voidtreckernet | video/action

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[Video]

[ Della's face pops up looking... well, like everyone else - exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. She smacks her beak a bit, before speaking. ]

... So. That sucked.

[ Fully aware that's the understatement of the century, Della draws a breath, and tries again. ]

I think we could all use a nice, long breather after everything... and, gosh darn it, as Train Mom, that is my sacred duty. Hugs? Head on the lap? Head-pats telling you that you did a good job? A shoulder to cry on? Venting out all your feelings without judgement? I'm right here.

[ She slaps her chest, then slaps a small sign on on the sports/gym car. It reads

EXHAUST PILE WITHIN

But as she does this, Tidus enters the scene - Della jumps, surprised, almost forgetting his presence.

He just smiles, holding up two cups with steam coming off them, then addresses the video feed as well. ]

We're also making big batches of cocoa too. Any of you that're gonna stress bake? There's room for that room - s'long as you don't need a nap first.

[ It's a small chide though, his smile small but sympathetic. ]

I've gotten out some incense pots from the supplies - you guys who got your head thrown into a blender by that aash-- uh, that jerk, [ he takes a swift glance at Della, then back ] --it'll help you relax. Just some, but better than nothin'. I'll set some off in Momma Duck's air nest, but if you're not doing great and you think you need a pot? Tell me. Raven made a lot of good stuff for good nights sleep if you need any in the medcar, too.

... So, yes. Cocoa. Incense. Hugging. And if you want to sleep with friends for a couple nights, we got air beds and extra pillows in here. Nobody has to get up and go until they feel ready.

And if that's not enough, that's fine too. Maybe next month we do something a little more organized, if you have any suggestions - movie night, sleepover night, big eat night, whatever, I'm listening. And I'm here for you.

[ Action ]

And inside the sports gym, the pair can be found. They have a few airbeds blown up, but there's more that still need airing up if you pop in straight after their message. There's also a tremendous amount of pillows. If you want to help, get blowing, and make these airbeds look nice and comfy!

The transgate from the standard coach has mysteriously been moved to the sports gym's outer hallway. Who did that? But it makes it easier to bring in the cups of hot chocolate from the kitchens, and for anyone who wants to bring snacks to do so. Take a seat, remember to bring your sleeping bag and whatever else you want. Plushes, your own musical instrument to offer some de-stress medication of your own with a melody.

And there's an area where small incense pots burn away, a gentle mist rising up. It won't heal the mind completely, but it will offer it some peace. And if you're worried about nightmares, a few of Raven's sachets and teas are available.

So come get a mom hug. Come and offer hugs. Just come and get something out of the company, whatever it is. Tidus and Della - and others - will be here to give a hand.

The life you had might've been fake, but the people around you aren't.

((OOC: consider this a mingling post, where everyone is free to tag everyone else! be the comforter, the one offering comfort, both, whatever!))

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He didn't exactly expect Ryo to ask him to join in, but at the same time, it's not like Inigo minds it either. He was content just watching a tired Ryo settle in like that, getting some of the comfort and rest he deserves, but it's not like Inigo is ever going to say no to snuggle time with a fried.

.. because.. well, even if it's not exactly an intentional snuggle time, it's not like there's that much space in the pillow nest. There's enough for two people to fit, but it's a tight squeeze, so their bodies end up pretty close to each other.

Which Inigo doesn't mind - he's a physically affectionate guy, after all - but he's not so sure if that's the case for Ryo. So once he's lying down and settled in, he smiles as the other as he asks: "Is this okay?"

It's cool if you're awkward or uncomfortable with this, bro. He'll understand.

Inigo lays down next to him - close, because that's what the composition of the pillow pile demands - and a sudden bout of homesickness rolls over Ryo like a wave, subsuming him completely, to the point where, for a few moments, he forgets just how exhausted he is.

He's missed this.

Saash had cuddled with him on his bunk while she was here, sure, but it's not the same as lying next to another person; as hearing Endon murmur nonsense in his sleep; as feeling Orion's warmth, because fire mages always run hot; as knowing the contact was there, that he could simply lean in and feel warm, feel safe-

Oh gods he misses them. The only time he hadn't missed them was when the illusion had made him forget them, and now-

And now here's Inigo, lying next to him, smiling and asking him if the comfort that he's been craving and missing like a hole in his heart is okay.

"Yeah," he manages, voice quiet. And then, before he can stop himself - because it's okay to ask for what he wants; they'd taught him that and he still has trouble remembering it sometimes, but-

"Can I have a hug?"

It's a bit of a surprise to hear those words. Not that Inigo minds hugs, that's not the problem. It's just that he didn't expect this coming from Ryo - the other didn't exactly seem like the hugs type, but maybe it's just since Inigo is realising that it's not like he really knows Ryo super well, huh? Not well enough to be able to determine whether the other is a huggy sort of person or not.

Maybe it's just something he's learning now, he thinks, as Inigo lets out a low laugh.

"Of course."

(It's just funny, okay. Usually he's the one asking other people for it, so it's a little funny to be the one being asked now.)

He shifts a little to press himself even closer to Ryo, and then wraps his arms around the other to hold Ryo against his warm body.

He nearly pulls back at the laugh - should he not have asked? What did he do wrong? - but-

Oh. That's a yes.

Oh.

Inigo scoots in and holds him, and Ryo wraps an arm around him and buries his face in Inigo's shoulder, and for a moment it all still hurts - it's not Orion, or Endon, or Ryoga, and he still misses them badly, but-

But he's not alone. Inigo is here, helping him, holding him, and that means so much more than he could ever say.

The moment passes, and Ryo slowly relaxes. He'd missed this. He'd needed this - someone who's willing to hold him and just let him breathe, and relax, and feel...safe. The ache isn't gone - it won't be gone until he sees his friends again, he thinks - but this is okay. This is good, actually. This helps.

He's silent as he turns the thoughts over in his mind, one by one, and slowly lets them drift away. For now, he can just...have this, and feel better. "Thank you," he finally says, voice barely above a whisper.

Inigo is more than content just lying here like this. Surrounded by soft pillows, holding a warm body in his arms. Sure, he may never really have hugged Ryo before, so the feeling of the body is slightly unfamiliar, but not in a bothersome way. It's just new, and Inigo easily adjust - just closing his eyes and letting himself sink into the feeling as well for a few moments, breathing softly.

(He looks like he could fall asleep like this, honestly. Because he totally could.)

He only slowly opens his eyes when he hears Ryo speak up. But he doesn't move away at all, nor does he make any indication that Ryo should. He's still holding the other just as much, even though Inigo laughs so lightly that it's almost more breath than sound.

"You sound like I just promised you an entire kingdom's worth of gold or something," he gently quips. But most since he's trying to make a point here. "Getting a hug isn't so hard here, you know. All you have to do is ask. Della always hands these out like they're candy."

Ryo is exhausted and warm and safe, in a way he hasn't felt in a very long time, all of which means he's nearly asleep in Inigo's arms when Inigo speaks. The comments almost don't process, and he gets a bit stuck on the first one - who would want that much gold? Too much coin is dangerous, and this is much better - before the rest of it slowly sinks in. He...he really should have known this by now, but knowing something and taking it to heart are two different things.

"I'm bad at asking." It's a murmur into Inigo's shoulder, not so much an excuse as it is the quiet, unvarnished truth. Normally, he wouldn't be so forthcoming about it - normally, he may not even realize it - but it turns out exhaustion removes a lot of filters. "My friends just...know."

(The friends that aren't currently here. This may be where some of his problems stem from.)

But his friends aren't here, Inigo also thinks. He's tactful enough to not say it out loud, considering that sort of thought can't be easy on anyone - it's not like it's ever been easy on Inigo either, all this time he's already been stuck on the train.

Though it is that thought that leads Inigo to what he does say.

"That's exactly why you have to tell people here." Because they can't read minds. People here may not know Ryo as well as his friends back home did, especially if he's known them for a longer while. "Even if it's just once. So they know."

Especially since Inigo has encountered people here who aren't as hug-crazy, and might not naturally think of doing something like this.

"It's not like opening up to people here is that bad, right?" He says, softly.

It makes sense. People here don't know him that well, and they aren't going to know him if he doesn't tell them. You're allowed to ask for what you want. It's a lesson he'd learned at home, even if he backslides sometimes, and he needs to do better at remembering it.

But Inigo continues on, and his mind wanders down that new line of thought. He hasn't been opening up to people - only when he's falling apart and in desperate need of comfort - and...well, there's good reason for that. There are so many people here who are hurting, who need that same help, and he's a healer; who is he to lean on them when they need that support themselves? Isn't that selfish?

"I'm supposed to take care of them," is all he says, not really realizing that his train of thought has taken him away from the original question.

Thankfully it's a statement Inigo can understand even without it really fitting the question that he was asking in the first place. After all, it's the exact same attitude Inigo has - making his advice here perhaps a tad hypocritical, but.. well, he's the one who's surpressing his own trouble better at the moment, apparently, so clearly that gives him the right to be a little hypocritical. It's for Ryo's own good, anyway.

"And how long do you think you can do that?" Inigo's voice is still soft, as if he doesn't want to startle Ryo when the other is tired, but he figures he's probably getting the message across anyway. "It's not like you're a god, or anything like that. Humans have limits. If you don't ever allow anyone to take care of you, even if it's just once in a while, you'll crumble."

Thank Naga for Inigo's pokerface in situations like these, rendering him able to say this casually, naturally, as if it doesn't directly apply to himself as well.

"And then you can't take care of anyone anymore."

He listens to Inigo and considers, thoughts ebbing and flowing in exhaustion and...something else. Some emotion he can't name yet. He knows his limits, right? He knows when he can't heal anymore. He-

He's pushed himself to the point of collapse, more than once, because the alternative was letting a friend die and he can't do that - he won't do that. He'd pushed himself to collapse a few days ago helping get displaced people back home, but he wasn't the only one who did that, and then-

And then Otoha was hurt, and Ryo couldn't heal him. He did his best - he did his job - right up until he couldn't. And even now, he still can't. His magic is still dormant, buried under exhaustion. Even if something happened and he was needed, he couldn't- he wouldn't be able to-

And then you can't take care of anyone anymore.

He doesn't remember if he'd told Inigo that his healing magic doesn't work when he's injured. Regardless, Inigo has found the exact right words to slide under his skin and strike at the heart of the matter, and it's only when his next breath is shaky that Ryo realizes he's crying. He wants to help- he wants to help- what is he going to do if he can't help-

(It's guilt. That emotion he couldn't name is guilt over his inability to help anyone now, even though he'd done all he could on the mission and he knows there are others who can help. He still can't. It still hurts.)

He clings to Inigo and buries his face in Inigo's shoulder, crying silently and trembling. He can't find any words right now; it's all emotions making their way out.

So this is what it feels like to be on the other side of sudden tears, huh, Inigo can't help but think.

Because usually he's the one who starts crying when anyone - including himself - least expects it, but right now he is instead the one who doesn't quite see Ryo's tears coming until they're already right there. Almost overwhelmingly so.

Thankfully Inigo doesn't mind dealing with it though. He just pulls Ryo even a little closer in his hold, rubbing a gentle hand up and down the other's back to try and soothe him. He remembers his mom doing that for him, back when he was so, so much younger than he is now.

"Hey, it's okay.." He says softly, practically a whisper. "Just let it all out."

Ryo can use his words when he's able to do so once more. It's fine to just cry for a moment, as long as it means he's actually dealing with his emotions.

Inigo pulls him a little closer and reassures him, and it's all the permission he needs to let go, sobbing helplessly into Inigo's shoulder. It's all still silent - he learned to cry without making any noise a long time ago, and the habit has stuck with him - but the shaking is unmistakable.

It's a while before he cries himself out, before all that stress and pressure and guilt and fear finally leaves his body, but eventually the sobbing lessens and stops. His breathing is still hitched and shaky, and he has not let go of Inigo - he may not for a while yet - but the worst has passed.

(The emotions aren't gone - not really. He still feels bad that he's too exhausted to help anyone, afraid of what will happen if he's needed and he can't do anything, hurt by the illusions of the past few months, but it's...manageable, now. The pressure has been released, and what's left is little enough to be numbed by exhaustion and soothed by a comforting presence. Thank the gods for Inigo.)

It's still a bit before he calms himself enough to talk, and his words are quiet, spoken half into Inigo's shoulder. "I got your shirt wet." As though that's the salient part of the past few minutes.

To be fair, he is still very tired.

It takes a long while, but thankfully Inigo doesn't mind. Considering the sheer amount of experience he has with crying - so much, so much of it - he knows that these things sometimes need time. Especially when you've been cropping things up for a while already now, and it all comes out at once.

So he doesn't interrupt. He just keeps holding Ryo close, hopefully keeping him comfortable. Maybe sometimes giving him a little squeeze when a sob seems particularly sad and painful.

Even when the trying stills, Inigo vows to not be the first one to move or speak. He wants to give Ryo the opportunity to do so first when he finally feels comfortable. And then what comes from the other guy's mouth..

.. is that.

It makes Inigo laugh. Not loudly, but it's definitely a soft chuckle between the two of them.

"Oh nooo, what will I do? Now I'll have to take it off in some really cliched sexy moment, right?" It's an obvious joke, judging by his tone. Just something to clear the air a little before he moves on, considering he knows exactly that the next question, the one on the tip of his tongue, can be rather heavy in the other's state. He keeps holding on to the other though. At least for the moment. ".. How are you feeling now?"

Edited 2021-08-12 14:29 (UTC)

The laugh...helps, honestly. A laugh, and toothless mild dramatics to ease the situation, and...it all feels like home. The most he manages is a huff - it would be a laugh if he had any more energy to spare - and a soft "ohhhh nooooo" in that same dramatic tone. They're on the same page. He gets this. It's good.

(Please don't take it off, Inigo, he doesn't have the energy to be a disaster bi right now. Save it for later.)

He takes a breath and sighs it out, taking an extra moment or two to gather himself. "Better," he says quietly, because that much is the truth, at least. "Tired, but better." He might fall asleep - like this, on Inigo - if he's not careful.

"Good," Inigo immediately replies.

After all, he knows that you don't always feel better after having a huge cry. Sometimes you just feel like a baby, or any other negative feelings start to creep up on you. But it seems that the kind of cry Ryo just had really was the relieving kind - in which case he's just glad he could help the other.

While he keeps holding on to the other with one arm, the other loosens just a little bit - just enough so his hand can move to the back of Ryo's head, ruffling his hair there a little.

"You should try to sleep some now." Ryo looks so tired. "I'm not going anywhere, so if you need anything when you wake up, I'll be right here."

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