Okkkaay, new day. [ A huff. ] I wanna do anything but talk like this, but I'd also rather be playing blitzball, so.
[ A complaint and bunch of words that likely mean nothing to the train, but he's still saying them. He'll grumble if he wants to!! ]
Okay, so, where did I finish yesterday even? Talking about missions? I know I didn't get that far. Just talking about the first day? Mm- I was thinking about that first mission. Gyueran - first mission for me anyway.
I didn't mind it. It sounded scary and like we'd be thrown into a giant mess, and we really were, but I got used to fighting back in Spira.
--You know that's why I get mad about weapons though, right? [ right, that. ] Not just that mission. I only got a weapon 'cause a guy on the train could make us for them, so he made a copy of a sword I used back on Spira. But if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have anything!
And sure, you let us have weapons now, but you don't even see the problem of keeping them back, or why having nothing until you get points is a pain! You know you can be out there doing something, doing the job someone else even thinks you can do, but you don't have anything to do with it? And what if you're no good at of the jobs the other teams are doing? You want us to help people, but you don't give us anything to do that with?
It's like telling you to take us somewhere without a map! Sure, I can give you a map ... if you earn it. Also, if you don't get there soon, people are gonna die.
[ Does it make sense now? How can he be any clearer than that? He sits in the silence, not feeling entirely satisfied.
Ugh. ]
I don't know what's best. Weapons aren't the end all be all, anyway. A bunch of people don't know how to fight. They don't know how to fix things, they don't know how to help people. We scramble and we get the job done anyway, but - I just want to know people are going to be safe out there. That they're not gonna feel useless, that they've got something they can help with, ways to help. It's hard, you know?
You buy what you can with points, you buy what you know, but you know there could be better out there too, something else worth getting, something easier to understand. You try coming together and talking to everyone about it, and everyone's got their own ideas - they make team leads, they make councils, they want to do their best. But then they want to do everything their way, or they feel responsible and like they have to take the lead, take everything on their shoulders, decide everything. And then there's caring about what team you're in, when, what does it even matter? Who cares about what team you got put in? You don't know what being an Orange or Blue or Red means, and the person who put you in it doesn't even say anything to you.
And all that time, you're still thinking about the people you left. You're thinking about the things you can do or what you could do better, but some reason that box you're trapped in, the one you don't get, even though sometimes it does things that shows it understands you - it doesn't say anything. It doesn't do anything about it.
You're all void trains and you can travel and carry people around, but this thing won't give you wheels.
...
...
[ He sighs, staring up at the ceiling, sat near to the ICP. Is he keeping on any point? Is he just venting? ]
We have a lot more problems than just you, [ He finally admits. ] But that's the thing. We're all different people with different ways of thinking, and we come together, sure, but not really. It's hard, we don't know how to.
Most of all, we do our own thing - because it's the only thing we really know.
[ He sits up, another silence filling in. Hands cupped in the lap of his crossed legs. ]
I'm not saying half the things I think about missions. The way we get it into our heads to just care about 'em, to do a good job; like that's what we should do. 'Cause it's the only thing we can do.
... I started hating doing them - saving people. [ There's something bitter but quiet in the confession. Hating saving people. Hating being out there to help. ] Thinking, this is all I'm here for. It's all I'm going to do. I was brought here because you need Voidtreckers, and out there, there's people who were with me that you brought here that I don't know where they are anymore, and we're never gonna be able to change anything. We're never gonna take them home, we're never going to get anywhere because everything - everything's up to you.
[ He doesn't shout it, doesn't quite stress it angrily. Instead it's hopeless, lacking - a lack of faith in the driver, and why should there be any?
Sitting quietly, lost in a haze of old feelings, fresh thoughts. ]
You shut off the translators when the Ministry message got through. You made it hard for us to talk to anyone. Everyone saying you're just doing your best, you wouldn't be doing any of this if you didn't have a good reason.
You know? We figured that out ages ago, but it doesn't mean you know what you're doing. So what if you've got a brain and you can look up all the stuff out there in the void better than we can?
You're just one train - and we're all just one train or guy when we do things alone.
You know what a Voidtrecker is, but you don't know what teamwork is.
[ He reaches over, know he's going to be done for now, a hand ready to submit it. ]
Sounds like a pretty lousy thing to be, if you ask me, [ he gets out, before ending the post. ]
orchestra 15
[ A complaint and bunch of words that likely mean nothing to the train, but he's still saying them. He'll grumble if he wants to!! ]
Okay, so, where did I finish yesterday even? Talking about missions? I know I didn't get that far. Just talking about the first day? Mm- I was thinking about that first mission. Gyueran - first mission for me anyway.
I didn't mind it. It sounded scary and like we'd be thrown into a giant mess, and we really were, but I got used to fighting back in Spira.
--You know that's why I get mad about weapons though, right? [ right, that. ] Not just that mission. I only got a weapon 'cause a guy on the train could make us for them, so he made a copy of a sword I used back on Spira. But if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have anything!
And sure, you let us have weapons now, but you don't even see the problem of keeping them back, or why having nothing until you get points is a pain! You know you can be out there doing something, doing the job someone else even thinks you can do, but you don't have anything to do with it? And what if you're no good at of the jobs the other teams are doing? You want us to help people, but you don't give us anything to do that with?
It's like telling you to take us somewhere without a map! Sure, I can give you a map ... if you earn it. Also, if you don't get there soon, people are gonna die.
[ Does it make sense now? How can he be any clearer than that? He sits in the silence, not feeling entirely satisfied.
Ugh. ]
I don't know what's best. Weapons aren't the end all be all, anyway. A bunch of people don't know how to fight. They don't know how to fix things, they don't know how to help people. We scramble and we get the job done anyway, but - I just want to know people are going to be safe out there. That they're not gonna feel useless, that they've got something they can help with, ways to help. It's hard, you know?
You buy what you can with points, you buy what you know, but you know there could be better out there too, something else worth getting, something easier to understand. You try coming together and talking to everyone about it, and everyone's got their own ideas - they make team leads, they make councils, they want to do their best. But then they want to do everything their way, or they feel responsible and like they have to take the lead, take everything on their shoulders, decide everything. And then there's caring about what team you're in, when, what does it even matter? Who cares about what team you got put in? You don't know what being an Orange or Blue or Red means, and the person who put you in it doesn't even say anything to you.
And all that time, you're still thinking about the people you left. You're thinking about the things you can do or what you could do better, but some reason that box you're trapped in, the one you don't get, even though sometimes it does things that shows it understands you - it doesn't say anything. It doesn't do anything about it.
You're all void trains and you can travel and carry people around, but this thing won't give you wheels.
...
...
[ He sighs, staring up at the ceiling, sat near to the ICP. Is he keeping on any point? Is he just venting? ]
We have a lot more problems than just you, [ He finally admits. ] But that's the thing. We're all different people with different ways of thinking, and we come together, sure, but not really. It's hard, we don't know how to.
Most of all, we do our own thing - because it's the only thing we really know.
[ He sits up, another silence filling in. Hands cupped in the lap of his crossed legs. ]
I'm not saying half the things I think about missions. The way we get it into our heads to just care about 'em, to do a good job; like that's what we should do. 'Cause it's the only thing we can do.
... I started hating doing them - saving people. [ There's something bitter but quiet in the confession. Hating saving people. Hating being out there to help. ] Thinking, this is all I'm here for. It's all I'm going to do. I was brought here because you need Voidtreckers, and out there, there's people who were with me that you brought here that I don't know where they are anymore, and we're never gonna be able to change anything. We're never gonna take them home, we're never going to get anywhere because everything - everything's up to you.
[ He doesn't shout it, doesn't quite stress it angrily. Instead it's hopeless, lacking - a lack of faith in the driver, and why should there be any?
Sitting quietly, lost in a haze of old feelings, fresh thoughts. ]
You shut off the translators when the Ministry message got through. You made it hard for us to talk to anyone. Everyone saying you're just doing your best, you wouldn't be doing any of this if you didn't have a good reason.
You know? We figured that out ages ago, but it doesn't mean you know what you're doing. So what if you've got a brain and you can look up all the stuff out there in the void better than we can?
You're just one train - and we're all just one train or guy when we do things alone.
You know what a Voidtrecker is, but you don't know what teamwork is.
[ He reaches over, know he's going to be done for now, a hand ready to submit it. ]
Sounds like a pretty lousy thing to be, if you ask me, [ he gets out, before ending the post. ]