Never have I ever made a fool of myself [video, nebula 17]

[monkeyinthewrench]

What's up, party people?

[ And here's a cheerful wave from a man in orange, seated in his room with a mug of...something. ]

If we haven't met yet, my name's Jake. Jake Peralta, your clues guy. I'm down to poke things with sticks and solve mysteries! Sooner we figure out what the train's entire deal is, where we're going and all that, the better, right? But in the meantime, I thought it'd be fun to get to know my new squad!

Anyways, I was wondering if anyone would be down to play a little Earth game called Never Have I Ever. How it works is you say something totally cool, or weird, or boring that you haven't done. And anybody who has done it has to take a drink. Unfortunately, I'm as broke here as I was back home, so I can't supply the booze. And we should probably be setting a good example, right?

So just drink whatever you have! Be that water, juice, milk, coffee...or if you happen to have a proper adult beverage on you, go ahead and drink responsibly. You ready? Great, I'll start: never have I ever gone skydiving!

((ooc: it's a big mingle format! Go ahead and add new 'never have I ever' statements as new toplevels, and threadhop all you want.))

Comments

[irrationally]

[ Okay, okay. At least Alice won't comment on it apparently taking that long to understand what you feel, since she doesn't even know what it feels like to feel that way for anyone.

But what she can say here is: ]

.. you liked someone on the train?

[mynameisallen]

Yeah. It's odd I know, but I did. They...were from the last place I was at and happened to come here to. They were really amazing, but... as I said they went back.

[That was just his luck though really. So he wasn't surprised.]

It's a good thing really. I just decided to focus to my mission instead. [Those kinds of feelings take the back burner now. He's worried it would happen again.]

[irrationally]

[ ... ]

Allen, are you really alright?

[ She knows the answer to that - at least to some degree - has got to be 'no.' Even though he's trying to not make it sound that way. But Alice is giving him another chance to come clean here, rather than shoving some emotions he is most likely experiencing down and out of sight. ]

[mynameisallen]

[But Alice, pushing down emotions is what he does best. Better to be the only one hurt than hurt others. But he also knows Alice is very good at seeing through his bullshit.]

Depends on what you mean by that exactly? Because context does change my answer. I will though take a guess that you mean am I alright in focusing on my mission instead of experiencing emotions that odds are likely I wouldn't exactly experience again.

[irrationally]

No. I mean to ask if those emotions truly do not bother you, or if you were just pretending that they don't bother you.

[ That's the whole reason she's fussing. Because she knows the type of person Allen is by now - he will try to carry more and more of a burden until it threatens to crush him.

And she's not going to let that happen if she can help it in the slightest. ]

[mynameisallen]

I'm not sure if I get how they would bother me? Like they ever prevented me from doing what I needed to or anything.

I might be wrong in what you mean though.

[irrationally]

...

[ Alice thinks he's definitely wrong in trying to understand her here. Because she's starting to look more and more confused as she listens to him. Is this some huge misunderstanding, or is there something really wrong with Allen? ]

Are you trying to say that you have.. never felt bad before?

[mynameisallen]

No. I have moments when I feel bad, upset and feel negative emotions and I can express them quite easily. But at the same time I know I can't stay in that sort of state for ages either.

It's honestly hard to actually explain for me but either way I can express feeling bad, I just won't spend too long staying in that state. The feeling will always be there when I remember that moment though just won't show it after the initial.

[irrationally]

Well.. yes, technically no one can stay in one emotional state forever.

[ Not without shutting down, anyway. Boy, does Alice ever know everything about that, but this isn't about her. So she shakes her head after that half-dry remark, continuing with a bit more empathy - or perhaps just a tone that seems to indicate she's trying really hard to understand him here. ]

But from the way you describe it, it almost sounds as if you are actively suppressing your emotions when you feel that they are unproductive.

[mynameisallen]

I mean technically I should be for things like missions back home due to the nature of them, but aren't. But I prefer to... How do I put it?

[He pauses for a moment.]

Express when it happens but after I just need to keep moving forward down the path I choose. Bad as that sounds it's not like I'm forgetting the past. It's still there and is a part of who I am.

[irrationally]

[ .. it sounds confusing to her. If he's putting so much emphasis on moving on, yet at the same time still not forgetting his past, is he.. really moving on then? Those things aren't really compatible, right?

But Alice feels like she'll just get a headache if she continues down this line of questioning, so she figures she might as well boil it all down to the most important point. ]

Well, as long as you are not wrecking yourself, I suppose.

[mynameisallen]

I try not to anyway.

[At least that made sense.]