[ Audio | Day 12 ]

[hashtagparkerluck]

S-so uh... Gwen's uh... Gwen's missing.

her name's in um.. gold. So, if anyone's bee looking for her-that's-that's where she is.

Comments

[runs_on_batteries]

[Tony doesn't fight him. He was still learning all of Peter's cues and he wasn't always going to be right.]

Because that's life. You ultimately lose everyone. You can postpone it if you're lucky but in the end, when you die, you have to become star dust or whatever you want to call it, alone.

[He reached down and picked up the water bottle. He offered it again.]

Scream. Throw things. Stop censoring yourself and let yourself express your emotions. Do whatever is the opposite of going numb. And yeah, it is hard.

[This hurt Tony. He hurt for Peter. He hurt for himself having to watch Peter. He hurt because Gwen had been someone he'd begun counting as family.]

Maybe it's the two of us together. I lose everyone too.

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ Peter stops for a second as he considers what Tony's saying. ]

Then what's the point of anything? If we're just gonna lose it all in the end, why even bother? I think I'd rather be numb-or I don't know. Take a break somehow-to just stop existing for a while, you know?

Honestly, I don't know how you do it, Mr Stark. I'm not even half your age yet and I already feel like I'm going crazy.

[runs_on_batteries]

[Tony is quiet for a few moments after Peter's stopped talking. He could give the kid all kinds platitudes but he knows those don't ever really help.]

I drink. I also spar a lot. It does get to me and sometimes I need a break. So.. if that's really what you need to do then I can't fault you for it. But..

[Okay, maybe a little cliche here.]

If you left tomorrow I'd be devastated but I wouldn't trade my time with you for anything.

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ He takes in another breath and then steps over closer, still ignoring the water bottle and hugs Tony tight, staying silent for a long moment while he just appreciates that Tony is still there and he can still go to him for things. ]

I don't sleep.

[ He finally admits-he knows Tony is aware of this as it's not really a secret. ]

I say that I can't sleep maybe because it's true and I know that that's pretty normal for kids that have been through a pretty serious trauma-but also I don't want to sleep sometimes. I mean, I say that I don't want the nightmares but is that just an excuse to get away with hurting myself? Because that's what it is-it's self harm.

[runs_on_batteries]

[Tony tosses the bottle aside. Peter knew where it was if he wanted it. Right now this was about doing whatever the boy needed.

He smiled when it was a hug.]

I know. If I could make the pain stop and people quit leaving you, you know I would. I know sleep is something you can control. I'm being a hypocrite getting on your cause about it but I can't help it. I worry.

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ Peter's not letting go immediately-he likes hugs and just as always, Tony just has a way of making him feel safe and normal especially when he doesn't think he is. ]

You're not a hypocrite Mr Stark, you're a dad. What's that thing parents always say? Do as I say, not as I do?

[runs_on_batteries]

[He wasn't letting go yet. He tightened his grip just a little more as he sensed Peter needing it. Maybe he hadn't had it wrong earlier after all.

He breathed a laugh and nodded.]

Yeah but when have you ever listened to what I say?

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ Peter can't help the small laugh that escapes him. ]

That is entirely beside the point, Mr Stark. [ Amusement leaking into his voice. ]

[runs_on_batteries]

[Peter laughed. Tony wins.]

You know what the best cure for the blues is? Work. I saw some more of those dumb ants on the wall on the way over here. Doesn't that sound like just the thing to cheer you up?

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ That is gonna get Peter step back and give Tony a look. ]

Uh, no. Not at all, actually. You can't just turn around and destroy the moment by giving me chores.

[runs_on_batteries]

[Tony laughs harder at that look. He waves his hand and shakes his head.]

I'm kidding! I wish I had a camera though. That was priceless.

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ The look doesn't recede from his face just yet. ]

And you wonder why I'm a rebellious teenager.

[runs_on_batteries]

You enjoy giving me gray hairs?

[He ruffled Peter's floppy brown curls.]

You keep my life interesting, that's for sure.