voidtreckernet | Getting It Over With - Video

Entry tags:

Getting It Over With - Video - OTA (CW: Death mentions)

[Najaran sighed and with Gremlin's help figured out how to send a video message. Machines were still a little confusing to her.]

[A deep breath then she began speaking to where Gremlin's small scaly finger came into frame to point her to.]

"Leia and I already talked about it. But I figure a lot of you are gonna wanna let me know how upset you are that I didn't let the train evacuate me at the end of the last mission. That I tried to stand and fight those things. That I refused to run away again. Anyway, I'm probably going to be hungry a lot this month, so if you're going to yell at me, I'd rather just let everyone yell at me today and just get it over with, okay?"

[She hesitated, unsure, then shrugged.] "So yeah. I'll be in the Garden car if you want to come yell at me in person. Just please be careful not to hurt Woodfolk, they had nothing to do with it."

[Again that scaled hand came onto the screen to point out what she was supposed to do next.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"So... you think I'm a grown up now?"

"That is not what she said, Najaran! She said practice! In the real world!"

"Nuh uh! She said practice is more important than the real world and I'm all grown up now!"

Someone might wanna stop them before Najaran and her talking staff got into an actual fistfight. Which given only one of them had fists...

"All right, all right!" Nell said loudly enough to be heard over the arguing. "Your... um... stick is right and honestly, if this is the way you behave, well... maybe you're not as ready as I thought."

"Wait.... what?!" Najaran asked, dimayed.

"I think you're putting words in my mouth," Nell said. "And arguing with something that knows you better than I do. That makes me worry."

"But..." She trailed off, not sure what to say. Depressed.

"I think real world practice is good and that you'un should be able to make some decisions for yourself," Nell said. "But that doesn't mean no more practice here or that you'un don't need to listen to your elders."

"When do I get to be an elder?" she mumbled under her breath, slumping more.

Nell laughed. "If I ever get their myself I'll let you know."

"I'm tired of always being treated like a kid," she said, flopping down onto her back. "Even here everyone tries to tell me what to do."

"Sometimes it's even harder when you'un doesn't have anyone to tell them what to do," Nell said. "'Cause then you have to tell yourownself what to do. And that's tough."

"But I tell myself what to do and then everyone gets mad at me."

"Then maybe you're not making the best decisions," Nell suggested. "Maybe you're not thinking about the long term consequences. Maybe you're not listening and doing the smart thing. I could tell myself to sleep all day and not bother to take care of my cat or do the chores I'm assigned and maybe that would feel good in the moment, but I can assure you'un that I'd regret it in the long run."

Nell was quiet for a moment. "It's the hardest part about being an adult. You even need to tell yourself to do things you don't want to. The hard things, the smart things, the right things. No one can make you, but you sure as shootin' can lose respect or friends or the things that matter most to you."

"I'm trying!" she complained, loudly. "But I'm not going to stop helping people just because it makes people scream at me!"

Oh... Nell began to have a guess about what some of this was about.

"No one's saying you're not trying," Nell said calmly. "But have you stopped to think about how you can best help people? If you put yourself in danger and maybe die, you'll never be able to help anybody else again. If you work smart and let others help, maybe you won't save everybody this one time - maybe it's impossible to do that - but at least you'll still be around when help is needed again."

She shrugged. "If you die, so do the rest you couldn't help. And all your people have to grieve you. And the next time... well, you won't be there and maybe they'll have a harder time carrying on without you. I know I had a terrible hard time carrying on without Leah."

"But if I put myself in danger, and that saves someone who can help even more than I can... than that is worth it, isn't? And now that we know that dying here isn't forever... then isn't it worth the risk?"

"How do you know that they can help more than you can? What if next time they need someone like you? And what if next time dying here is forever?" Nell asked. "And is it worth what you put your family and friends through? You can't save everyone. That's impossible. So you have to make good choices and sometimes that might mean making the hard choice to let something go."

Nell sighed. "Ultimately only you can decide what to do, but you don't get to decide how other people feel about it. If they're truly your friends then you owe it to them to at least listen to them and honestly consider their concerns. Just like you'd want them to listen to you."

"But that's just it! I don't know! And I cant judge my life as more important just because I know what I can and can't do! I do listen to everyone! But I can't stop helping people just because it is dangerous!"

Nell sighed again. She seemed to be doing a lot of that. "The only sure thing is that if you're dead you won't be able to help anyone else ever again. If you'd rather not listen to the warnings when things get too dangerous and take the chance of dying rather than choosing to fight another day, then that's what you do, I sure can't stop you'un."

She started to clean up the things she'd brought and tuck them away for easy carry. "But you'un have to live -or not - with the consequences. And that includes your friends not being happy that you're kinda careless with your own life. I hope you all can figure things out together."

"I'm not careless," she said, putting her hands over her face. "But I can't choose me over someone else who isn't trying to kill me."

Nell nodded. "Then I hope perhaps your friends can help you understand more of your own value," she said gently.

"Why would I want to value myself over other people!? That's how people become cowards!"

"I'm not sure why you're yellin' at me," Nell said. "I would like to say that I completely disagree, though I'm sure you won't agree. In any case, I think perhaps it's best if I let you'un be, give you some time to settle."

She winced back, realizing she had been getting angry. She bowed and mumbled an apology. Her father taught her better than that. So had her Master. But sometimes her temper just... had a mind of its own. She was working on that. She was.

Nell nodded and smiled at her as she headed out.

Najaran watched her go, then found a seat to think, feeling deeply unsettled.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Getting It Over With - Video - OTA (CW: Death mentions)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Thank you for the thread!