voidtreckernet | Day 28

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Day 28 | Video

[It's late at night. Not quite the early morning but certainly later than you would normally see Romeo around.

The video turns on into the kitchen, Romeo is a little bit away from the ICP, stirring something in a bowl but he glances over, as if to check that the ICP is recording.]

Um hello everyone. I hope I don't wake anyone up with talking so late but I was in bed and thinking really really hard about some things and my mind wouldn't go to sleep so I came to bake cookies but I'm still thinking and sometimes when you got lots of big questions in your head it's a good idea to talk about it.

[He gets closer, bowl in hand as he keeps mixing.]

I was thinking about Osiga and all the people we saved but also how we left all their bodies and I guess that's okay because we brought the bit that was properly them into the void.

But then I was thinking about what made a person a person because it's really confusing. Because some of the people didn't want to come into the void at all. Because without a world or a body then... that's bad for them I guess but I know lots of people without bodies or worlds and they are all people.

So I read a book that said a person was a person because of all their memories and experiences, that it's what we do and see and know that make us... us. But I knew I was Romeo even when I didn't have any memories at all. When everything was nothing I was still Romeo.

But then I wondered if I was. Because there's people here who look the same as each other and they are different people because they... had different lives I guess so am I the same Romeo as I was when I was alive? Because I don't remember any of that and all the things I did and my friends I made since then have made me me. But did that mean I wasn't really a person when I had no body and no memories?

It's really tricky to think about and I'm worried about all the people we rescued and if they are sad or scared about it because I guess it's different. If you have to live in the void 'cause your world was eaten then if you got snatched in the void but maybe can go home.

And that's different again then not knowing where you come from at all because I guess you can't really miss or be sad about somewhere that you don't even know about.

[Big Questions indeed. He sighed.] It's just really big. So I'm making cookies. If anyone is still awake they can come and get them, they'll be ready once they've been in the oven.

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You're definitely a person. Don't let anybody tell you different.

And it's gonna be okay, somehow. We're gonna make it happen.

Most people are plain human and die like normal. Blades can't actually exist without human partners called Drivers, whenever a Blade loses their Driver they return to their Core Crystal and reset.

[ People get snacks! So Romeo is a people! Mort is wise with these things. ]

Shades are what is left after someone dies. You can also call them the soul or spirit of a person. There seems to be many words to describe the same thing.

[ Which is a little annoying but not the worst of what makes communication so hard. ]

Those who drink from the River Lethe lose their memories. If someone you knew lost all their memory, would you stop calling them a person?

.. what about it do you think that you keep thinking about the most?

[ Maybe it's better to start like that. Because even if Romeo is being careful, Madoka still wants to make sure that he can actually talk about this stuff with his friends.

Even if it's heavy stuff. And even if she isn't always entirely sure what to say.

She still wants to help. ]

Nell hugged him tight and kissed the top of his head, ruffling his hair for good measure.

"Sounds like you're havin' a lot of deep thoughts tonight," she said. "I wish I had some easy answers for you, but I'm not sure I do. Still I figured I'd come here and sit with you and see if I could help any."

[It has got to be way past this kid's bedtime.]

[Then again, given the most recent mission, Wash can't exactly blame him for having questions.]

[A while ago, Wash would've said your memories are what make you a person. That was before he'd wound up with two extra sets of memories that weren't his burned into his brain. That was also before he'd met - before he'd dealt with - Locus.]

[He's got a different answer now.]

If you can think for yourself and make your own choices, you're a person. Everything else is just built on top of that.

[And then, because he can't not ask:]

Think you can get some sleep when the cookies are done?

[Gremlin dragged her over to the video, and she missed the very beginning, but caught the rest.]

[Normally the cookies would be the important part to her. But not this time. This time one part caught and held her attention to the exclusion of all else.]

"What do you mean we left their bodies?!"

[They had saved all those people, hand't they? Hadn't they? Panic filled her and her legs were weak under her. She clung to the ICP to keep upright. What had it all been for? Had they just saved... ghosts? But they had been there! There had been time! The train had space! She thought the people had boarded trains like this one! Hadn't they????]

[Xion happened to be near the ICP and heard this. She froze, listening. Internalizing.]

[Because... she was... just her memories at this point... wasn't she? Was there some way to record this? She grabbed out her notebook and started writing down everything that was said as best she could. She would bring this to Axel. He'd understand more... right...?]

[Elidibus gives the short explanation proper attention and a bit of thought afterward.]

Ah, I see. I can understand your concern in such circumstances.

[Elidibus might not have been a god's weapon, but he was Zodiark's heart. And lost a good chunk of memories about who he once was because of it. He can empathize, though maybe won't express it here on an open channel.]

The return of some memories gave you comfort, I hope? As for the methods that made you what you are, I know nothing of their truth. Yet if they're as straightforward as you say and your soul was simply brought from your world onto another, then from my perspective there would be no reason you are not the 'you' which you remember being.

[The Ascian isn't one to sign off on matters he can't observe and study and come to a decision on. Knowing nothing of Romeo 'before' or these gods' method of summoning their weapons, there isn't much more he can say. But he turns to something he has a touch more grasp on, nodding affirmatively.]

Yes. The Osigans are still themselves. Of course they may have a different view on the matter than I. And none can deny they have many struggles ahead of them.

[Ughh, what a topic… and it really isn’t one Idia wants to go into as he was already heading to the kitchen for late night snacks for his current gaming session. He knows what happened was… well… a thing, but… ughhh, to have someone bring all this kind of thing up.

Pass.

However…] I just came for the cookies. [Idia mumbled as he shuffled into the kitchen, having looked around to spot where Romeo was. Kid was too young to be up at this time… but… yeah, that was some heavy stuff to deal with having stuck in your head.]

Maybe. [He frowned. He doesn't want to feel hatred. But this isn't exactly something he hasn't heard before.]

Mister Zetta says that a lot.

I think its going to be okay as well! Everyone is so good at teamwork I can't think it would not end up okay! Because everyone is working really hard!

[And what else was there, except hard work and teamwork?]

Oh. [He frowned.] When they reset do they lose all their memories again? What does a driver do? Are blades actual blades, are they people who can turn into weapons?

[It's given him something else to think about.]

Oh. [A soul or a spirit, what was left.

He shook his head with a frown.] I don't think so. If someone forgot everything... They are still a person I think but are they the same person as they were before. I guess that's what I'm thinking...

If you don't know anything, you might make different decisions about things.

I'm not sure. I guess I was thinking that here in the void everyone is a bit like shinki. We don't got bodies even if we sort of do. But also most people got all their memories and I guess I feel more normal here than I did in the heavens.

Or not in the heavens. I was normal there but then when we went to earth people couldn't really see us or anything and that doesn't happen here and then I was thinking about what bits of us made us a person.

So I guess all of it. It's just all swirly in my head.

He smiled slightly at the hair ruffling and nodded into her, without letting go just yet.

"They are a lot of big thoughts." He sighed. "Thank you though. It's good to think about them with other people even if no one really knows the answers at all."

It was always better to think about tricky things with friends.

Do you think so sir? It's that easy? [If you could make your own choices...]

What if you got a bad boss so you got to do what they say? Does that make you not a person?

[Answers always brought more questions it seemed. He nodded and glanced at the oven.]

Maybe. Cookies are good for keeping spirits up.

[He blinked at her, a bit confused. That was right, right? But she was bigger than him...]

I think so miss. That's what we did. We brought them to the void but bodies can't live here. That's why our bodies are still on our worlds and the tether thing...

[He had thought he understood it...]

A little bit I guess. They were a bit confusing and a bit sad and a bit scary but I think it's important I did learn them and remember them.

[So his soul had been moved, but he was still the same person. Maybe it was just that easy. He was just thinking about it too much.]

Yes it must be really sad for them, they are probably really scared. I wish we could help them more...

Oh hello sir. [He nodded at him as he put the oven gloves on and set about removing the cookies from the oven, setting them to cool.]

They are a bit hot and squidgy right now, but they won't be very long before you can eat one.

A child makes different decisions than an adult. It's part of living, I think. To change.

[ Thanatos doesn't exactly know what he's trying to say when he's still learning this himself, learning it and applying it to himself. However, Thanatos doesn't think he's wrong about what he's saying either. ]

You're you. Even if you are different than who you were before.

"Wait, what do you mean our bodies are back home....?" [Someone does not pay as much attention as she should...]

[Rezo has never actually spoken to Zetta, but recognizes the name mainly because the red team is small enough that anyone on it stands out.]

It's certainly not a pleasant emotion to experience. But such unpleasant things are simply another part of life.

Yeah, for a Blade, dying and losing their Driver are the same thing. There are exceptions there, but they're rare. Drivers partner with Blades, pulling them out of their Core Crystals. Every Blade has a weapon that's tied to them, as much a part of them as anything else. Used to be that it could be near any item, but Alrest is a dangerous place so those ones kinda got weeded out over time.

[ It sure sounds swirly, Romeo. ]

Do you think that's.. important to know? What bits of us make us someone..?

[ It does make Madoka think of her own world as well. All the stuff with the Soul Gems, the way it had seemed to drive Sayaka completely crazy, making her call herself a zombie.

She must have been thinking about it too in that moment - what parts of her made her.. her. ]

I mean, regardless of what makes us us, we're still just ourselves, right..?

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Day 28 | Video

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