Video | Llama 29

[firewalled]

Yo! Needed you all to know something important, so listen up, train!

[Rich is standing in front of the monitor in the music room, hands on his hips, looking very stern and serious... but then he smirks.]

Have you ever gotten ads online promising hot bisexual singles in your area?

[...Is he actually shooting fingerguns?]

It's me. I'm the hot bisexual single in your area. Just thought you all needed to know I am currently on the market.

Please field all date inquiries to my mailbox. Or my sleeper car, whatever. I'm rooming with Alice, but we are not an item.

[She would pretty much laugh in his face if he even implied they were.]

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[subcircuits]

Right on! Bi solidarity! [Did Devero just pump a fist? Yes. Yes he did.]

[sciencegirl]

I would let you know if I knew anyone but I don't want to go around asking people your age about their sexual preferences without any relevant research basis. It may give off the wrong impression.

[She has misinterpreted this coming out as Rich genuinely looking for a date.]

[katzenpfote]

... What is 'online', and is that actually an advertisement common in your world?

[irrationally]

[ There is so much in this message that Alice's Victorian brain is absolutely incapable of understanding.

But thankfully the general message seems to come across well enough regardless. Enough for her to understand what he's going for. And after saying he should stop putting himself down so much, it's not so bad to see this.

Even if she can't resist saying: ]

Does that mean I can read all your date inquiries as they come in too? [ Hey, he did say send them to the sleeper car! ]

[labcatte]

How old are you, kiddo? [the anthropomorphic tiger person asks, with what might be an amused expression on their face.] Because I'm thirty-one and if we're going by the whole 'half your age plus seven years' thing, that means I can't date anyone under the age of twenty-two.

[They are so not taking this seriously.]

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[fivemilesdeep]

[Admittedly, there's a number of things in here that Ryo doesn't understand; that said, he's used to about half of what people say offhandedly flying right over his head. World differences make life interesting.]

[That said, from what he does understand, there are some things he doesn't want to say over the ICP - not after Thanatos's reaction last time. So he finds Rich in the music car, closes the door behind him, and-]

...so is it just me, or are there a lot of really attractive people on this train?

[HE CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS, RIGHT]

[agoodsoul]

[Oh no, oh Rich. Dennis is trying not to laugh, not exactly at Rich, but it's not what he expected.]

Shit, mate. Looking for love on a space train? [Sorry sorry, he promises he's not making fun of him.]

What's your type? Should I keep an eye out for ya?

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[oncedriven]

[Delivered deadpan: ]

Hot singles? You don't look much like a fire blade.

[And then after a pause the deadpan expression drops into something that's more like 'holy shit did I just make that joke, oh fuck']

[firewalled]

[Rich absolutely beams. He wasn't worried that people would judge him, but it's always nice to find a kindred spirit.]

You too? I probably should have guessed. The future is probably way more progressive than my dumb past world.

[firewalled]

Oh geez. Okay, you know these computers we're talking through? Some of 'em can connect to this thing called the internet, which is a big... portal of information I guess? And spam. And a lot of furry art. Even some weirdos roleplaying furries, too.

When you're on there, or 'online', you can see ads like that. Usually it's just for 'hot singles in your area,' so I added the clarification. Sometimes they're more specific, anyways!

[firewalled]

[Rich finds himself giggling softly at Entrapta's earnest response. It was partially a search for a date as well as a coming out, so it's fine if she only got part of that.]

You sure you couldn't position it as a research project? Just a project to find out who's the most compatible with me! We could do surveys. See which potential partner like rock concerts and long walks in the greenhouse car.

[sciencegirl]

I could actually do some kind of survey, come to think of it. Though to get medical car supplies.

[People aren't really afraid to be gay or bi in her world. She was shattered to discover that in Kitty's people with powers are marginalized. It sucks. It doesn't occur to her how big a deal coming out might be when it's just not that big of a thing where she's from.]

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[controlsthedie]

[ Thanatos has trouble with words. It took a while for him to realize that when Della called him cool, she was not talking about his actual cooler than normal body temperature. Sadly, he didn't seem to extend the idea towards the opposite side of the temperature spectrum, that it might mean something other than what he's used to.

He has a brain, really! He just has his hang ups and is from centuries past. ]

... You do not appear to be on fire or even radiating excessive amounts of heat.

[ Also that is clearly the important aspect to focus on. Yes. ]

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[zombiemessiah]

[Way to summon Murphy out of the woodwork.]

Not hot like Zagreus's feet hot, hot like Zagreus's pecs hot. Two different types of hot.

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[controlsthedie]

[ How does this keep happening? What special power does he have? ]

So... less fire and more... just general body warmth.

[ Death is digging his own grave. ]

[katzenpfote]

A portal of information...

[That gets his attention more than anything else.]

So... like flyers, but inside of the screen? For relationships?

[zombiemessiah]

[Oh this poor god... man... soul? Eh.]

Think of it more like if someone's hot they warm you up just lookin' at them.

Make more sense?

[That grave is only about three feet deep, Than. You need to dig it a little deeper or climb out. Pick your fate.]

[controlsthedie]

No, it does not.

[ He can look at the magma of Asphodel and feel too hot. Or the sun. (Well, not directly at the sun.) ]

[zombiemessiah]

[There is the longest stare. The most pained stare. Here's that shovel to keep digging, Mr. Death god.]

It means someone's sexy. That's what it means. Please don't tell me 'sexy' is also a descriptor for the texture of rocks or something where you're from because I am about three seconds from going and finding a sex-ed book or an appropriately raunchy romance novel to help you out here.

[controlsthedie]

[ Thanatos stares back, waiting for clarification. And then he gets his clarification. ]

I... see... Well. Not meaning temperature hot like Zagreus is but meaning aesthetically pleasing like Zagreus is.

[ Then he realizes what he just said, and oh... does Thanatos's cheeks bloom gold with the ichor rushing there. Blood and darkness! ]

I-I just remembered something I need to attend to.

[ And there Thanatos goes. Does the ICP turn off on its own after a period of inactivity? ]

[thawed_pride]

[Behold the exaggerated rolling of Vexen's eyes from what looks to be the greenhouse.]

Then I would suggest a tall glass of ice water to cool down. Honestly, how do you people function...

[zombiemessiah]

Oh thank god, I was about to call a medic 'cause you were killing me. Which is a joke! I don't actually need a medic.

[You know, clarification.]

Good luck with your endeavors. [From the color he just turned he's going to assume that they'll either be in his bunk or in a closet, one terrible implication or the other.]

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[dyingpro]

... so what's a bisexual?

[Asks the fellow hot bisexual single.]

(in person)

[its_dad_sanzo]

[ Only once Devero is eventually done chatting and is no longer broadcasting anything on the ICP, does Koumyou chime in from somewhere near him. ]

Bisexual?

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[dyingpro]

[After asking Rich a very important question, Zagreus catches up to the rest of the ICP logs and spots this gem. Oh. Oh.

When Zagreus comes on the video feed, his cheeks are tellingly pink.]

Do you... really mean that, Murph? You find me attractive? "Hot", in the metaphorical sense?