video.

[likeyouknow]

[ The camera function comes on, showing two figures – the first, much larger and in focus, is a blue-grey woman with very visible cat ears and tail. She seems chipper, as much as anyone can be after recent events, and is wearing an apron. Those who’ve seen her around enough to recognize her will know that she’s a member of Purple Team, and that their round of cooking is over and done with; leaving the question of why she’s in the top floor of the kitchen car to begin with. And why her apron says, clearly in bedazzled letters from the art car: KISS THE COOK.

Emet-Selch, on the other hand, is dressed in his usual over formal attire, standing with his back to whatever it is that Pahja is doing behind him; there seems to be an absolute sense of nonchalance, even as he moves around the kitchen. His hands move, and his head tilts a little as he hears Pahja begin to speak, a frown settled on his face - the kind that speaks of a familiar exasperation with a situation.

Pahja beams, facing the camera. ]

Right, greetings all! It has come to my attention that what food exists in our world, [ A gesture to Emet-Selch and herself. ] is rather different in both names and composition than what many other people here are familiar with.

[ Emet-Selch cuts in, his frown growing a little deeper. ]


Must you keep record of the simplest of chores that I do here? I doubt anyone is overly concerned with my ability to perform in the kitchen, nor what ingredients I might have used previously.

[ As he turns, it’s clear that Emet-Selch is preparing one of the recipes for the month - there's soup, and mushrooms, and it looks fine. Following instructions is hardly the most difficult task of his lifetime, after all, and he’s lived long enough that cooking isn’t the most tiresome of feats. Yet.

It remains to be seen if cooking with Pahja hovering is more or less exhausting than the usual.

For her part, Pahja simply rolls her eyes at his protests. It’s good for him, she’s sure, and it isn’t that she’s ungrateful for his company or his cooking skills, just that he could probably attempt to do it without dragging his feet and complaining. Though she’s reasonably certain that he wouldn’t be Emet-Selch if he did. ]

I think someone dressed as you are makes a very interesting picture in the kitchen, seeing as you refused your matching apron. After I went to all the trouble to decorate it, too! [ Some people just can’t appreciate a good thing when they see one. But it is also clear that she carries no ill-will towards him, and probably didn’t even expect him to wear it at all. ] What I wished to ask you all is to tell me about the foods and snacks that you enjoyed at home. If you would be willing to share how to make it, or even cook it, all the better! Even Emet has agreed to cook something from his youth. Well, his pre-Emperor days, at least. Not his youth youth, I fear that may be impossible–

[ That last bit is said softly, under her breath more as a musing than an attempt to pester Emet-Selch. As soon as Pahja is done speaking, Emet-Selch’s face leans into the frame with a frown, and he lifts his hand. ]

That’s enough of that. Respond to her if you wish, but we are finished here.

[ And, suddenly, it’s over. ]

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Video

[unrecovered]

[Wash is smirking. There's something to be said for the offer in this post, but he's choosing to address one thing:]

Now I want to know what the apron looks like.

[likeyouknow]

( pahja is many things, but a staunch defender of emet-selch's dignity she is not. so she holds up another apron with the same text, this time in white on black fabric. except there is the addition of a strange symbol in red. now, normally, the symbol looks like this, but even pahja -- who fancies herself a decent artist -- is limited by the medium in which she'd picked to work in. namely very small sequins. which means the symbol looks more like this. pahja points to it excitedly. )

I even managed to work in the symbol of his office! And yet, still-- ( a drawn out, exaggerated sigh. ) My work goes unappreciated.

[unrecovered]

[...why is the symbol of his office glittery chicken pox. Still, Wash can poker face with the best of them, and the smirk doesn't leave his face.]

Wow, some people really don't appreciate the value of hard work. What a shame.

[likeyouknow]

( she appreciates you, wash. so, so much. )

Thank you. ( ah, the sincerity! her eyes flick back to emet's back, her grin widening. ) You would think there would be some appreciation of all the time and effort-- but nay, nothing! Truly I am suffering.

( she is not. )

Would you like it?

[unrecovered]

Some people just don't know art when they see it.

[Oh shit okay he'd thought they were on the same page? Being overly dramatic and joking? Offering him the apron feels a little too sincere for that, and also he really does not want the glitter pox apron.]

I'm more of a dishes guy than a cook, so it'd be wasted on me.

[Well, it's not a lie. Hopefully that's good enough?]

Thanks, though.

[apokroteo]

Just because I am not wearing it does not mean it is not mine, Pahja.

[ The voice is low - still somewhat amused, but. Well. He’s clearly at the point where he feels like all of this might have been designed purely for his self torture. ]

Please feel free to ignore her completely.

[unrecovered]

Okay, but if it's yours and you're cooking, you should wear it.

[For not being much of a cook, Wash sure is stirring the pot over here.]

Why would I do that?

[apokroteo]

I have no need to wear it.

[ A snap of his fingers and the dirt would be gone. ]

And you might ignore her because she has a habit of inanity. That’s all.

[unrecovered]

Yeah, that's not what I said.

[There is a difference; the question is whether this guy gets it.]

[...the fact that he casually uses the word inanity in a sentence says no, he does not.]

Nah, I don't think I will.

[likeyouknow]

( it's good enough, and she grins before setting it aside. )

Your loss! But come -- you have not yet answered my question! What sort of food or snacks do you consider unique to your world?

[unrecovered]

[Oh good, glad that worked. He does take a second or two to consider her question, but...well, there's a reason he hadn't answered it in the first place.]

Nothing, actually. I've met enough people from enough versions of Earth to know that the food is pretty much the same.

[likeyouknow]

Really? ( she looks a little disappointed, ears dipping slightly down before they perk up again. ) Well no matter, Earth itself is different enough for me if you are willing to share. For example, I and Emet, are from a star called Etheirys. And while there are some other versions of myself running around, I would not go so far to say that Etheirys itself is a different 'version'.

So have no fear, anything would be something new to me!

[unrecovered]

[She's got a fair point, but he does have to point out:]

So it's not so much 'unique to my world' as it is 'new to you,' then.

[Wash. Wash no.]

Do you have cheeseburgers on Etheirys?

[likeyouknow]

( wash no! but yeah, that's fair, and pahja laughs, unbothered. )

I suppose so, aye. But I like it better my way. We do, though they are not quite as common as I think they are elsewhere. I have only had one recently -- sandwiches are far more popular.

( burgers as a concept have yet to really catch on, oddly enough. )