Backdated to Kazoo 16 - Late, late evening | Audio | Aimed at Close CR

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ Peter doesn't sound nearly as cheerful as he normally does this time, instead he sounds subdued and just exhausted. ]

S-so uh...

[ He sucks in a breath and rubs his eyes a moment. ] I guess I'm gonna be in Medical for tonight.

Before anyone starts freaking out-I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm healing-And I'll probably be mostly healed up by tomorrow or in two days at most.

And uh, Buttercup? I know I said I'd help you with that thing you asked about, but I think I may have to push that back a little.

Also, um can someone bring me My DS? I left it in the dressing car and I don't know if I'm allowed to leave just yet.

Comments

[icedamericano]

[ But he could and there's even a chance that Steve might listen to him. Unfortunately, mindreading doesn't come with the super-soldier serum, so Peter is going to have to vocalize his opinions. Out loud.

And until he does that, his guest is going to settle into a chair and flip open his sketchbook to a new page. Three guesses as to who the subject is going to be. ]

Depends on how bad the break is. Couple of hours, maybe. Why?

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ He really isn’t sure he could. It’d be rude and also who in their right mind would want to tell him to go away. ]

N-no reason. Just curious. [ and not at all because he has several right now. ]

...

Have you ever um-done something slightly different and because you did, someone ended up getting hurt?

[icedamericano]

[ ... idk, someone who doesn't want him hovering and mother-henning? which would be fair. ]

Uh. Mostly everything I do gets someone hurt. [ physically and/or emotionally. ] Is something going on?

[hashtagparkerluck]

That's-that's a mood.

[ Peter sighs softly, picking at the sleeve of his hoodie. ]

No, not really. Just.. can't really help but think if I'd done something different or hadn't hesitated that-well that certain things maybe... wouldn't have happened.

[icedamericano]

What's a mood?

[ he's caught up on a bunch of slang, but some of it still makes him go 'O.o' ]

Oh, yeah. I've been there. A lot. If you'd just gotten there sooner, thrown a punch differently, talked someone into another choice. [ He sighs, setting down pencil and pad. ] Thing is, Peter, is second-guessing yourself is okay if you learn from it.

But you can't let it stop you from making choices at all. We make choices, we live with the consequences, and we go forward.

[hashtagparkerluck]

Oh.

[ Right, Cap is not super updated on the gen-z slang. Especially if he's from-what 2014? ] Uh-it just means 'I can relate' or 'same'

[ Peter listens to the advice though and it sounds an awful lot like something his therapist told him. ]

I don't. Not-not usually. But it uh-it's harder to not think about it when you know that something you did-or didn't do ended up getting someone killed.

[icedamericano]

Ah. I'll try to remember that. Thanks.

[ He's up to date on some things, thanks to Stark's habit of getting rambly.

Also, Steve can't help it if he remembers everything the military shrinks told him after being thawed out. ]

... Yeah. Yeah, I know how that feels. I'm sorry you do as well.

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ Peter just shrugs, messing with his sleeves still. It's less dismissive and more a way of hiding how he actually feels about it. ]

I'll never not help someone again. So I guess there's that. Still, I just-I can't help but wish that it hadn't happened-that I hadn't been put in that position.

[icedamericano]

[ Steve can't help but think back to what happened in his life right before the train kidnapped him. Finding out his employer wasn't what he thought, Bucky returning from the dead. Don't make me do this, he'd pleaded during their final fight.

After a moment, he lets out a breath and nods. ]

Yeah. I get that, believe me. [ He reaches up and rakes a hand through his hair. ] There anything I can do to make things less uncomfortable?

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ Peter thinks about it a moment, is there anything Cap can do to make things less uncomfortable? Enhanced painkillers would be nice but he'd fairly certain that's not an option. He'll have to deal with the aching. He just shakes his head after about a minutes ]

I just keep thinking-if I had been a little earlier then I could have saved them both and no one would be dead. I know that's not remotely helpful or healthy but I can't help it.

[icedamericano]

[ Steve is quiet for another couple of minutes, just letting what Peter said float between them. Then, ]

It just means you're human. Everyone second-guesses themselves, including me. [ he hesitates, wondering if he should even offer to listen. The teenager might think its stupid. Maybe it's worth a try, though. ]

Would it help if you talk it out? Just get things off your chest?

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ Peter bites his lower lips a moment, considering it. There's a lot on is chest at any given time and right now it just feels heavy. ]

I don't-I don't really know what to say that wouldn't just sound like-I mean, I've been trough a lot and I try not to let it get me down as much as I can-I try not just... you know, pour all my issues onto people because they're not.. uh, pleasant and my life is kinda a whole content warning.

But at the same time, sometimes it just feels like I can't breathe when I feel like I messed up so bad. I didn't even mess up this time-it was just poor timing.

[prototypal]

You're a kid. You've been through a lot, as you say.

[ There's no judgment visible on Steve's face, and his voice is deliberately low-pitched and calm. ]

And I'm here if you want someone to just listen.

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ He just sucks in a deep breath, still playing with hem of his blanket and sleeves of his shirt. ]

So um, when I first got my powers I-I kinda-I mean I wasn't proud of it-but money was tight-especially because I had a lot of medical issues-like I've been in and out of the ER my whole life and that's expensive-even with May being a Nurse-uh anyway.

So, I wanted to help out and I started-well I joined this underground wrestling thing but you had to be like seventeen at least to join but the grand prize was like 10k so I lied about my age and wore a mask. And I mean, I won, easily. But my grades started going down and May and Ben-uh my aunt and uncle were getting frustrated with me because they uh-they thought I'd lose my scholarship to Midtown Tech and-and we were fighting all the time.

an-anyways, I won the wrestling thing-but the guy refused to pay me because I wasn't technically an employee. So I got mad and stormed out but. [ He pauses a moment, closing his eyes because he can remember that moment so clearly in his head. ]

Someone nearby had robbed a convenience store and I could hear the store owner yelling at me to stop him but I just stepped aside and-and told him it wasn't my job when he got on to me. And that moment just-keeps playing in my head.