voidtreckernet | who am i: jelly 17 (cw: mentions of death/identity/spoilers)

[ Scene: Mami in the greenhouse, with a fluffy leaf-green hedgehog on her shoulder. ]

Hi everyone...

I wanted to let you know about something more serious. It's about who...or what I am. So this doesn't surprise you later. I guess some of you already knew I wasn't quite what I appeared to be, but I'm still processing it.

I used to watch shows about magical girls when I was younger. If you've never seen those shows before, they're about girls with magic who use some kind of gem to change into cute battle outfits, have animal friends to mentor them, other magical friends to fight alongside...and love and justice always won out. I used to dream about what it would be like to become one, though I was sure it wasn't real.

And then, when I least expected it, it happened. I was heavily wounded after a car crash, and a cute animal appeared to me. He promised me any wish I wanted as long as I agreed to become a magical girl and fight witches who trap and kill humans. So I wished to keep living...and became what I am now.

I thought I was just a regular magical girl like the ones on TV. But it turns out I'm a lich. Revenant. Undead. He ripped my soul out of my body and put it in a gem...I know that's usually dark magic. I've been reassured that I'm safe for you all to be around, Rosetta helps keep my soul gem safe. But it just feels strange, that I've been like this for a while...is all. Any advice on living with it would be appreciated.

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Mami listens patiently, and the strange fog that had overtaken her thoughts starts to lift. She looks again at the lantern, then at Soldat...then at the cookie. Another nibble. It's nostalgic, and reminds her of the love for life she still has.

"Hm...all of you? What was that place like?"

I hope that's true for me too. And that they'll forgive me, but...that's okay. Seeing them would be enough.

Thank you.

Okay. I promise. I'll look out for you too.

[She squeezes once before letting go. It's good to have a purpose, to not be alone. ]

Here in the greenhouse is fine. Rosetta and I aren't going anywhere.

[And indeed she doesn't go anywhere. The small hedgehog continues to sniff around the grass, but she doesn't wander too far. ]

Yeah... A lot of people at home believe that all ghosts are evil. But they're not. I've met a lot of full ghosts,and a lot of them are great people.

[Another frown.]

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I found out that being part ghost or part dead, whatever you call it. It turned out to not be nearly as scary as I thought it was first. It even has a lot of benefits. Like flying.

Well- yeah. I mean, given what you described anyone would be. [Now what was something encouraging she could say?] Least you've got your friend here to depend on. That's something. Is- she the one that told you about all this? Is that why it's such a revelation now?

[Growing silent again as she searched for something else to add] Sure it can. I mean this whole traveling the galaxy by train is definitely something straight off of television.

I know- things must seem pretty bleak right now, but since you're here you might have a chance to set things right or take things in a different direction. Flip the script.

Good. ...mm. That sounds kind of funny, at least.

"I got them back, but... I don't think I was supposed to. It was a weird situation even for that. ... Anyway." He gives her a small smile. ... He's getting better at these.

"... You're not alone here. There's other people who can help if you need."

"Dark," Soldat says. "The whole world was dead. Most of the people there were spirits, not-- like us, with the lanterns, the actual dead. They didn't look human. Many of them were friendly, once we proved ourselves. Some of them weren't."

I'm not busy right now, so if you want, I could meet you in the quiet car when you're done talking to everybody else who replied. Unless there's somewhere else you'd rather meet, of course.

[He figures she'll want some privacy to talk about this kind of thing, but he's willing to meet wherever she's most comfortable.]

Some of us too eagerly embraced the darkness which made us into what we are. Others lost sight of who we were, as we Nobodies begin our tenuous pseudo-existences devoid of feelings...it becomes far too easy to follow our cruelest whims, lacking the ability to regret our actions. Still others became so desperate to reclaim what we had lost as to harm countless others in pursuit of that goal.

Only the first seems potentially a problem, in your circumstance. But darkness need not be a problem in and of itself, so long as you don't allow it to overwhelm you.

[ Forgive her? For getting hit by a train? (He misunderstands the usage of "car" here and "car" on the train.) ]

You're welcome.

Yeah, I think it's better if I tell you somewhere else... it's just a long story.

[It's not that he doesn't trust people here. He just doesn't want to broadcast his whole sob sorry to the train.]

I'll be there in a few minutes. I'm just in the music car.

[Which means he's got a guitar slung over his shoulder when he finally arrives at the greenhouse. Whoops. He should probably bite the bullet and request his old axe from the train already.

No point in worrying about that now, though. He raises a hand to wave as he sees the girl from the network.]

Hey. Uh, I'm Rich, the guy you were talking to.

[Alfredo looks a little more relaxed, now. Now that he's sure she's heard him out.]

Now... who is that, on your shoulder? I haven't missed something, have I?

[On the one hand, he's only ~~twelve~~ thirteen, and he can't be everywhere.

On the other, perhaps focusing on something else would help the both of them... that, and the little hedgehog-type creature is cute.]

I'm sure you can do it, Mami-chan. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Better than the garden probably. I'll be there shortly.

[So Raven cuts the feed, and proceeds to make her way to the greenhouse car. It's not far really, so it does not take long. Nor does it take long to find Mami.]

Naw, most of my peers do the same sort of thing. But even so, I have a purpose and a goal, and I'm not ever going to give it up! So get yourself the same thing.

You don't have to change that if you don't want to. You still have the power to make decisions. The fact that you want to help people is...pretty amazing, I think.

And I can get that it's hard...but just remember that you're not alone, okay? You've got friends here.

It is all right to be a little scared, when something is so different, and so dangerous. It is all right to be confused, too, or unsure.

Remember that you are still you. I have no doubt that you will continue doing your best. That is enough. And remember - being kind to yourself is allowed, too.

Thank you. You're very kind too. I think...if I just focus on how I can help, it'll be all right.

I guess that's true! I heard there was a show about a train like this one in the cinema car, actually. Maybe I should watch it.

And...thank you. I think I'll try to do that.

Hi Rich. It's good to meet you.

[ She shifts to make room for him. ]

So what's your story that led you here?

Thank you. I'm sure I'll see you very soon.

It is! I just don't want to ruin anyone's crops, you know? One second she's sniffing a berry tree, the next it's overtaking the bonsai.

At least she's healthy though, right?

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who am i: jelly 17 (cw: mentions of death/identity/spoilers)

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