Day 28 | Video

[myblueskies]

[It's late at night. Not quite the early morning but certainly later than you would normally see Romeo around.

The video turns on into the kitchen, Romeo is a little bit away from the ICP, stirring something in a bowl but he glances over, as if to check that the ICP is recording.]

Um hello everyone. I hope I don't wake anyone up with talking so late but I was in bed and thinking really really hard about some things and my mind wouldn't go to sleep so I came to bake cookies but I'm still thinking and sometimes when you got lots of big questions in your head it's a good idea to talk about it.

[He gets closer, bowl in hand as he keeps mixing.]

I was thinking about Osiga and all the people we saved but also how we left all their bodies and I guess that's okay because we brought the bit that was properly them into the void.

But then I was thinking about what made a person a person because it's really confusing. Because some of the people didn't want to come into the void at all. Because without a world or a body then... that's bad for them I guess but I know lots of people without bodies or worlds and they are all people.

So I read a book that said a person was a person because of all their memories and experiences, that it's what we do and see and know that make us... us. But I knew I was Romeo even when I didn't have any memories at all. When everything was nothing I was still Romeo.

But then I wondered if I was. Because there's people here who look the same as each other and they are different people because they... had different lives I guess so am I the same Romeo as I was when I was alive? Because I don't remember any of that and all the things I did and my friends I made since then have made me me. But did that mean I wasn't really a person when I had no body and no memories?

It's really tricky to think about and I'm worried about all the people we rescued and if they are sad or scared about it because I guess it's different. If you have to live in the void 'cause your world was eaten then if you got snatched in the void but maybe can go home.

And that's different again then not knowing where you come from at all because I guess you can't really miss or be sad about somewhere that you don't even know about.

[Big Questions indeed. He sighed.] It's just really big. So I'm making cookies. If anyone is still awake they can come and get them, they'll be ready once they've been in the oven.

Comments

[happyends]

[ Please, Romeo, who are you to policy your fellow young teenagers! In truth, Madoka was probably discussing stuff with her girlfriend, considering how much there's been to talk about lately.. ]

I'm okay. [ But she's not the one philosophizing on the network in front of everyone, so.. ]

The stuff you're thinking about though.. It's really deep. Or maybe I should say heavy.. [ Especially considering Romeo's own situation, and what he is. ] Are you sure none of it is bothering you..?

[myblueskies]

It is really heavy. [He sighed, but then smiled, because it was important to keep his spirits up, especially for Madoka.]

I guess it is a little bit and that's why I keep thinking instead of sleeping. But I'm being careful!

[happyends]

.. what about it do you think that you keep thinking about the most?

[ Maybe it's better to start like that. Because even if Romeo is being careful, Madoka still wants to make sure that he can actually talk about this stuff with his friends.

Even if it's heavy stuff. And even if she isn't always entirely sure what to say.

She still wants to help. ]

[myblueskies]

I'm not sure. I guess I was thinking that here in the void everyone is a bit like shinki. We don't got bodies even if we sort of do. But also most people got all their memories and I guess I feel more normal here than I did in the heavens.

Or not in the heavens. I was normal there but then when we went to earth people couldn't really see us or anything and that doesn't happen here and then I was thinking about what bits of us made us a person.

So I guess all of it. It's just all swirly in my head.

[happyends]

[ It sure sounds swirly, Romeo. ]

Do you think that's.. important to know? What bits of us make us someone..?

[ It does make Madoka think of her own world as well. All the stuff with the Soul Gems, the way it had seemed to drive Sayaka completely crazy, making her call herself a zombie.

She must have been thinking about it too in that moment - what parts of her made her.. her. ]

I mean, regardless of what makes us us, we're still just ourselves, right..?

[myblueskies]

I guess you're right Madoka. We're just ourselves.

[He was a Romeo even if he was maybe not the same person he had once been. He thinks.]

But I think its important to know. Or at least to think about. Because... I don't know I was just thinking about it because of the people on Osiga.

[happyends]

[ .. the people on Osiga. Now without a world. Without a body.

Maybe they're not so different from her either. ]

But they're still people, right? They still know who they are, and act the same. [ Or so she hopes, anyway. It's not like she knows how they're doing now, after seeing all those voidcraft right after leaving the world. ]

Even though something about them changed.. at the same time, they didn't change. Um, if that makes any sense at all..

[myblueskies]

I think so! [He's very aware of how her own situation is similar and so he makes his voice more confident.] I know so! I bet they are just the same as they were even if they are sadder. So maybe its your soul that makes you you and you don't need a body or a world.

[happyends]

But in my world-- um.

[ Madoka stops, then seems to pause, nervously glancing around her. It feels a little hard to talk about this, given the fact that the entire train can hear it.. But since the only person left from a world similar to hers here on the train is Kyoko, and she's well aware of this fact already, Madoka feels like she can talk about it without negative consequences.

Unlike back home. ]

Back in my world.. people's souls are taken out of their bodies, and put into these gems. But they're still the same people then.

[ So that would make pinning a person's existence on just the soul a little problematic - at least from Madoka's point of view. She wouldn't stop calling her contracted friends people! ]

[myblueskies]

Oh [They put their souls in gems? Why would they do that? Was Madoka's soul in a gem?

So a soul could be separate from a body and both could exist at the same time?]

Why are their souls in gems? Is it dangerous to keep them in their bodies?

[happyends]

[ See, Romeo is already asking better questions here than most people in Madoka's own world, clearly. ]

Ah, well..

[ Madoka kind of knows the real reason - probably since it's the way Kyubey extracts their energy and all - but it feels depressing to tell Romeo that when he's already got so much on his mind.

So.. ]

I think that else those girls wouldn't be able to use magic.. maybe.

[myblueskies]

Oh. [He blinked.] So they got to be separate from their soul to use magic?

[It's not too weird, after all he is used to magic only working with conditions. After all if he isn't named by a god he can't use borderlines or anything.]

[happyends]

Yeah, I think so.

[ THE LESS SAID ON THAT TOPIC, THE BETTER.. PROBABLY... ]

But even so, they were still themselves, you know? So I think maybe it's not that there's any specific part that makes a person who they are.. Maybe they're just themselves as long as they still have some part of themselves, no matter what it is!

[myblueskies]

I guess so. Mister Zetta was still himself when he was a book and when he was a god and when he was a demon and no he is a demon god with a person body. He was always the same person.

[So maybe as long as they have a bit of themselves they are them.]

So maybe I'm just exactly the same as how I was when I was alive.

[happyends]

[ Zetta sure was still himself when he was just a book.

By god, was he ever himself. ]

Yeah!

[ Honestly, Madoka doesn't think that idea is so strange. Romeo is just so.. so Romeo-y that she's pretty sure he'd always turn out the same, regardless of memories. ]

It's because you have such a good heart, Romeo. I can't imagine you any other way than the way you are right now.. since your good heart would always guide you to being the same kind person, no matter what happens!

[myblueskies]

Do you think so? [He smiled.] Maybe there's a bit of us all that can never change then, in our heart. It will mean we are still us even if everything else is different.

[He likes that idea. After all he couldn't imagine Madoka being anyone different at all.]

[happyends]

Hmm-mm, I definitely think so.

[ Madoka likes to think that she's known Romeo for long enough by now to be able to tell. Sure, it helps that the other's personality is pretty straightforward, but.. all the same, Romeo is someone who's just kind through and through.

Nothing could change that, surely. ]

Even if we're not sure what part of us it is that does that [ since it can't be their literal heart and all.. ] it's just important that we somehow always carry the most important part of us with us anyway, right? We don't need to figure out all the complicated details.

[ As long as it just works, everything is fine. ]

[myblueskies]

I guess so! It would mean less tricky thinking if we didn't need to decide all the complicated details.

[So maybe he didn't have to think so hard. After all he knew who he was and maybe Madoka was right, there was a bit of them that would never change.]

Do you want to come and eat cookies?

[happyends]

[ Well...

It is a little late. They probably shouldn't be eating cookies right now. They should be good kids and head to bed on time.

On the other hand, Romeo has been thinking about a lot, and Madoka wants to make sure he has company. Just in case. So after that brief moment of thought, she just nods. ]

Sure..! I'll come right over, so please save some for me..!

[myblueskies]

Of course I'll save some for you!

[They smell very tasty but he won't touch any until Madoka joins this cookie eating party!

It might be very late but he's sure it's okay for one night.]