This... is a very young age to have to deal with all of that.
But as to your question, there are several aspects to it.
The first part is that you were misled about what was going to happen, so rather than choosing it, it was chosen for you. So the responsibility for the choice is not entirely yours.
The more important part is what you do with it. I have seen the proper and 'rightful' powers be used to cause harm, and I have seen the deviant and 'wrong' powers be used to protect and shelter and nurture, both by people using the powers or those, like you, affected by them.
It is not wrong to want to live. Even less so when it is not at the cost of causing harm to others.
video;
But as to your question, there are several aspects to it.
The first part is that you were misled about what was going to happen, so rather than choosing it, it was chosen for you. So the responsibility for the choice is not entirely yours.
The more important part is what you do with it. I have seen the proper and 'rightful' powers be used to cause harm, and I have seen the deviant and 'wrong' powers be used to protect and shelter and nurture, both by people using the powers or those, like you, affected by them.
It is not wrong to want to live. Even less so when it is not at the cost of causing harm to others.