voidtreckernet | Following that other one... [video]

[ Curufin is here with blankets and his flute. This situation brings up all sorts of emotions and memories for him, too. Speaking of kinslayers!]

Father, how are you?

[Fëanor does not want to answer but this is his son. This is Curufin. He deserves an answer.]

I don't know. I should be asking you the same question.

[He shakes his head. Great were his crimes...]

He should be punished. But not like this. Not like this.

[ Curufin can well understand that his father might not want to talk about this. He feels the same way, and yet. . . this is the road he set out on, all those many years ago in the hour when he knew he was dying. This is the road his whole heart is committed to. ]

Yes, you should be asking me the same question. I'm. . . not fine. All of this reminds me of my past, and of how difficult it was to find a new path. You remember the effect of the Oath. Do you know it got worse after you died? If I haven't told you of this, I'm sure Maedhros or Maglor or Mother has. Celegorm and I tried to take Finrod's kingdom of Nargothrond from him, and we almost succeeded. We sent him to his death on the Isle of Werewolves. My own cousin, with whom I once had a friendship. And when I and my brothers attacked Doriath, we killed everyone who got in our way, whether it was because they had drawn blade against us or just because they couldn't run away fast enough. I can't swear that I never killed a fifteen-year-old, or the Elvish equivalent.

And still, I know that in order to turn from such a path, it takes a great infusion of knowledge and consciousness. That kind of revelation doesn't come easily. I don't believe that execution or torture helps.

[Fëanor looks away. Oh, he knows...he saw it countless times. The images of blood and death so vivid they seemed more real than his own memories.]

They didn't have to tell me. I ... was shown most of what happened during my confinement in the Halls. The worst parts of it at least. So, as I was told, I'll be aware of the consequences of my actions. I don't know what they were trying to achieve but it didn't work.

[He pauses. There's one question he wants to ask, that he wanted to ask all of them, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It's so much easier to keep to the supposed topic of their conversation.]

I doubt what this Wester person did will work either.

[ Curufin just shakes his head. ]

The Valar have the reputation for being wise, but my opinion is that since they had never been in charge of a universe before, they were just improvising. Eru was kind of judgmental, so I guess they thought they should be, too. Well, they didn't understand Elves, that's for sure. I'm sorry they thought that seeing your sons kill and die for the Oath would somehow teach you to regret your own actions. That was cruel on their part, whether they knew it or not.

[ If Fëanor has a question to ask Curufin, he can ask it. If he wants to ask Wester and all the people who have chimed in on the conversation at one time or another, then good luck! ]

What Wester did will not work. [ He sounds very certain about this. ] When Xue Yang first arrived here, I tried to befriend him. I still don't know him well, but I do know that he is stubborn in his convictions. . . a bit like us, actually. And that he has a great deal of darkness in his being. Like me. I wanted to help him, since I know that genuine support matters a great deal, if a person is to decide to make a change. I did my best, but he killed Qing and I didn't even know it at the time. I haven't given up, though. I won't give up.

[His son's words make Fëanor smile a little. Improvising... That's probably best description.]

The reputation they themselves were the sole source of. A little too convenient. [He shrugs. Does it even matter now? ] I always thought they cared more about the world they made than they did about us. [As all artists do, he's aware of that. He could understand if only they didn't try to pretend to be infallible and all-knowing.

Still, he welcomes the change of topic.]

I spoke with him briefly once. [How odd it now seems that what they talked about were swords.] I cannot say he made an impression of the most cheerful person. [He smiles again. Yes, a bit like us.] But he didn't seem evil to me. [Not that Fëanor considers himself an excellent judge of character. Not anymore.] If there's one thing I want to know, it would be why.

[ Curufin smiles back, thinking that his father probably thought of all that years before Curufin did. They were that close in intelligence and sensibility. ]

True. [ Snort of laughter.] They did seem to want us to see them as all-seeing and invariably right about everything. I think. . . maybe you're right, again. The Valar cared about the world, but they saw us only as junior guardsmen of it, and as the future teachers of the Secondborn. You know what always scared me? It's that there was barely any mention of us in the sages' tales of the Last Battle that will be fought at the end of Time. When the Earth is broken and remade, the Dwarves will have a place in the remaking, but what of the Elves? It merely says, that our "purpose will be fulfilled." What does that mean? is that an epitaph??? Our purpose is done, so we just fall into oblivion?

As for Xue Yang, I'm glad you've spoken with him, and I agree with you, again! He isn't a cheerful person. He isn't inherently evil, but he's very troubled. He admitted to me that he had done some terrible things, or gave me just enough information so that I could see that he was implying that. I want to know why he killed Qing, too. He seemed to be concerned that there were people here from his own world that might want to kill him in revenge, but I don't see Qing as one who might be a danger to him. Why her?

I am as suspicious of those tales as I am of those that extoll the Valar as all-knowing and all-powerful. We are the Firstborn of Eru, we won't be reduced to a footnote in someone else's story. I doubt He would discard us as someone discards a mere tool he no longer has a use for.
What seems more plausible to me is that the part we are destined for, our role, is not something the Valar liked so they chose not to speak of it. They might have wanted us reduced to servants for the frail creatures that came after us but I would not believe this is truly our destined purpose.

[There's no love for the Powers of Arda in him but even he doesn't know which parts of his doubts and suspicion are his own and which are the result of poison the Enemy was spreading among his kin for so long. Yet there's one thing he knows with the fierce certainty, they had all the right to feel proud as the Firstborn. They still do.]

I see no sense in this action but then I know near to nothing of him. Or her. Even if he truly committed crimes against those people I can hardly imagine how anyone could thing a helpless child be the one to exact vengeance for those crimes and thus be a threat enough to strike at her first. It just doesn't make sense at all.

[ Curufin nods emphatically. ] We are the Firstborn, and our hearts are entwined with the heart of the Earth. We surely deserve better than to be relegated to a minor part in the play and then to be discarded like rubbish. Your idea about the Valar choosing not to speak of our role in the later days because they did not like it, well, now that you mention it, that seems plausible to me, too. They may know our real destiny, but perhaps they didn't want us to know. I hope that purpose is a better one than the stories suggest. I really hope so.

[ Curufin does not love the Valar either, but he has at least spoken to a few of them since his death, in the first of the worlds he lived in other than his own. Some of the Valar were there. His connection with them was friendly enough, but such contact actually verified his theories, that the Valar were limited in their understanding of the Elves and even of their own purpose in Eru's universe. He could not see them as infallible gods. ]

As for Xue Yang, I plan to spend time with him, as I've said. I'd like to see if he will tell me anything of his motives. I don't understand, either. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian had something to do with his death, I think. But he did not attack them, he attacked Qing. It makes no sense to me, either.

[ Getting tired of these serious subjects, and there are amusing things to do right now that might lighten their hearts. ]

Say, Father, do you want to help me build a couch fort? That might be fun. [ Bright smile. ]

[It is no secret that Fëanor can be easily won over to whatever plan his favourite son has come up with.]

Why, yes! What do you plan to fortify against?

Following that other one... [video]

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one geological age later....

Oh look, the dinosaurs have gone extinct! And don't worry, I'm late on all my tags these days too.

oh no.... what we're going to do without the dinosaurs?

We'll have to make plastic models of them and put them on our windowsills and kitchen tables. XD

It's a good plan, I'm in.

Plastic dinosaurs, whoohoo!

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