( Says this upbeat and certainly is not smiling by the time he flicks off the display where he is and heads after Jin Ling, based on what he saw of his surroundings.
Which means if Jin Ling isn't purposefully bent on evading him, he has one uncle popping in on him, looking amiable but concerned. )
Jin Ling, the things you want to forget, or the people, was from a world before this abducting train?
[ Jin Ling starts to tell him not to but he's already gone. Jin Ling curses and yet he doesn't think to move from where he'd been in the empty garden car. He hadn't thought about someone being able to see where he is that way.
And when Wuxian finds him he huffs out an annoyed sigh. ]
( There's a pause of a moment where he examines his nephew's face, letting his expression be more solemn, but not severe. He so rarely does severe anyway. )
Jin Ling, it's not that place you're asking about, it's people from there... likely here too, but since they're not so fortunate as my, ah, cat and... fox self, they didn't come with you? ( Still watching him, however. ) But from another world, they're here.
( Now he's reaching out to see if Jin Ling will let him take hold of his shoulder. )
[ Jin Ling shrugs. It seemed common enough in Hell too so that doesn't exactly surprise him. When the other's questions hits the nail on the head his jaw locks a little and he looks away from him, arms crossing over his chest immediately. There's a brief falter in his expression, a deep sorrow before it's gone and he shrugs a shoulder, though not necessarily to stop the other from holding onto it. ]
( Shoulder hold initiated! Not heavy handed, but offering a squeeze, reassurance of his own kind. Watching Jin Ling is like watching the ghost of a much younger Jiang Cheng, or he supposes like the younger Jin Zixuan he'd never cared to know well. He thinks he'd have liked to know the man who married his shijie, but it was not... an opportunity he had. Not with his role in the man's death, regardless of other instigating factors setting the situation up to lead to where it flowed.
It's a painful nostalgia he smiles through, features softening. )
Don't forget the good memories just because they hurt. The things worth forgetting, they were never happy. The things that were happy, for having been lost later, are still yours. Of the many, many things your mother taught me, the fact that love can bring pain, and that love is still something precious even when it's hurt us too, that's not one I can choose to forget.
( Love in all iterations, but he says it more directly than he generally would right now. )
It hurts. I'm sorry for that. Still, aren't those memories of that precious time you had still important?
[ Jin Ling's brows are furrowed and he never quite looks directly at Wei Wuxian, his hands curling up as he tries to keep himself in check, to not cry or scream. ]
I can't love him and see them here and know I'm still alone. Not everyone gets the happy ending.
[ And Jin Ling had always known that happy endings weren't in his future and for a while Sizhui had made him believe different but then he'd abandoned Jin Ling just like everyone does. ]
I keep walking around like I can't breathe, worried I'll see his face and knowing it won't be him.
( He listens, and he sighs, tugging on Jin Ling to pull his nephew in for a hug. )
Your mother once told me that where your heart ends up isn't a choice we usually make for ourselves, but that we've loved anyone, and can feel like that, means we've had something precious. Carry those memories of the young man you loved in your heart, and learn to smile again in the face of someone who never knew you that way. You're blessed enough to still be able to see him.
( Not everyone is. )
You're not alone, Jin Ling. You're just not with people in all the ways you hoped for, and that's not fun, but it's okay, too. It's not your fault, and it's not his fault. But it means the one here is not the same person you were involved with, which... which, to me, means there's ways to get back to the one who is. He's worth that, isn't he?
[ Jin Ling tenses as the other pulls him in and he doesn't hug back but he does relax and allows the hug, his jaw tensely locked. He shakes his head, though, because he doesn't think he's blessed at all. It's another punishment from Penance in his mind. It would be easier not to see at all because he's already used to that. He knows that that hurts less than this. ]
There's not a way! He's... he'd already gone back home so he wouldn't remember either. I was already alone there because you left, Hanguang Jun left, Sizhui left and then Wen Ning left too.
[ For all Jin Ling knows the one here is the same that was in hell but just doesn't remember anything from it because he'd been sent home. ]
And I'm sorry for that, Jin Ling. No one should feel like they're left on their own.
( It's nice being the less awkward one in a hug for once, so he doesn't let go of his nephew quite yet. He can be the Jiang Cheng instead of himself, for the time being. )
But what I'd do is ask the train, because in all honesty... I do think you can get back to the young man you're missing, eventually. Just as each of us here... none of us share a world, even when we should.
( He kind of awkwardly pats his back in this hug. Hah! Achievement unlocked!
... Give him a break, it's been a long two decades. )
And have hope. Being here is already beyond expectation, ah? Why is another improbability so hard for you to believe? You're a smart young man, don't let yourself be lost to sorrow.
[ Jin Ling sighs and he shakes his head and lets the other pat his back and while he could just pull away now he stays there a little longer. No reason, no reason at all. ]
When my life is filled with loss how can you ask me to believe?
Because you're capable, and capable men don't lay down and never move forward with grief.
( Still hugging him, though he's only once stroked a hand over his hair, remembering in heartache how shijie used to do so for him, years and years ago. )
You're not the only one of us who's lived a life filled with loss. Have you really had no gains? No happinesses? I can't believe that, either, from Fairy ( please don't make him deal with the dog, please ) to your friends, to Jiang Cheng.
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( Says this upbeat and certainly is not smiling by the time he flicks off the display where he is and heads after Jin Ling, based on what he saw of his surroundings.
Which means if Jin Ling isn't purposefully bent on evading him, he has one uncle popping in on him, looking amiable but concerned. )
Jin Ling, the things you want to forget, or the people, was from a world before this abducting train?
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And when Wuxian finds him he huffs out an annoyed sigh. ]
Yes. I was somewhere else.
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( There's a pause of a moment where he examines his nephew's face, letting his expression be more solemn, but not severe. He so rarely does severe anyway. )
Jin Ling, it's not that place you're asking about, it's people from there... likely here too, but since they're not so fortunate as my, ah, cat and... fox self, they didn't come with you? ( Still watching him, however. ) But from another world, they're here.
( Now he's reaching out to see if Jin Ling will let him take hold of his shoulder. )
Is it something like that?
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Maybe.
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It's a painful nostalgia he smiles through, features softening. )
Don't forget the good memories just because they hurt. The things worth forgetting, they were never happy. The things that were happy, for having been lost later, are still yours. Of the many, many things your mother taught me, the fact that love can bring pain, and that love is still something precious even when it's hurt us too, that's not one I can choose to forget.
( Love in all iterations, but he says it more directly than he generally would right now. )
It hurts. I'm sorry for that. Still, aren't those memories of that precious time you had still important?
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[ Jin Ling's brows are furrowed and he never quite looks directly at Wei Wuxian, his hands curling up as he tries to keep himself in check, to not cry or scream. ]
I can't love him and see them here and know I'm still alone. Not everyone gets the happy ending.
[ And Jin Ling had always known that happy endings weren't in his future and for a while Sizhui had made him believe different but then he'd abandoned Jin Ling just like everyone does. ]
I keep walking around like I can't breathe, worried I'll see his face and knowing it won't be him.
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Your mother once told me that where your heart ends up isn't a choice we usually make for ourselves, but that we've loved anyone, and can feel like that, means we've had something precious. Carry those memories of the young man you loved in your heart, and learn to smile again in the face of someone who never knew you that way. You're blessed enough to still be able to see him.
( Not everyone is. )
You're not alone, Jin Ling. You're just not with people in all the ways you hoped for, and that's not fun, but it's okay, too. It's not your fault, and it's not his fault. But it means the one here is not the same person you were involved with, which... which, to me, means there's ways to get back to the one who is. He's worth that, isn't he?
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There's not a way! He's... he'd already gone back home so he wouldn't remember either. I was already alone there because you left, Hanguang Jun left, Sizhui left and then Wen Ning left too.
[ For all Jin Ling knows the one here is the same that was in hell but just doesn't remember anything from it because he'd been sent home. ]
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( It's nice being the less awkward one in a hug for once, so he doesn't let go of his nephew quite yet. He can be the Jiang Cheng instead of himself, for the time being. )
But what I'd do is ask the train, because in all honesty... I do think you can get back to the young man you're missing, eventually. Just as each of us here... none of us share a world, even when we should.
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[ Jin Ling mumbles. He'd gotten used to it in Hell, being on his own with the people he'd trusted gone. It's fine. ]
What's the point? I don't think it could do anything to help.
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( He kind of awkwardly pats his back in this hug. Hah! Achievement unlocked!
... Give him a break, it's been a long two decades. )
And have hope. Being here is already beyond expectation, ah? Why is another improbability so hard for you to believe? You're a smart young man, don't let yourself be lost to sorrow.
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When my life is filled with loss how can you ask me to believe?
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( Still hugging him, though he's only once stroked a hand over his hair, remembering in heartache how shijie used to do so for him, years and years ago. )
You're not the only one of us who's lived a life filled with loss. Have you really had no gains? No happinesses? I can't believe that, either, from Fairy ( please don't make him deal with the dog, please ) to your friends, to Jiang Cheng.