Video | Llama 29

[firewalled]

Yo! Needed you all to know something important, so listen up, train!

[Rich is standing in front of the monitor in the music room, hands on his hips, looking very stern and serious... but then he smirks.]

Have you ever gotten ads online promising hot bisexual singles in your area?

[...Is he actually shooting fingerguns?]

It's me. I'm the hot bisexual single in your area. Just thought you all needed to know I am currently on the market.

Please field all date inquiries to my mailbox. Or my sleeper car, whatever. I'm rooming with Alice, but we are not an item.

[She would pretty much laugh in his face if he even implied they were.]

Comments

[controlsthedie]

Yes, and the more distracted they are, the further I fall behind in my work.

[firewalled]

What work do you have to do, actually? I mean, I know you're the god of the dead, but doesn't Hades handle the afterlife stuff?

[controlsthedie]

[ ... ]

Lord Hades is the God of the Dead. I'm the God of Death.

[firewalled]

...Oh. Right. What's the difference, exactly?

[Hades rules over the underworld, but then, what does Thanatos do? He can't remember the course on Greek mythology.]

interrupting zag who

[dyingpro]

Than here guides the souls of the dead to the Underworld; Father rules over them they're in the Underworld, and passes judgment on what part of the Underworld they end up staying in eternally.

[controlsthedie]

Er. Yes. That in short.

[firewalled]

Oh... so your job is to get them where they need to go, and then Hades handles most of the actual afterlife stuff.

[But wait a second, Rich doesn't remember Hades having a kid!]

And Hades is... your dad? Who's your mom, then?

[controlsthedie]

No, Lord Hades is my... well, lord. My mother is Nyx, Night Incarnate. I have no father. I came from her only.

[ Was that question directed him or Zagreus? ]

Hades spoilers obvs

[dyingpro]

Hades is my Father, and my Mother... well, she's been living outside the Underworld since shortly after I was born. Nyx essentially raised me as her son in place of Mother, and Master Achilles mentored me and supported me in place of Father. Than's been my first friend since before I can remember.

[Big oof on Zag's bio-dad.]

[firewalled]

Oh, sorry. I should have said that wasn't a question for you.

[He kind of remembers Nyx and Thanatos being related, at least! It's a little disappointing to learn that Hades wasn't the best father, but really, what did he expect?]

Dads are kind of the worst. I'm sorry you didn't get to know your mom, though... And I'm glad you two have each other here.

[dyingpro]

I've been able to see her!... or I was able to, before I was brought here to the Train. But this isn't about me, this is about Than, and how important he is to the Underworld! He's the first face mortals see when they die, and without him Charon and Cousin Hermes wouldn't have anyone to ferry into the Underworld, Father wouldn't have anyone to run the Administrative Office, and lots of other stuff would fall apart. Than's a really big deal!

[firewalled]

Oh! I uh, I didn't mean to imply he wasn't important! I just didn't understand the difference in the jobs. So he finds the souls, and then he helps them find their way to Charon, right? And then... runs an administrative office too.

[That part wasn't in the myths, he's pretty sure, but hey, surely gods have to modernize too.]

[controlsthedie]

[ So important that not doing his job at his best puts his world at risk. There's no other choice. He doesn't need another reminder. ]

I don't run the administration chamber. I contribute my records to it though. I cut the threads the Three Fates weave, separating body and soul when it's their time.

[dyingpro]

Sorry, should've clarified that - Father employs several shades to handle the paperwork, so they're the ones doing most of the work in the Administrative Chamber proper. Without Than, Father wouldn't have any administrative employees. Father mostly just comes in to notarize things, review contracts, and fill out a report on me every time I try to escape the House.

[firewalled]

Oh. Damn, even in death, some people just can't escape the 9 to 5 grind, huh?

[He laughs a little to himself, though something else Zagreus says gets his attention.]

Wait, sorry, you're trying to 'escape'?

[controlsthedie]

... What's a 9 to 5 grind?

[ It's always 7:48 some day or night, and a 9 to 5 schedule would actually give Thanatos some decent time off. ]

[dyingpro]

Long story, tell you some other time when I'm not busy talking up how great Than is.

[Zagreus would also know what a 9 to 5 grind is! It sounds terrible!]

[controlsthedie]

This topic concerning me is over anyways. There's no need to continue.

[ Thanatos has been feeling anything but great. ]

[firewalled]

Means working a job at what's seen as the normal office job time. 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday to Friday. It's a lot of effort keeping up a job like that, and other jobs that don't have consistent hours are even shittier.

[Not that he's actually worked much, but even summer jobs have been killer.]

[controlsthedie]

... That's all they work? How does anything get done in your Underworld? I fail to see what grind there is.

[ That sounds... pleasant. It also sounds really, really fake.

Also, how did they get from what was a singles ad to this? ]

[firewalled]

I mean, I don't live in an Underworld? And we get stuff done because bosses push you to skip breaks and work overtime. If you guys are working longer than that, I don't know how you're even surviving, dude.

[It's probably just because he's undead, Rich.

Also, Rich is easily distracted. You get used to it, Than.]