video | orchestra one, immediately post platform

[jingyeets]

( Lan Jingyi, appearing briefly on ICP, soaked from head to toe, actively dripping water with his hair and ribbon plastered down either side of his face, his, er, nightgown likewise... plastered... against him... and it's white, this is a wet shirt contest and no one told anyone who showed up on platform, they all just suffered together. )

Look, if anyone's trying to find me and is confused why I'm not in my tiny short bed cabin, I'm staying in the "inn" carriage the next week.

( that's it, that's him wanting to inform the ones who'd probably want to know but being in a less than happy mood to track everyone down so doing it in the most broadreaching, effective way the train's got going for it. )

Comments

[deferences]

No, we aren't, but I— [sizhui stops, reconsidering, taking another quick breath then shaking his head. nevermind what he said, it doesn't matter now, not when jingyi has already stated that he isn't busy.

he nods.] Mm, that sounds like a good idea. [after all the cold rain and all.]

And you better not go anywhere, [comes the halfway playful threat. (seriously though, if jingyi ends up leaving, there just might be a riot following shortly thereafter—)

in jingyi's defense, however, it makes sense to want a little more room and privacy; sizhui sure misses his and a-qing's double room.]

[jingyeets]

( Jingyi pauses, a hold on all movement that has him stilling, head cocked just a touch to the side. )

I wouldn't try.

( Is all he can say. He wouldn't try to leave, he wouldn't ask to leave, and leave behind his friends first. Sizhui of all, no matter the inconsistencies between their two lives, the two people they expect each other to be, and who they're close to, imperfect matches as they might be. Jingyi is many things, but that particular kind of selfish, no. )

I would never try to leave you behind.

( Framed as the way it has to be: he would not, but cannot promise, things he's told Inigo before, things he feels Sizhui inherently understands. Even as their fellow friend, as Wen Sizhui left this platform, none of it is choice; none of them have been so unwise to make promises, I won't go.

Still, saying that he wouldn't try, that he wouldn't want to, has to mean something too. That acknowledging certain inevitabilities beyond their control doesn't mean, in turn, that he embraces them. )

[deferences]

[he's holding his breath without realizing it but after jingyi says he wouldn't try to leave him behind, sizhui exhales; it's fair to say, as none of them have any control over who comes and goes, yet it still feels reassuring.]

I know.

[and he does, he's well-aware jingyi would never, ever— not purposefully. neither of them would willingly let the other stay stuck behind on a train if there was even the slightest chance they could depart together. (though there are a lot of people sizhui'd like to take along with him now too and there's no way they would be allowed something like that... not in a million years, no matter how much pleading, bargaining or anger.)]

I know you wouldn't, not on purpose. [wen sizhui is exactly why too; they never would've let him leave if there had been a choice and him departing without so much as a single goodbye also speaks volumes that none of them can decide when it happens.

it does mean something, especially to lan sizhui, knowing even his alternate universe best friend wouldn't leave him behind and vice-versa.]

[jingyeets]

Good, you should know that.

( An evaluating look, and he clarifies: )

I'm showering, you're welcome to come over whenever, I can open the door before then.

( There's no need to wait, he means, and if he's got anything like modesty (and he does, plenty, just not in certain circumstances), none of it applies with his best friend. Here or gone, on train or at home. )

[deferences]

[rather than repeat and reiterate himself, sizhui nods understandingly, straightens his posture then smiles, albeit faintly.]

Okay, I'm coming over while you do.

[mostly since he doesn't want to be alone any longer than he has to, but also because he's sure jingyi can use the company sooner too. waiting while he showers isn't a big deal at all, sizhui's got ways of entertaining himself until he's finished and then they can hang out proper-like afterward.]

[jingyeets]

( between the three cabins and one shower on the upper level of the carriage, one obviously has a ticket parked in it; jingyi's, left for sizhui to let himself in. if it means jingyi has to knock later, so be it.

and he does shower, returning to the inn cabin almost half a shichen later, still wet, but not sopping damp. unless sizhui manages to keep the door open the whole time, he knocks to be let in, wearing his inner robe (which, well, was still damp like earlier, but why bother with anything else for the short walk down the hall) and a towel helping catch the water dripping from his hair. )

Hey. How're you doing?

[deferences]

[and let himself in he does, all wrapped up inside the blanket from his own cabin. sizhui plops on the edge of the bed, waiting for jingyi, eyes shut in silent meditation; the usual train sounds and his breathing are what he's concentrating on, hoping it's enough of a distraction while he sits tight. (funny, given his current position—)

but as soon as jingyi's knock comes, he squirms free of his comforter, clambers upright and skitters toward the door, opening it without hesitation.

it's instinctive to reach out and hug him, though sizhui resists, backpedaling a couple steps to let jingyi come in, a hand lifting so he can teeter it.] It comes and goes, [said truthfully. his features faintly lift, however, and he also admits,] But seeing you helps. [once he makes his way back toward the bed, he slumps down onto it again then sprawls across his blanket.] How are you doing though?

[jingyeets]

I'm annoyed. Frustrated. For once even tired.

( a short list of things, and he keeps using the towel on his hair's ends, up to the point where he makes it to the dresser he'd unpacked his scant belongings into earlier. slipping back out of his wetter than it had been inner robe, he tosses it over the chair, firmly bundling his hair before he hunts down the boxers he treats as indecently short but functional sleep pants when his robes haven't been functional. on they go, with him twisting around and losing the towel into a wet thump to the ground while he attaches the tied down section that goes over the top of his tail so the shorts stay in place, given they can't have the same elastic or similar bands he's seen when doing laundry. )

If it's not the train being stupid, it's the people on the train being stupid, or it's the ministry off being stupid, and the stupid lack of answers we have, the stupider lack of choice we have in deciding where we go or when we go, and the stupidest reality that none of us are exactly the people we think we each should be to be as familiar with each other as we think we are and ugh, Sizhui.

( still frowning, he starts to drag his fingers through the fur at the small of his back, the small breeze warm and following where his fingers direct it. )

[deferences]

Understandable. [watching from where he's laying, sizhui questioningly tilts his head, props up an elbow and rests his cheek against it with a soundless sigh.

everything jingyi says hits the nail right on the head in this situation, piercing it deeper, tearing open a wound he'd temporarily bandaged by telling himself there was nothing they could do without answers; it's still true, nevertheless, but beneath his usual calm demeanor, there lurks something ugly: anger, and he hates how it lingers, buzzing like an irritated hornet's nest he can't escape. without realizing, he's shifted again, burrowed underneath his blanket, the edges pulled taut and tucked underneath his chin while he's eyeing jingyi's feet for now.

after he has some form of cover, sizhui's attention upturns, his lips briefly pinched. following a soft sigh,] I know, Jingyi, I feel the same way. [annoyed, frustrated, tired and definitely agreeing that so much of it is stupid despite his not saying it outright. so much so, he's only just now realizing how his hands tremble a little when clenching around the comforter.

there's a slow, steady inhale that comes out in another huff then he rolls onto his back, arms crossed tight across his chest, effectively blanket-burritoing himself. at least we've gotten past the last one for the most part? or so he hopes.] Would you like help with your fur?

[jingyeets]

( part of his response is to flop his tailtip and all its damp fur closer to his friend's burrito'd self. )

Tail if you want.

( the rest he has handled, and isn't sick, to need tending to in that way, but the tufted tails they all have are an easier mutual grooming point that he'd appreciate, partly to settle down when he's frustrated at the nothing he can directly do. he likes doing. for the most part, he's better at it, and supporting as needed, but still... )

Wanna write out complaints and tie them on practise dummies later?

[deferences]

[without second-guessing (and perhaps even halfway smiling as he does), sizhui shifts until he's mostly upright, dipped forward a bit over jingyi's tail, both hands immediately working on disentangling his fur.

if he wants? of course he wants to help, it's in his nature to always do so!

he eventually shrugs his blanket off for better arm movement, nimble fingers combing, gentle yet steady while he considers lan jingyi's offer; it's a far better idea than losing it over people leaving like is usually common practice. part of sizhui's coping method has been screaming and-slash-or crying himself hoarse into a pillow (which is a great release for pent-up emotions and all but does leave his poor throat raw).

a nod,] That sounds like a terrific idea. Definitely better than what I'd had planned... after visiting you, of course.

[jingyeets]

It's hours and hours before anything like sleep. Once I'm dried, we can get to writing.

( writing out the slips of paper certainly due for their complaints, to fight those metaphorical demons of the heart and mind in a constructive way, not to let them take over anything in their heads or hearts.

no deviations, only forward momentum, and taking it out on practise dummies was safe and therapeutic at the same time.

that said, he concentrates more on his warm breeze moving through the fur at his lower back and down to the base of his tail and further, while the tip of his tail lies obedient to sizhui's ministrations. )

[deferences]

Thankfully. [considering he's the exact opposite of tired at the moment.] We have time, regardless of how long that may take.

[besides, jingyi's letting him brush his tail right now, which is a huge win in his book and so he's happily focused on that for however long it'll be. (taking his meticulous, steady motions into account, it could take longer than usual, but jingyi will certainly have the most well-groomed tail aboard the train!)

the writing in and of itself will be curative too, as they can write whatever they want to later attach to a dummy they'll destroy, metaphorically ridding themselves of their problems (yet also sort of physically in some sense).]

Ahhh, [he drawls, brow wrinkled while his fingers work gingerly over a particular spot.] Seems like my next train order ought to include a proper comb to help with tasks such as these.