voidtreckernet | Video

Entry tags:

Video | Llama 29

Yo! Needed you all to know something important, so listen up, train!

[Rich is standing in front of the monitor in the music room, hands on his hips, looking very stern and serious... but then he smirks.]

Have you ever gotten ads online promising hot bisexual singles in your area?

[...Is he actually shooting fingerguns?]

It's me. I'm the hot bisexual single in your area. Just thought you all needed to know I am currently on the market.

Please field all date inquiries to my mailbox. Or my sleeper car, whatever. I'm rooming with Alice, but we are not an item.

[She would pretty much laugh in his face if he even implied they were.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Rich actually doesn't find these questions as silly, but poor Eight couldn't have known that before she asked. His smile becomes a little sadder and he shakes his head.]

I was actually named something else when I was little... I chose Rich myself. I don't know why I went with it... I mean, it's short for Richard, but I'm definitely not rolling in dough.

[He tries to lighten the mood by adding,] Hey, maybe the longer I use this name, the closer I'll be to winning the lottery!

Oh. [She wants to ask what his original name was but... stops. There was a reason for the change of the name and she wanted to respect that.]

...my first name was not Eight too.

[She gets it.]

...Sometimes the name you get when you're born just doesn't match who you really are. It's okay. I just, uh, don't talk about it much. Get nervous people might look at me differently.

[He doesn't exactly want to get into details, unless Eight really wants to know... but then how would she feel about him flirting with her?]

[She is being respectful, but is a little curious.]

What do you mean look at you differently?

[That is safe, right?]

Edited 2021-07-23 19:04 (UTC)

[Rich lets out a quiet sigh, but even if he wanted to avoid it, it wouldn't be right to not talk about it.]

People would think I was going through a phase. Based on my old name... people would think I wasn't really a guy.

[There's a long, slow blink.]

Huh? They wouldn't?

[Sorry, Rich, the octokid doesn't quite get it.]

[God, she really doesn't know. Rich lets out a low groan, rubbing his hand over his face.]

I'm trans. Meaning I was assumed to be a girl when I was born. That wasn't... actually the case, though. I don't know how to explain it.

[He's already unsure how to clarify without saying something offensive with those who know what he means. How does he discuss this with a squid person, who's probably never heard of this?

Or to... the dozens of people who might be listening to the network. Fuck, he's bad at this.]

[She's trying but this is hard!! Boys and girls are pretty well defined in Octarian culture, since a majority of their people are genetic clones of their parent. But then there are also Octolings like her which are born the 'natural' way...]

So... your parents thought you were a girl... but you were actually a boy...? Mmm... or is it, like, you're a girl that uses a boy style?

[Sorry, Rich, she's not trying to be insensitive. This is just a new idea for her.]

[He doesn't blame her for fumbling a little bit. God knows he's not much better with this stuff, but at least she seems to want to figure it out, which he appreciates.]

I was a boy all along, yeah. Like... my brain was, even if my body didn't exactly match that. It took me some time to come to terms with it, and I, um, I still have trouble telling people.

[She's still not sure, to be honest, but thinks that the best thing to do is to just keep thinking of "her" as a he because that's what he wants...? That second part is what stood out to her, though.]

Why? Because it is hard for people to understand?

[She will own up to her own inability, but the part is still confusing.]

Well, yeah, mostly. Back home, it was kinda frowned upon to be something outside of the norm. And I was really, really not normal, even before all the gender and sexuality confusion. My dad... well, he already hated me, but he would've kicked me out of the house if he knew I was different. If kids at school found out, they'd mock me for, you know, not being the 'tough guy' I pretended to be.

[He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head.]

Sorry, this is probably a little heavy to talk about... I don't know if I can explain it all, but tee-el-dee-ar is that society is shitty.

[She thinks... she understands the world that Rich is coming from, for it was similar to her world too. Such deviations would be strongly discouraged. Everything was purposeful and regimented. Sure, there was a certain degree of choice in what a person could do in their free time, but it was expected that you comply and obey. Choosing anything beyond that would be... problematic.]

I cannot say... I understand the difficulty you have with this. [She closes her eyes.] But I can tell it is very important to you.

It may not be a good comparison. [She didn't want to make light of what he just said or provide a false equivalency.] But I too found the path of my heart irrevocably altered. Or perhaps it would be better to say I discovered a part of myself that I did not know about myself. Something my people would not understand. Something you cannot share. Something that, once discovered, leads you to a place you did not know you needed to go.

In... the solitude the greatest joy is finding people who support you. Who let you be and discover more about that which you are drawn to.

Is that... familiar?

[He wishes Eight didn't have anything to compare this to, but he supposes in some ways, at least it makes explaining where he's coming from a little bit easier. They won't have to go in circles anymore... but Rich's heart still aches, to know Eight had to go through something even slightly similar.]

...You're right that it's important to me. And I really, really appreciate you trying to understand.

[He offers her a wobbly smile.]

And you're right. A lot of that sounds really, really familiar. Finding out something you didn't know about yourself until it was too late. Trying to hide it because you know you could be in danger if anyone found out... but going on that journey anyways, to find who you are, and let the people that matter see who you really are. That's pretty much what it is for me.

[Hmn, she doesn't know if this means anything but...]

In my case, I knew that I could not stay where I was. I had learned more and knew that life inside the Octo dome was too small. I studied, prepared, and learned much, but ultimately knew that I had to make my way to where I knew I belonged.

If... that is what it takes, then I hope that you find your place, with your people, and a family that will watch for you. Though I know that too can be hard and... a matter of good fortune.

[A place with a family to watch for him... He sighs softly, trying not to think about how far from that his family currently is.]

I hope for that too. I don't know if it's going to come this quickly, but there's a couple people back home maybe... and I've made some good friends here, right? So that's something.

[She smiles.]

Mmm! I'm glad.

You do seem much happier than the first week we met.

[What a roller coaster of a week that was!]

Heh, do I really?

[He gives a nervous little grin, but he can remember how he was when he first arrived here, and it's true every day brought a new panic attack for him.]

I guess I'm getting used to this place... kinda miserable to think that, though. [Even if he has friends here, he doesn't want to stop trying to go back.]

[She remembers him back then: an injured and confused boy who was injured on the platform. She wonders how much the current Rich would recognize that boy if he were to meet him now.]

I hope you do too. Though I will miss you.

We all have places we need to be. [And right now? She needs to be on the train. She knows that and it is giving her contentment.]

You'd miss me if I went home? Aw, that's so sappy.

[He offers a sideways smile, even as he thinks about all the people here he'd miss.]

I'd miss you too, though. A lot. I'd miss a ton of people here, and I mean... it's not like I think home really needs me.

[He doesn't think anywhere really needs him...]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Video | Llama 29

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

cw implied transphobia

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

my apologies for the delay; please feel free to not reply if too late, but I did wanted to reply

No worries! I just got back from hiatus so I'm figuring stuff out too

no subject

no subject