even if he's... also not going to spare Inigo from having to go through his whole gentle letdown. be honest, get through it, be better friends after, right? that's how that works. probably? )

Just say what's going on for you. It's not like I'm going to pin you down and say, love me anyway.

( he would normally attempt an eye roll at that: sure, it would be nice to tell someone that, if you were a complete jackass with zero ability to respect other people's boundaries. he's frankly too tired to try.

either way: MUTUALLY ASSURED SUFFERING this is how bonding happens )

[ Sweet Naga.

There's suddenly so much happened. As Inigo stares at the other guy while listening to him, he's slowly starting to look like he might just pass out any minute now - or maybe that's just how he feels, totally getting lost in this wave that suddenly rushes over him, so much more than he could handle. Every single individual part of this would be enough to strike Inigo down all by itself, but.. together? How is he supposed to survive this? Does Jingyi like him this much, even though he never got that impression from the other before?!

And like he says, it's not like he's going to... pin... Inigo down... ]

[ A-and say.. love me... anyway...... ]

[ Oh no, Naga no, this is not the time to let lost in that imagined scene! BEGONE, DEMON. OUT OF THIS HOUSE. ]

H--H--!!

[ Is Inigo trying to talk? Are these his death throes? Who knows, it sounds like it could be either, since the letter he's repeating kind of sounds like he's just letting out a death gurgle. RIP Inigo, killed by awkward friendship.

But even though it suddenly feels so hard to even do something as simple as speak, he finally manages to do so after a few moments, his face still as red as a tomato. ]

H-How c-can you say all that?! Y-You can't be that nice to me, you're going to m-make me feel bad!

[ PLEASE, MAN. HE NEVER HAD TO DO THIS BEFORE!! BE GENTLE WITH HIM. ]

( Maybe it's because of how red in the face Inigo's turning, but Jingyi's starting to wonder if this isn't half some bizarre fever dream. His lips to twitch up at one corner, though, brows quirking.

Man, you made this bed, let him pull back the covers and invite you to lay down in it. That's plenty gentle. )

I would think the point is, is I want to be nice to you ( okay, true, but also, a little funny, because he knows he's also being a bit of a jackass not giving Inigo an easy way out; ) so it's in my interests to do that. No one said I wasn't selfish.

( He turns his hands palm-up, empty. Sorry, bro, you've gotta get through this feeling bad or otherwise! )

So be selfish for you, too.

( Look in his mind this is also a weird prep talk so??? You've got whatever this is, Inigo! )

[ A smart person would probably figure out what's going on right now, if not just by studying Jingyi's face alone.

But the problem is that Inigo isn't a particularly smart person - and that the chance of anything smart coming from him at all is drastically reduced with every moment he spends as a flustered mess. He doesn't even get that Jingyi might be trying to reassure (??) him or teach him a lesson (??). All he can think about is how awkward this situation is.

Because here is a dude into him. So easily. Which feels impossible?! And over here Inigo is, turning him down?!

He feels crazy.

Maybe he is crazy.

(Maybe he is wildly escalating a situation in his head that's just a misunderstanding.) ]

I.. uh, w-well, I...

[ Inigo eyes the door nervously, as if he's trying to calculate his chances of just running away. Jingyi is so tired, he'd never catch up to him! .. but then again, it's kind of sad to do that to someone you're rejecting, huh. ]

I already like someone..!

[ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

WHERE'S THE BUTTON FOR THE EMERGENCY 'BEING SHOT OUT INTO THE VOID BY THE BUNK YOU'RE SITTING ON' OPTION? ]

( It's funnier that Inigo is probably more cute turning him down for a misunderstanding than he has been so far in Jingyi's estimate, which is a whole other thing he has no need to think about. In fact he cannot, he's way too tired. Which, frankly, has a little to do with the: )

Ah, and he's bad with sharing.

( That comes out, mostly a jest. Also blinked off because it's like realising his normally minimal filter is even more off the road, and his brain is too slow to catch up to his mouth.

Far more importantly, and the reason why his tailtip curls into a tight, curious arc, is that Lan Jingyi enjoys a particular brand of gossip.

This is definitely on that brand. )

That's good though, right? You should have someone you care about. Who is he?

( Exactly on the brand that the guy who mostly looks like some mix of tired, curious, and interested rather than heartbroken: it's like an early warning system he didn't have to invest in to say NO DON'T DO IT YOU'RE HEADING FOR A BAD TIME, but really, had he noticed he was starting to care like that, this would have come up eventually.

Then... wait. )

You've told him, right?

( The firsts keep stacking up, because not only is this his first rejection, and before his first confession, it's the first time anyone around him has been in that kind of like with someone and brought it up, and he's kind of oddly proud of Inigo for coming forward with it. You go, Inigo!

... You are going with your heart, right? )

[ How come this feels like he's rolling from one disastrous situation right into another? Inigo doesn't even have time to contemplate how Jingyi is taking this so well for someone who must just have had his heart broken in Inigo's little misunderstanding world.

Oh, no, because his focus is taken up entirely by the things Jingyi says. Every single one of those statements and questions drags an even louder mental ugh from him, all the way until the other guy arrives at that last question.

'You've told him, right?' You've told him, right?

As if Inigo hasn't imagined telling his crush it ten thousand times over, each more terrible than the last!!

He lets out a sigh that sounds like his soul is quite literally leaving his body, before he just drops his face forward, straight into his hands. ]

You have absolutely no idea just how many reasons there are why I can't ever tell him how I feel!

( ... Jingyi wonders what in the world goes on in Inigo's head sometimes, butt but right now, he doesn't get it. He scoots forward, letting his legs dangle off the bunk so his feet touch the ground, shaking his head.

Why do people make their lives complicated? Clearly mystery man matters, or else why run over in a fluster to turn down someone who hadn't... been trying to whatever him. It would be funnier if the soul ending sigh didn't instead make him tired. )

Not until you tell me, I won't. So talk! You've got my full attention.

( up to the point where he passes out, at least, forgive him. He lets his tail flop down to the floor, a living line of scales and fur. Ugh... he needs to do a full brushing soon... )

I can start guessing, but that seems dumb with you right here.

[ Jingyi is such a gossip auntie. It's like he's sinking his teeth into this and not letting go.. And Inigo feels like he'll have no good way to just weasel himself out of this conversation without it inevitably turning really, really awkward later on.

So he has to be honest. Which is hard, because he's never said any of this out loud, no matter how often he's turned the thoughts over and over inside of his own head.

It makes him sigh again as he finally raises his face from his hands, looking kind of miserable, despite not even being in a similar exhausted state to Jingyi. ]

Because there's already a girl who's really important to him. And even though they can probably never be together again [ - honestly, using the word 'probably' there is generous when it could be left out, but Inigo likes to have some hope for his crush's happiness - ] there's just no way I could ever take her place.

( He appreciates honesty. He's also honestly doing his best not to roll his eyes, because okay, fine. If this were a Lan thing, he'd get it. But he's had it repeatedly pointed out on train that their singularity in going too hard for love is pretty singular everywhere.

Also, Inigo assuming what people feel, and why, and how he fits into it are pretty obviously... not based on freaking asking in direct words. Case in point, the reason why he'd rushed over here! )

Inigo, why do you keep making other people's decisions for them? Why do you think people replace each other instead of add up to even more people being in someone's heart? That's dumb.

( Wait, pause, here's the late diplomacy check: )

Is that what you do? Keep replacing people in your heart based on how well they stack up compared to the ones you've lost?

( He sounds dubious. He sounds so dubious about this potentially new insight. )

Edited 2021-07-29 14:54 (UTC)

What? No!

[ It's said quick, almost offended. There's definitely something both flustered and frustrated in Inigo's tone, exactly because all of this is such a sensitive issue. And he knows that this is just Jingyi being who he is - blunt, mostly, extremely direct - but it still just feels bad to be confronted with that first thing when it's already so hard for Inigo to open up about any of this. ]

L-Listen, you have to be gentle with me on this topic, okay? [ Because he feels like this is probably.. something he needs to communicate with Jingyi, or the other will bulldozer straight over him. While all of this is already terrifying.

Even his hands can't stop fretting. A hand through his hair, then nervously scratching at his neck. ]

You'd get it if you had seen him talk about her. She's his entire world. If you want to put it in terms of space in someone's heart, then it's like.. like she takes up so much space that there's just no room for anyone else in that sort of way.

[ Inigo slowly breathes out, trying to keep it from sounding too shakey and failing hard. ]

.. especially a guy.

Edited 2021-07-29 19:09 (UTC)

( He's right to up front tell Jingyi, since it means Jingyi will try not to... roll him over with a boulder. Even if he does think this is dumb, because one can't resolve what anyone else thinks or feel on their own, he can understand. Feelings are dumb. People convince themselves into all kinds of knots, and things hurt, and you can't protect against them, and you can't help but want what you want. Working through that is a whole other thing.

One he knows better with people he's known for years, but that much means he can listen now. A good few seconds lagging to what would be more normal, but as his brain catches up, he sighs, shoves off his bunk, and kind of looks at Inigo, for the first time here feeling awkward. )

May I sit down?

( On his roommate's bunk, which he'll haphazardly smooth out the blanket for when Inigo ends up leaving. ... If he doesn't also fall asleep on it, trying. We're sorry, roommates. Roll him to the side, he sleeps on floors very nicely, too! )

[ Inigo looks right back up to Jingyi when the other suddenly stands - surprisingly, considering he knows it can't be easy for Jingyi right now, with how utterly tired the other has seemed ever since they returned from the mission - and is quiet for a moment.

Mostly since he's surprised, since his jaw is slightly hanging open.

Then he quickly nods, seeming kind of flustered. (Still?) ]

O-Of course! [ He's already scooting over as he says it, making room for Jingyi. Perhaps a little bit more room than necessary, as if he's overcompensating.

Inigo's gaze was already nervous, with something sad in it too, but now it's apologetic as well. ]

.. sorry, did I say too much?

( Jingyi doesn't seem to notice, but he does use the extra space for his tail to curl up and settle across his own lap, letting his hands rest on top of it after he's settled. Inigo has so much fluster to spare, the poor guy. Isn't that tiring?

(Jingyi thinks everything is tiring about now.) )

Huh? No, why are you apologising?

( There would be reasons, for other things in this madcap adventure that still feels like a fever dream, but he waves one hand with all the strength of literally just flopping his hand around, settling it back on his tail after with a long sigh of his own. )

I'm trying to understand. Since you asked me to be gentle.

( Why is that the correlation. Why is this the case. )

So... you're worried he doesn't like guys, since the important person in his heart was a lady. You're also worried he loves her too much to have room for anyone else.

( With a touch of dry humour, he asks: )

You sure you don't think he's a Lan?

[ Thankfully Inigo sees that last part of what it is, even under the current circumstances. Or rather, under Inigo's current flustered circumstances. It's the tone that does it, making a faint smile appear on Inigo's face, even if the rest of his expression still seems like the facial expression version of It's Complicated. ]

I don't think people adhere by those kinds of strict dating rules where he's from. [ Inigo lightly jokes in return.

He's trying. Especially since he realises Jingyi is being so kind to him here. Hearing him out even though the other is tired, trying to be gentle with Inigo after he asked for it. It means he has to do his own part too. ]

But.. yeah. Even aside from that specific girl.. I don't know how he feels about the idea of having something like that with a guy in general. He already found it odd the first time I asked him for a hug. [ Like it's weird for two guys to hug each other! Please! It sure isn't in Inigo's little mental world. ] So it doesn't seem very likely that he's ever thought of getting together with a guy.

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1/idk give me a sec dude

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okay i'm done

LMF poor inigo

you can't talk about PINNING and then not TAKE RESPONSIBILITY my dude!!

so really is just the start of inigo's harem daydreams, live your best life bro--

yes, time to imagine jingyi kabedonning him

jgdjgd don't let your dreams stay dreams, there's always a nonsense way

one day we'll make it happen

we will, i believe in shenanigan potentials

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