[Video] Kazoo 16

[ayao]

Forgive me for being...selfish...

And I warn you, the subject matter of my question might be sensitive...

[But why not make this inquiry here rather than in his world where it would surely bring negative repercussions.]

What are your thoughts on two men being in a relationship? [He doesn't dare say married, but he is drawn to the idea.] Do you perceive it as...wrong? Should the men instead continue their respective lines with wives?

[Heirs are important. Yet can they not be had in other ways? Of course said ways are illegal and immoral in the land he knows.]

Comments

[helborn]

You'll never be happy if you build yourself around what you think your father is, was, or wanted you to be.

[It's blunt, but it has to be said.]

I understand that your society is... different from mine, so I know there'll be complications, including ones I can't understand.

But would you rather be happy with the person you're with, or completely miserable? Because the latter one causes a lot of problems for people that aren't just you.

[ayao]

I understand that now.

[He had been obsessed and blind to the damage he caused himself and others in his quest. The blindfold has been lifted since he boarded the train.]

That's true. [People were murdered because of him. Lives were ripped to shreds and for what reason? His ambition? Disgusting.] I want to be happy with him. More than anything.

[helborn]

Then do it. I know it sounds stupidly easy, but... it's less complicated than you might think.

[He shakes his head.]

... My boyfriend is also expected to continue his line. In our case we have an understanding that he can and will have children with someone else. I'm okay with that, personally. ... Part of it is that we both know our respective charges and paths ahead of us have a historically extremely high mortality rate. If I can be, I'd like to be there for them when possible, though the two of us are from literally different worlds - I was in a place like this before.

But I'd rather work through the difficulties and dangers with him and deal with what society thinks with him than without him. To be fair, neither of us are human, though he's more obviously nonhuman... so that's another reason we get odd looks.

[ayao]

[That's a lot to digest and he takes a moment to let the words sink in.]

My situation seems remarkably less complex when compared to yours. [Except for the future murder spree.] You say he looks nonhuman. What would you call his race?

[Or his species?]

[helborn]

It's not a competition. I just meant to say that I can kind of understand the society issues in that sense...

Um. He's a werewolf. We're the equivalent age, but he was born of a wolf rather than a human. ... It's not like he's got animal-level intelligence, though - he's as smart as any human or equivalent being.

[ayao]

Are you saying a wolf mated with a human? [Or, rather, the other way around? And they had a child?] I have never heard of animals choosing humans for procreation.

[helborn]

Oh... I think his partner is more canine than me in that. I think he could have children with a human when he's in his human form, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to. He's... I remember that werewolves are supposed to never have children with other werewolves, but I don't remember why. It's something forbidden in their code.

But... I mean. If a being is fully capable of having a conversation with you, being an intellectual equal, and capable of giving consent... we're equivalent ages, like I said. He looks like he's in his late teens or early twenties.

[ayao]

Ah so the wolf is a werewolf. [Not a normal wolf. His posture relaxes and he nods.] I am not judging you. I only find bestiality distasteful.

[And being with a werewolf doesn't fall under that...kink.]

[helborn]

... Sorry. Some people are just... weird about it? But I love him and he loves me. No matter what world we're in, we're there for each other. We kind of have blanket permission between us that if it doesn't look like the other's showing up any time soon that we're free to do as we wish.

It's a weird arrangement, but it works. He does what he needs to for his clan and pack - or will, I'm not totally sure where he is right now - and I can do what I'd like if I choose to.

[ayao]

And you feel no jealousy? What about him in regards to you? [That arrangement would drive Meng Yao mad... Well, madder.]

I suppose I am possessive by nature. Once I have what - or who - I want, I do not want to let them go.

[helborn]

Not really. He's his own person, he's not a prize. He already has a little creature he adopted on our travels that's about the equivalent of a human child, and I love her. If and when I get to his world, I'll love his children, too. I would rather people be happy... and yeah, I miss him. It's hard to sleep without him curled up against me.

But I also know that more than anything we want each other to be happy. As long as everyone in the arrangement knows what's going on, there's no problem.

I'm... I guess I'm not that possessive. I grew up around death and the mourning, since my father's business was being the person who takes care of the corpse and the burial. I saw how families argued over things once their loved one was gone. People disowning others because they couldn't agree on who got the money, or the jewelry, or the nice plates. I don't want that to ever be me.

Do I get jealous sometimes? Of course I do. But not of him. When I do get those feelings I try to figure out where they came from. Usually it's just me being lonely, or me having something from my past come up and wish it could be different. I'm not always successful, but... well, I'm a person, too. I have feelings, and those are allowed. Acting to hurt others based on those feelings is a different matter entirely.

[ayao]

["Acting to hurt others based on those feelings is a different matter entirely." Indeed. It seems Meng Yao will spend his future doing just that. Revenge for all the pain he has and will suffer for an outcome that is too awful for him to repeat. That is what jealousy earns him.]

I could learn a great deal from you. [And he should.] When you think of him mating...being with...another, how do you reason through your pain?

[helborn]

... Hm. Well, I understand that his duty is to his people - being what he is he's sworn to protect the planet and nature especially. I understand that it's a numbers game, and not all of his pups will become werewolves anyway. So from a strategic point of view, there's that.

The emotional part... I don't know. It's sort of... if you're friends with someone who has multiple friends, and they're spending a lot of time with one friend, it makes you a little jealous sometimes, right? Because you want to spend time with them, too. But that doesn't mean your friend doesn't like you or that they're not there for you. It just means they're elsewhere right now.

[ayao]

Friends are different from lovers. [He flushes at the word, but his gaze is steady.] I would want my lover's entire attention; I would not want them to have another in the same way they have me.

[helborn]

I guess, I just... it's important to me to be friends with him as well as just a couple. It's... I'm not the kind of person who could just sleep with someone I don't know. Not that there's anything wrong with that, or that there's anything wrong with being monogamous if both of you choose to do so. I just... how to put this.

[He thinks for a moment.]

The emotional connection is more important to me than the one that basically gets your brain drunk on hormones. And I recognize that my view isn't the same as everyone else's, I just... I was alone for a long time, even when I was surrounded by people. The feeling of safety and warmth is more important to me than the weird feeling of infatuation in my stomach.