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[Ignis is still thoughtful, so he decided to go sneak back into the dining carriage later though it wasn't his team's rotation. He wanted to cook and feel useful because he didn't have the answers that he needed. Knowing he wouldn't get them on his own anyway, sitting around drowning in ambiguity wasn't going to help either.

He'd thought of practicing with his daggers but that wasn't going to work either and he knew it. The advisor tried to sit in the cabin too and it hadn't worked. Once in the dining carriage he spotted a familiar dark head of hair and stopped, hesitating. It looked like Tony was drinking something and Ignis wasn't sure what to do at first.

His first thought had been to turn away, but again the advisor had his stubborn streak and he wan't going to be the one to walk away. So without a word, Ignis passed by but lightly clapped a hand on Tony's shoulder briefly instead of sitting down or talking.]

[Their conversation earlier was bothering him. It seemed whenever Ignis was around he ended up doing or saying something revealing and regretting it later. It was true the flirting hadn't been in the best taste but, was it wrong to miss that kind of companionship? He wasn't trying to sleep with man. He just.. he had a wife and she wasn't here and being here, even in this crowded place could be eerily lonely. He missed her. But no, that wasn't really who he was missing, was it? He pinched the bridge of his nose lightly as he felt a headache brewing.

He hadn't even noticed anyone else was in the room when he felt a friendly hand on his shoulder. Looking up, was like waking up, suddenly aware of his surroundings again. To his surprise, the person standing next to him was Ignis. He stared for a moment, simply dumbfounded that the man had obviously come in here by mistake and found him or had sought him out. What did it mean that he was here?

Sounding more tired than anything, he finally found his voice.]

I thought I'd offended you enough earlier you were wanting some space from me.

[Ignis was concerned since Tony had seemed like he had spaced out. And the tired tone in the other man's voice didn't alleviate that either. And so for several long moments, green eyes looked into dark ones and he struggled with what to say in response.]

I'm afraid I got space whether I truly wanted it or not. So one would think it was you who needed it.

[There's no condemnation or anger or anything, as his voice is still the same soft tone that was used earlier. Everything was still on his mind, the running after, the look, the question. Nothing was resolved for Ignis and Tony was the only one who could provide the answers that he was looking for. But some of them would be prying and respect was something that he was all about. It wouldn't do to start asking personal questions such as the one levied at him earlier.]

Edited 2019-09-13 03:29 (UTC)

[Tony felt an initial reaction to deny this, but when he couldn't think of something to say in response he was forced to simply consider the suggestion. His gaze dropped back to the cup of tea he'd been.. well staring at as opposed to drinking.]

Maybe. I thought I was doing what you wanted. You're not easy to read, Ignis.

[That comment got a smile.]

It's a quality I excel at.

[Ignis isn't going to deny that.]

But I appreciate the fact that you were doing what you thought I wanted you to do.

[He couldn't explain that no one really reached for him unless it was Noctis and that was duty. No one really cared about what he personally wanted and no one asked either. His opinion was sought on other things but not on a level like that.]

[Ignis looked good with a smile on his face, Tony couldn't deny that.]

Is that the goal, though? To make it impossible for someone to read you and judge whether you'll like or dislike something?

[He sighs and shakes his head. He really wishes he had alcohol. Maybe he should try taking his sleep aid instead and just crash for the night. But then he might dream if he goes before he's truly exhausted. He couldn't risk that.]

Something I do red about you is that you seem the type of person who will keep a secret. I'm not wrong am I?

[This was the part where Tony was confusing him again though Ignis fought not to show it.]

That would depend entirely on the person that I'm dealing with.

[Those words are a legitimate honest answer. But his head tilts at the dark haired man's question and the he nods.]

Of course I can.

That's fair.

[He shrugs as he concedes Ignis' point without protest.]

Despite the fact that I hold more authority in this train than anyone else, I've bent over backwards to take care of everyone here, and came up with the council idea, I didn't have them vote on me because I didn't want to see if they'd actually vote for me or not.

[He shakes his head and pushes the cup away from him. It had lost its warmth a while ago.]

How pathetic is that?

[He listened and his heart reached out to the man who definitely seemed to be the leader here. So once Tony pushed his cup away, Ignis knelt down and reached a hand up to touch the other's arm.]

I don't believe it's pathetic as you call it. A leader pushes onward always, accepting the consequences and never looking back.

[The saying was for a king pushes onward always, but in this situation it applied. So he tried to smile, amazed to hear that this man had done so much for so many and they had no idea. Ignis then removed his hand from Tony's arm with a nod.]

Hearing this proves that you have a big heart and you take good care of others. That in itself is something to be admired for.

[Tony watches Ignis, curious what he was doing. His gaze shifts from where he was touched on the arm up along his shoulder, chin, face, and finally his eyes again. What was happening here?

He shakes his head again. He couldn't accept too much of that credit. Not after all the failures he'd had in his life. Except, it meant something that this man was looking at him like he might still be worthy of this kind of praise.]

I'm sorry I called you a eunuch.

[He really didn't know why he was even sharing any of this. Was it just Ignis' presence that begged to listen or was there something about the man's mannerisms that were so familiar it gave him a false sense of home.]

The man you remind me of, is a really incredible hero in my world. Captain America- our country's name- was his title. To me, he was just Steve. I have a.. uh.. rough edge a lot of times. I don't get along with a lot of people. I'm not sure really why I've been getting along so well with people on this train, but I know it's not going to last. It didn't last with him either.

[Ignis lightly coughed and shook his head at the apology. And that's when he stood back up to his full height.]

I'll forget you mentioned that at all.

[He listened though as Tony went on about his friend. So America was a country and a man was named after it? No, the man had a real name.]

I'm certainly no hero, but your friend sounds like a good man.

[His green eyes locked with Tony's for a moment and gave him a half stern look as he took the teacup. It was his intent to get him a fresh cup.]

You shouldn't expect to get along with others all of the time.

[Putting distance between them, Ignis proceeded to get to the tea. And as he did he had to find something out.]

If I remind you of this person, then might I be so bold as to ask if that's why you seem to walk away?

[Steve was a good man. It's why their 'break up' or 'civil war', if you will, was so painful.

He couldn't help notice just how tall Ignis was when he stood. From where he was sitting, the man was suddenly a giant. Maedhros and how he kept mentally referring to him as 'monster elf'. That was the only real reason he didn't stop him with the teacup. It clearly had nothing to do with how those green eyes had pierced his soul. What had he seen? Wasn't it appropriate he was now walking away?

Wait, what was he saying? He'd missed a comment in there, he was pretty sure.]

I seem to walk away from what?

When we chat.

[Tony totally deserved Ignis walking away, though he was only going so far as to wait on the other man, not out of room or the entire conversation. He gave Tony a half worried look because one of the other times they'd chatted and the other had left, Ignis had gotten questions as if their conversation wasn't being paid attention to.]

Are you alright?

[And by the Six if Tony walked out, Ignis was so going after him this time.]

I do?

[He looks sort of baffled by the idea but it was also due to the fact Ignis had gotten up.. freshen his drink? He looks at the cup a moment in confusion and then back up at the man.]

I.. uh.. I didn't realize.. I don't know.

[He was being much too honest with this guy. It was starting to freak him out. Then it suddenly occurred to him why he left the first time.]

I get, uh.. anxiety attacks sometimes? So. That first time.. I had to walk away. I didn't want to have an attack in front of anyone again.

..

Least of all you.

[The concern isn't abating. But a fresh cup of tea appears before Tony within minutes and Ignis shakes his head. These questions and spacing out were precisely what he was referring to.]

You should probably..

[But the advice to rest and relax just stopped as he caught the last part of what was said. There Tony went again, being baffling. And here the other had said he was hard to read. So it took Ignis a few moments to complete a thought.]

If you had an anxiety attack I would most certainly help you though I can certainly understand not wanting to have one at all.

[A thought, he's curious.]

Is that..because I resemble your friend?

[Oh god, please don't say rest. It's what he kept telling Peter to do. Please don't.. oh good, they were getting distracted to another conversation.]

No.. what? No. It's not the attack I'm worried about. It's..

[Tony huffs out a frustrated breath. He sucks at this emotions stuff? Why couldn't Ignis just read his mind like Pepper seemed to always be able to do? Of course, she's known him like a million years and he put her through hell and why in god's name was he comparing Ignis to her again?]

Look, you're one of the few competent adults on board this train. The rest of them are kids or teenagers. I have to be in charge here because, who else is going to do it? You, Sarai, and Dread.. and I guess the elves, but I don't know if they really count.. either way, the point is.. I don't need you knowing what a mess I am, even though clearly I just told you so.. what the hell?

[He rubs his face in frustration, trying and failing to figure out why he couldn't find the off switch on his verbal diarrhea tonight.

The truth was, he was exhausted. He was trying to be the adult in the room and he was still recovering from what he'd seen and experienced. It was overwhelming and he could really use a drink to cope.]

[He finally decided to sit across from Tony though his usual mannerisms would have him ask if it was alright first. He set his coffee down on the table and listened.]

Then I don't see why you call yourself pathetic if you're the one clearly qualified to be the one to get things done.

[A slight smile.]

Even if you are a mess, I have yet to see anyone that is in complete control of themselves and their lives at all times. But you have others to help you, your council that's been appointed. Surely you can relieve yourself of some of the burdens of constantly being in charge now.

[But the smile fades quickly as the exhaustion in the other showed.]

Now when was the last time you got a good night's sleep?

[Tony never thought about stuff like that. He'd been raised in high society, wealthy families and snobby people, but he'd always looked at them with a level of disdain. Sometimes his manners showed, but apparently now wasn't one of them. Right now he was finally confiding how hard this trip has been on someone who he really didn't know well enough to be doing this. It made him think he had to be losing his mind a bit.

He tries to smile at the compliment and the logic that he could relax some. He didn't know if he should or not, but he could feel himself slowly doing so.]

It's not so easy.

[He could elaborate but he couldn't find the words. His attention is brought back to Ignis at his question about his sleep. He hadn't really noticed he'd been staring at the tea instead of the man again.]

Uh.. I don't know. Not since the power went out. It brought back some hard memories. But, I'm okay. Really. I just have to stop all this bitching and get my act together, right?

[The coffee cup came down when Tony tried to smile. It was almost as if the advisor was seeing a different side to the other man, one that didn't seem to require a crowd of people around to entertain or make laugh. Ignis nodded in understanding.]

I can imagine it will take some time, but you do have others to rely on now.

[How similar this seemed to some of the conversations he'd had with the king. And while nagging came to mind at the other's lack of sleep, this man needed someone to be kind to him.]

What would you say to your council members if one of us told you that very same tale of not sleeping? Getting one's act together would surely require rest, correct?

[Yes he cares, yes it's showing.]

[He was. This wasn't the person he often let others see. It was harder to keep it hidden though after five years of being home and free to be just a dad and husband and nothing more. So maybe his guard wasn't as strong as it once had been or maybe Ignis seemed safe. Tony really couldn't say.

The ghost of a smile he had on his face previously turns a little warmer, a little more grateful, and a little more obvious.

He has to laugh and shake his head at the irony of the situation. Someone was asking him about avoiding sleep!]

I know. I have been badgering Peter about that since we got here too. He also has bad nightmares too. It's hypocritical that I'm doing the exact same thing he is doing. It's just.. I'm in a room full of girls.

[He makes a face at Ignis.]

One is 11. One acts 11. And one.. well she is an 11. You know, on a scale of 1-10, like ten being the hottest. Have you seen her? Ash? Gorgeous hair.

[He was trying to push the conversation towards something else, like talking about Ash or how hot people were. Something that was easy, familiar, and had nothing to do with his scars.]

[It was nice to see the smile, and Ignis wondered at the reason for it. But then he heard about avoiding sleeping and nightmares. He didn't have a nightmare remedy nor did he know of one in existence.]

So it's do as I say and not as I do with you.

[Then he hears the part about the girls and his head slightly lowers and turns his head away. Now Tony reminds him of Prompto, as girl crazy as he was about Cindy and Aranea.]

I'm afraid I rather hadn't noticed.

[Ignis doesn't check people out.]

[He shrugs, still with that same smile but perhaps some guilt creeps in.]

Privileges of being a dad, I guess? Well.. technically I'm not his biological father but for all intents and purposes I am here.

[The discomfort- is that what it was?- when Ignis turns away has Tony curious, which is always a dangerous thing.]

You're very uncomfortable with the idea of relationships. Why? You're a very good looking young man. Half the women- or men- on this train can't help watch whenever you walk by. Let's be honest, your best feature is when you're departing.

[That answer gets a response in a slight smile, he's heard of other parents being that way.]

I see.

[Then Tony goes off on another tangent, however this time it's a more personal one and hits Ignis as he struggles with what to say. He's not going to get up and walk out though, as he's already made up his mind about that. So finally he goes for a safer route and continues to avoid those dark eyes.]

They can think whatever they wish though I believe I should thank you for your..compliment of good looking.

[Huh, there he goes again. He looks like he's about to dive under the table to hide from Tony's flirting. Honestly, he'd really just been asking and the flirty ending had just slipped out by accident. The real question was, why was Ignis so afraid of this?]

That's not what I asked, Ignis. Why are you so uncomfortable with this? I get that asking if you were 'altered' was completely unfair and a mean way of asking, but.. did something happen to you?

[Did Ignis need to have a conversation with Peter?]

I haven't..

[Damn it he wasn't getting into that part of things. So Ignis tried again and shook his head against thinking of that damn question Tony had asked him earlier.]

There wasn't time for a personal life at all.

[Like ever since he was six, so that's why having all this free time on his hands was nerve wracking at times.]

My duties called me away from having one.

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