Video | Llama 29

[firewalled]

Yo! Needed you all to know something important, so listen up, train!

[Rich is standing in front of the monitor in the music room, hands on his hips, looking very stern and serious... but then he smirks.]

Have you ever gotten ads online promising hot bisexual singles in your area?

[...Is he actually shooting fingerguns?]

It's me. I'm the hot bisexual single in your area. Just thought you all needed to know I am currently on the market.

Please field all date inquiries to my mailbox. Or my sleeper car, whatever. I'm rooming with Alice, but we are not an item.

[She would pretty much laugh in his face if he even implied they were.]

Comments

[controlsthedie]

No, it does not.

[ He can look at the magma of Asphodel and feel too hot. Or the sun. (Well, not directly at the sun.) ]

[zombiemessiah]

[There is the longest stare. The most pained stare. Here's that shovel to keep digging, Mr. Death god.]

It means someone's sexy. That's what it means. Please don't tell me 'sexy' is also a descriptor for the texture of rocks or something where you're from because I am about three seconds from going and finding a sex-ed book or an appropriately raunchy romance novel to help you out here.

[controlsthedie]

[ Thanatos stares back, waiting for clarification. And then he gets his clarification. ]

I... see... Well. Not meaning temperature hot like Zagreus is but meaning aesthetically pleasing like Zagreus is.

[ Then he realizes what he just said, and oh... does Thanatos's cheeks bloom gold with the ichor rushing there. Blood and darkness! ]

I-I just remembered something I need to attend to.

[ And there Thanatos goes. Does the ICP turn off on its own after a period of inactivity? ]

[zombiemessiah]

Oh thank god, I was about to call a medic 'cause you were killing me. Which is a joke! I don't actually need a medic.

[You know, clarification.]

Good luck with your endeavors. [From the color he just turned he's going to assume that they'll either be in his bunk or in a closet, one terrible implication or the other.]

Video

[dyingpro]

[After asking Rich a very important question, Zagreus catches up to the rest of the ICP logs and spots this gem. Oh. Oh.

When Zagreus comes on the video feed, his cheeks are tellingly pink.]

Do you... really mean that, Murph? You find me attractive? "Hot", in the metaphorical sense?

[zombiemessiah]

Oh hell yeah! Like there was any doubt?

[Also... Zag. Oh no, Zag. Today is explanation day.]

Also, bisexual means you'd date men or women. Me? Definitely somewhere in that category. I can sit here and very genuinely tell you you're doing a great job at existing but also say Tannis is looking amazing at the same time.

[dyingpro]

Well, I wouldn't say I'm grotesque or anything of the sort, I'd say I'm pretty handsome by mortal standards. But... here.

[He pulls out Achilles' Codex and flips through the pages for a moment, showing Murphy the entries, and more importantly the portraits, for Megaera, Aphrodite, Ares, and Dionysus.]

It's a little easier to doubt your relative appeal when this is your competition, so to speak. Though... thank you. For saying I'm attractive. Not that not being attracted to me is a bad thing, everyone can have whatever preferences they want, it's not like I expect-- you understand what I mean, right?

[Someone's starting to develop a little crush.]

[zombiemessiah]

[He looks and, yeah, they're hot too. But come on.]

Hey, it's true. People aren't some kind of uniform criteria of 'hot'. That's not how it works. Look, they're great-looking, absolutely. But you're gonna absolutely going to be someone's best, mortal or not. Whether it's how you carry yourself or how you dress or being shy and demure or just being crazy confident.

You? Absolutely good-looking, and you got the vibe of a man that knows how to have a good time. And presence counts for hotness just as much as anything else. No competition necessary.

[There are definitely people out there hotter than Murphy but Murphy gets by on a Charisma 10 stat, showmanship, and the remarkable ability to use his emotional baggage as tactical weaponry and defense.]