VIDEO-ish (cw: torture and murder)

[bloomingdespite]

[Before the ICP flickers on, every passenger hears a resounding, deep voice thunder through every car in the train, carrying with it a deathly—if odd—proclamation:]

PENALTY GAME: HELL REVERSE!

[Moments later, every ICP turns on to reveal a figure shrouded in shadows, holding the unconscious body of Xue Yang with one hand as the Eye of Wdjat blazes on both of their foreheads. It's clear they're in the gaming car, but if anybody tries to enter from either end, they'll find the doors are impossibly locked.]

Passengers of the Voidtrecker Express, I hold in my hands an unrepentant murderer who slaughtered one of your very own: the victim being A-Qing, and the criminal being Xue Yang. While she has returned, this crime cannot go unpunished, and I have taken it upon myself to try and burn out the stain on his soul—or, at the very least, provide adequate agony for all of his victims, both on the train and off.

If you need to see proof of my justice...

Avert your eyes if you do not wish to see memories of the brutal death of a young woman in her prime.

[The screen flickers once again, this time showing A-Qing's murder, although it doesn't have any audio. ((OOC: Additional CW for graphic depictions of murder.))

When it returns to the interior of the Games Car, the shadowy figure is gone, but their voice and Xue Yang remain.]

I leave it to the council to dispense their own punishment, as meager as it may be.

Remember, passengers:

I am watching.

[The ICP clicks off, and the train is deadly quiet.]

Comments

action;

[irrationally]

(for allen)

[ Honestly, the video is one thing. Alice isn't easily bothered or disturbed - and honestly, if that guy killed a poor girl, then he deserves it.

But it's the fact that other people can see this too who are easily disturbed. It only takes hearing the younger Alice's reply over the ICPs for the older Alice's blood to start boiling. No one scares the younger version of her like that and gets away with it.

Except there's the problem that she doesn't know where to find the person who did it. But whatever. Alice isn't rational. She has to do something, and so she immediately summons her knife, gripping it so hard her knuckles turn white.

Someone has to pay.

She's definitely not looking all too much put together as she walks through the train. ]

(for xander)

[ Thankfully she's at least calmed down some after her conversation with Allen. Emphasis on some. She's still so jittery. This still doesn't sit right with her. She still wants to do something, but just doesn't know what. She has so much pent up energy and no outlet for it.

But one thing she does know. She has to check up on the people important to her right now. Before more happens. Before they get more upset, or even harmed somehow.

Sure, her younger self is one of those people, but there's one more person. One idiot who's always smiling - there's no way he'd be able to handle something like this with his stupidly good heart.

So Alice immediately moves through the train, not even bothering with walking regularly as she's looking for Xander everywhere. His room, the greenhouse, wherever. She won't stop running until she finds him. ]

[mynameisallen]

[Allen had seen the video. He didn't see the point in showing them that at all. For what purpose? Except to just cause panic and worry and potentially someone else wanting to cause whoever done it serious harm in a case of never-ending vengeance.

His biggest concern however was those he knew and how they would react. He knew for certain Alice at least would do something so he sent Timcampy ahead to search her out, following behind. After all, it would be much harder to find her without his guide.

When he finally spotted her he could see the knife. He knew full well that that could mean as he rushed over.]

Alice. What are you planning?

[irrationally]

[ Allen really is a smart guy. Or he's at the very least smart when it comes to Alice, because yes, of course she's going to do something after witnessing that. And it's probably enough to tell that she's in a very strange mood by the sheer fact that she isn't cooing all over Timcampy the moment she sees the creature.

No, it's like she doesn't even notice the way it's trailing her. Alice has an utter one mind track now, and there's no room for distractions in that.

.. Although distractions are a lot harder to ignore when they rush over to you and actually talk. And no matter how murderous Alice may feel right now, there's still no way she can completely ignore someone she considers a friend. ]

Isn't it obvious? I'm going to find whoever did this and end them.

[mynameisallen]

[That... was honestly to be expected. to be fair he wouldn't be surprised if most of the train would want to do something be it hurting or killing as Alice's case may be. But Allen being the way he was, was that one of those people.

Instead, he moved to he could get in her way as much as possible. If he had to he would figure to use some force if necessary, but he hoped he didn't have to use his innocence to for the most part tie someone up so they couldn't do anything too bad.]

And what would that solve exactly? It would just make people even more scared in such a small space. It won't solve anything. It's just needless violence that will just keep escalating.

[irrationally]

[ It says a lot about how much Alice cares about Allen that she actually stops walking for a moment when he gets in her way. She may look weak, but she's definitely stronger than she is, and if it had been one of many other people she would really just have shoved them aside at this point and continued to look for the culprit.

But it's Allen. He's been nice to her. Listened to her. So she actually stops, even though Alice still looks very much agitated. The knife is at her side, though she doesn't seem to make any motion to attack Allen whatsoever. ]

Then what are we supposed to do, Allen?! Are we meant to just sit around, waiting until that mysterious figure decides it's our turn to get tortured? I'm not a good person either, you know. Would you be saying the same thing right now if it was me being punished like that for my crimes?!

[mynameisallen]

The obvious is capture and detain. Believe me, that is usually people's first thing to do with someone who is considered a danger. People have seen this so wouldn't be surprised if people were doing that now.

[Allen probably would look himself really, he has his ways of dealing with someone without using violence.]

As for your second answer. I would be mad, I am mad now, but would I go for violence. No. I prefer trying to find other ways even if they are my most hated enemy. Believe me, my second innocence form is the way it is because of that thought.

[irrationally]

I don't care about what others do. This is my way.

[ After all, it's been how she's dealt with all her problems. Because there's never been another way but violence. She certainly couldn't have talked with any of the monsters in Wonderland - and the thought of Bumby ever facing whatever punishment he should have gotten through the terrible justice system in London is laughable. No one would have believed he if she had publically exposed him. ]

There's not even a place to detain anyone here! We're on a train, we don't have a jail. [ And who'd just want to sit around all day and watch someone to make sure they aren't going anywhere? Alice can't imagine anyone on the train offering themselves up for that. ] There's no other way for us to deal with this, surely you must realise that as well. It's either that person or all of us!

[mynameisallen]

That and the fact people get put back in beds the next day, I get it there will never be a perfect system. [Heck even at home it was really shitty how they did things when it came to him.]

But at the same time, the whole kill them or they will kill us mentality is even worse. That doesn't fix anything and in reality, means they are no better than the vigilant or the murderer.

[irrationally]

Exactly. That's why I'll do it. I'm already no better than either of them!

[ And that's not just something she's saying for argument's sake. Her voice sounds so firm as she says it because it's something she actually really does believe. She knows she isn't a good person. That's why she doesn't mind doing the dirty work. ]

Now get out of my way, Allen. [ There doesn't seem to be anything hostile towards him in her voice, at least. In some other cases that kind of statement definitely would have come with a threat of violence, but Alice's knife is still just resting at her side. She's making no motion to raise it.

For all her determined anger right now, she doesn't want to hurt Allen. She can't even being to think of it. ]

[mynameisallen]

[He doesn't take what one has done back home to heart, mostly because back home he was considered a tractor even though in reality he left because it was safer than he did. He never betrayed them and still believed he was an exorcist no matter what.

He had friends who believed in him at least and he felt like here it should be the same.]

I won't move, I don't care what you were like at home, but here you are far better than either one of them here. So much better.

[irrationally]

[ Oh god. Why does Allen have to say that of all things right now? Alice's mind is so one-track focused on the idea of getting rid of whoever scared the people important to her that Allen's sudden reassurance about her completely catches her off guard. Her breath feels like it's stuck inside of her throat for a second.

When she does manage to suck in a breath again, it sounds weirdly shakey, making it obvious she's at least been thrown off kilter by what he said. ]

How.. How do you know?

[ He's never seen any of her ugly sides. Because she tries so, so hard to hide those here. Because she doesn't want the people she's found she actually likes here to dislike her for them.

But she knows they're there. She knows what she's really like. And it's ugly. It's not good. ]

How do you even know what I'm like?!

[mynameisallen]

[How do you know? Well, that was always a good question to ask. How did he know? The honest truth was he didn't. Not at all. But from their talks he feels as if there is a lot more to the other that people don't see and that she shows off just one side of herself for a reason.]

You really want to know how? I don't. But that is how much faith I have in you to know you can do better even if others might judge you or agree with that statement it doesn't mean it's the truth either.

[Considering how he had always been treated because of his hand, the way he was treated when it was discovered that he had the memories of the 14th. They didn't understand him, they just saw these other things and he was treated a certain way because of it.

He didn't want to be that person, he wanted to try and help.]

At the end of the day, I believe that you are better because you're my friend and I would make sure you didn't. [And that was when it clicked for a moment. Remembering back to a timer when he yelled at Lenalee and she slapped him stating she stopped him because they were friends.

It was the same here? And it was enough to cause a bit of a chuckle.]

I guess I can at least understand why friends do look out for each other now.

[irrationally]

[ For a moment it looks as if she's just about to shove him aside and carry on all the same.

But then the tension fades, Alice's shoulders sagging. She lets out a breath, and it's hard to tell what exactly it sounds like - exasperated? angry? exhausted? There's a little bit of everything in it. ]

Is this truly the right time for that realisation?

[ When she's threatening to murder someone? Then again, that's so much like Allen. Somehow finding something sappy in the middle of a moment like this. It ruins Alice's angry mood just enough for the initial murder instinct to fade, though she's still angry. It shows in how she frowns and looks kind of uncomfortable as she continues. ]

Allen, I.. want to be the person you think I am. Someone better than who I am now. But I.. I don't think I can be. [ Despite her saying that, the knife fades into nothingness again from her hand. She's exposing herself by saying it like this, making herself vulnerable, but if there's anyone she trusts with it, it's Allen.

No matter how much of a sappy idiot he is. ]

I just can't feel comfortable with the idea of the figure who made that broadcast running around among us on the train. There is no way they would stop at just this.

you are cast out from the heavens to the ground

[emerald_mirror]

[Well, at least he's predictable. He's not in his room, and for Xander, that's sort of ominous, but there's one other place she can find him.

There is a new plant in the greenhouse car--except it's not a plant, it's the nephilim, crouched over in a corner (though not Fandaniel's altar spot). He's doing his best to hide, and huddling over Cottonball protectively. Tears are rolling down his face, rubbing his cheek against the bat and soaking her fur. It's clear that she's unhappy about...something, but the real question is if it's because she's getting wet, or if it's because her mage is upset...

Usually he realizes when there's another presence, but at the moment, Xander does not. That isn't really a good sign...]

[irrationally]

[ If she wasn't actively trying to look for him, she might just have accidentally looked over him - his wings do rather blend into the backdrop here, after all. But as hyperaware as she is of his presence right now, it's impossible to miss him.

And it's impossible to miss the fact that he's crying when she's stepping closer. It's not exactly a full on surprise.. Xander is always so nice. How would he be able to bear witnessing a young girl getting killed? Not to mention that he'd be able to sense everyone's emotions of fear and anger and sadness right now. All of this has to be so hard for him. Hard enough to actually make him sob like that.

It's awful. No one should be allowed to do this to him. Xander is so nice, much too nice. Alice has to try and calm herself down for a moment before she fully approached, since she's pretty sure feeling intense murderous intent out of the blue won't exactly make Xander feel any better, no matter how much she wants to wring the neck of the person who caused all this, who caused Xander to lose his wonderful smile right now.

It's hard with how worked up she is, but she manages to at least swallow down the anger for now. It leaves faint traces of guilt - because she couldn't prevent him from having to witness it - and mostly just a lot of worry about him in its wake.

She wants to make this alright. Even though Alice doesn't know if she can. She's only ever destroyed, never healed. Could she make him feel better again? Would her presence just make things worse?

It makes the way she reaches out to him hesitant, but in the end her hand does gently land on his shoulder, trying to not startle him too much. ]

Xander..

[emerald_mirror]

It's not your fault! [Clearly Xander had felt that guilt, at the very least, to blurt that out the way he does. He sets Cottonball down--the bat promptly flops and rolls in the grass, shaking herself off. She's attempting to dry herself from the deluge she's endured. Normally, Xander would never ever take such a liberty with Alice, but after she touches his shoulder, he turns to hug her waist, still on his knees.]

I'm not upset at you. Just at the people who made you feel this way. [And, yes, of course he's upset by all the rest too. Seeing Qing's murder. Feeling what Xue Yang was, and the entire rest of the train. He had mental shields, but they could only stand up to so much pressure. Eventually, his had popped like a soap bubble in sunshine.] Like you can't help. Like you don't help just by coming to find me.

[When he knows that her first impression to things isn't 'let me help', precisely, but 'who do I need to kill?' And even with those impulses, here she is. Trying to help. And trying to help him. He's told her she's better than she thinks she is, Xander has, and if he needs any evidence to back up his convictions? Well. Here it is.]

[irrationally]

[ If there's anything Xander is, it's consistently unpredictable. Not that Alice is particularly sure what kind of reaction to expect from him at a moment like this, but she didn't quite expect her calling out to him and trying to gently touch him to be reciprocated with him outright hugging her waist.

Let alone all those things he's saying. If witnessing him crying was painful, then this is more just downright confusing. Why is this suddenly about her? She knows Xander can feel her feelings, but really, she so does not want this to be about her right now!

Alice takes a deep breath, needing a moment to straighten things out in her mind. It's particularly tough today with how worked up everything has made her, but she's making a real effort here. The last thing she wants to do is only make him cry more.

After that moment she gently pries his hands off her, but it's only so she can move to kneel down on the ground and just regularly hug him. It's slightly terrifying, so much physical contact, but if he hugged without warning, surely he needs it. And at least this way it's a whole lot less awkward than letting him hang off her waist like that. ]

Xander, I.. I know it isn't my fault. [ Though she does worry about making it worse, but still.. ] This isn't about me.

[ She holds him a bit more tightly.

She can feel her arms shake as she does. With worry, with fear, with anger - everything is just too much right now, even as she really desperately attempts to calm herself for Xander's sake. ]

I'm worried about you. I can't forgive them for upsetting you like this...

[emerald_mirror]

I just need... [Well. He's not sure of all the things he might need, but at least here, and for now, the greenhouse car is fairly quiet, save for their conversation. That in and of itself helps. Alice isn't a threat. Alice isn't going to hurt him. Other people might, that's been made clear, but she can be trusted.]

I need to rebuild my shields, first, probably. [Might be a good thing for her that he lets her go, now, to almost comically flop down onto the ground and sit crosslegged, planting his hands not on his knees, but on the soil of the greenhouse car, and breathing deeply. Closing his eyes. He can, at least, explain what's going on--he's calmed down enough for that.]

The mental ones will take a bit longer, but I'm sure my physical shields are shot, too, so...ground and center, first. [Though he's already working on that, and it really doesn't look like anything to someone without magic. The next part, however, is a bit more visible, as a shimmer of yellow light envelops him briefly, then brightens steadily.] Mom and Carlson always taught Alex and I to layer our shields. I can only use Earth magic, but Alex might manage to use fire someday. Fire elementals give us their attention, but we can't command them like we could Earth. Still, it's always better to treat them like friends, not servants. Not that there are any elementals out here, but once we get to a world, well.

[It might be something of a distraction for them both, but it's probably better that than let Alice get distracted by her anger. Xander knows he isn't okay, but he's getting closer to that state of mind...]

[irrationally]

[ Alice can't help but feel instinctive worry the moment he lets go of her. No matter how much she's still trying to get used to physical contact, she really doesn't want to let go of him right now. Not with the current state of things. There's someone out there preying on fellow passengers of the train, and although they said they were only going after those that deserve it, Alice knows better than to trust anyone's word.

And she at least has to protect Xander from worse. He's already so upset. She can't let him get actually injured on top of it, or worse, or--

She's so lost in her own thoughts that she doesn't even realise the guy is talking to her until he's already halfway through his explanation. And said explanation is kind of hard to follow - although that might just be since Alice's mind is on at least fifty other things at the moment. There's not much capacity left to understand the intricacies of another world's magic.

Alice takes in a deep, uneven breath and pinches her earlobes with her long nails to try and regain some focus. (Thankfully not hard enough to draw blood, but it's not far off.) It's not helping much. Her head feels like it's swimming against the current. ]

I will.. stay here with you. Until they are fixed.

[ Not that she knows what that specifically entails, or how long it will take, but.. it's not like she would do anything but worry about him anyway even if she would go somewhere else right now, so she may as well stay in place. ]

[emerald_mirror]

[Really, if he'd had enough time to think about it all coherently? Xander would be worried that this...individual would be coming after her. He knows she doesn't think much of herself and hasn't been the most upstanding citizen, as it goes. What if this crazy dude comes after her? It might come to him later, and...well, if it does, that won't be a good thing. In truth, he'll probably panic...

At least for now, he's distracted.]

Well, halfway there, really. [Xander gives her a sheepish grin at that, lifting one shoulder to shrug halfheartedly.] You weren't thinking of hunting them down and stabbing them, were you?

[He means it as a joke, but Xander does realize that if she answers...Alice will probably be completely honest. It kind of worries him, really, but she just said she'd stay here with him until he fixed his shields. Well, the physical ones, anyway. The mental will take longer--the nature of that particular beast--and he's not going to make her stay with him for that long. He also knows Glorfindel's mere presence will help, so that's a good thing.]

I'm...I'm glad you came to look for me, and found me. It is helping, Alice. Thank you. [He'd reach out to her, but he's unstable at best, and Xander's pretty sure she's not in the best head space either. Better to err on the side of caution, right now...]

[irrationally]

.. I'm glad it's helping.

[ Despite the small pause, and the oddly quiet way she says it, Alice means it. Probably so much more than is actually evident. It doesn't feel very much like she's helping, but if Xander says she is, then there's got to be at least some core of truth to that, right? Maybe she can do something good after all. Something that doesn't involve hurting or destroying anything.

She sucks a breath in, trying to calm herself down as well - and still failing to fully get there - before sitting down. A small distance away from him, of course, since she doesn't want to interfere with what Xander is doing here. ]

But.. of course I was thinking of exactly that. [ She doesn't want to lie. Even though being honest is kind of terrifying. She's afraid Xander might finally see her for what she really is and decide he no longer wants to have anything to do with her anymore. But lying would be even worse and she knows it. ] I don't care whether or not that person decides to dole out their own justice. But they hurt you. They hurt Alice. I can't forgive that figure for either of those things.

[emerald_mirror]

[It takes a moment for Alice's words to register, but when they do, he glances over at her, wide-eyed with shock. That's the overwhelming emotion, but Xander clenches his teeth for a moment, brows drawing down.]

They hurt little Alice, too?

[He takes a breath, then, trying to clear his head. He knows how Alice usually reacts at this sort of thing. For him, a little, and he lets that go. But she's very protective of her younger self--understandably. And this sort of thing is unforgivable, for her.]

...don't take this as a suggestion, Alice, but...I'd think seriously about shanking them myself, for that. If I thought something like that would actually help, though? I don't think I'd stop you.

[How's that grab you, Alice? Xander's still frowning, though.] I try not to weaponize my empathy much, though I know how...and even that's a thought. But I don't want to make things worse, either. For anyone. Or myself, and I kinda feel like that'd be putting a target on my butt, you know?

[This whole fiasco has left a bad taste in his mouth.]

[irrationally]

[ There's clear surprise visible on her face when he says that. I'd think seriously about shanking them myself. I don't think I'd stop you.

It's unexpected, considering how much Xander seems like an endless force of good to her. Then again, maybe you just start to view someone like that by default when you feel like such a pit of darkness that's only illuminated whenever he smiles like a dumb, oblivious puppy when he's around her. Not that it's a bad thing that he has that kind of side to him - if anything, it makes her feel a little less bad about her anger.

But then there's those last words, and those immediately distract her mind. ]

It doesn't matter if you'd have a target. I don't think you understand.

[ She takes a step closer, then another, covering the distance she was so carefully keeping. A hand reaches out to touch his shoulder. ]

I-- I will kill anyone who does as much as think of hurting you. I'll wipe them out of existence. I'll..

[ Alice cuts herself off, suddenly releasing her hold on him as if she's burned herself, stumbling back a step and letting out a miserable breath. ]

Sorry. I..

[ That was too far. Even though he agrees with her desire to get those people for what they've done, that reaction felt a little too extreme. Too raw. It hits just a little too hard upon the fear of him realising just how awful she is.

She buries her face in her hands. ]

.. I am such a mess.

[emerald_mirror]

[No, no, that's not good. Normally Xander would never, ever overstep himself, but now? He reaches for Alice to wrap arms and wings around her to hug her, petting her hair gently.]

Maybe you are, but you didn't ask to be. Someone else did this to you and you're trying hard to take yourself back. I see that. There's good in you still. You care so much! About a lot of people.

[Not just about him, but him too...]

It's easy to say you're bad or a mess, but there's a lot of good about you too. You want to protect people. If you do things that hurt others, it's because they did things that weren't right. I know two wrongs don't make a right, necessarily, either. But sometimes, there's no other way.

[He doesn't want it to be too much, that hug, so he backs off to look at Alice.] Maybe I don't understand. You're right. There's a lot I don't understand, even with my empathy. But I want to. And I don't think you're a mess, I think you're struggling to work things out. That doesn't make you a mess. It makes you strong. And definitely stronger than the people who made you this way.

I admire you for that, Alice. And you being strong? That helps me too!

[irrationally]

[ The hug is a lot. But Alice doesn't move to push him away. He just lets his arms and wings envelop her while she listens to what he says.

And what he says is.. hard to believe. Is she really not a mess? Is there anything good in her? Sometimes it feels like she knows, but at other times it feels like the line has become so blurry. Especially when her natural inclination towards violence when it comes to injustice comes to the light like this. ]

...

[ For a moment she can say nothing. She just watches him after he backs off from her again. ]

It helps you..?

[ Her voice sounds weaker than she would like it to, but she can't help it right now when her vulnerability is already full on display. ]