voidtreckernet

[ The video is late at night - not too late to wake a bunch of people up, but it's definitely different than Della's usual videos where it's an earlier time. Not to mention she kinda... looks like hell. Bags under her eyes, all the usual signs of exhaustion - but it's more than that. She actually looks emotionally beat up. ]

... Hey, guys. I figured I owed a bunch of you an explanation about my behavior last mission. Look, I know a lot of the time I'm all "woo, adventure, let's beat up monsters, yeah!" everywhere we go, but last time I was more... out of control. Not listening to anyone, still trying to fight even when I was literally falling apart... and I am sorry. I shouldn't have to make you guys worry more than you already have to, especially in the middle of a dangerous fight.

... Here's the deal. All of you are amazing, you have to know that on some level. You've got super powers, you've got metal bodies, you've got magic, and even of those of you who are about to say "Oh, I'm just some ordinary human" - you're not. So many of you have amazing abilities with your weapons, brilliant minds that have led kingdoms and companies, you're all wonderful, and should be so proud of yourself. I'm proud of each and every single one of you.

... And all I can do is land a solid punch every now and then. Back home, I... I was on a team. My family. They all had their own special talents too, and when I finally came home, maybe some part of me wondered... if they really needed me after all, since they'd done so well without me for ten years. And now, here I am, and I can't even do the one thing I at least KNOW I'm good at, being a pilot. Here, I'm just... me.

[ She sighs, taking off her pilot's cap to run a hand through her hair. ]

Dang, I didn't mean to ramble. Just... I'm sorry. I'll try to make sure it won't happen again.

... 'Night, guys.

[ For anyone wanting to check in on her, she can be found in the lower-carriage of the library, wordlessly thumbing through her copy of the Junior Woodchuck Guide, though not really reading it. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... That's a large part of it. I feel... out of it, here. Like out of sorts?

[SHe nods]

Like you're used to navigating with certain tools and you don't know which way to go without it.

I kept almost telling my crew to do things instead of the people who were actually around me.

[ That gets a small chuckle of her. ]

... You'll get used to them. All of them. The train is full of... absolutely amazing people.

It is.

The only reason I was able to help out there with nothing to fly is that I can tell who to point at a problem.

... Maybe I could use some pointing too. I've... never been much of a leader. I always left that to my uncle.

Not everyone has to be.

I know you can fly. And you can punch, which isn't useless. What else do you know how to do? Even the things that aren't fighting.

[Maybe especially those]

... It's hard to think of it right now. My mind's got a huge list of all my bad points blocking the good ones.

It's lying.

[They can figure this out]

Do you do your own maintenance on your plane?

Huh? ... Oh, well, yeah. I wouldn't trust anyone else to do it.

Woman after my own heart.

[Sure, she expects the rest of the crew to help but she's the one who makes sure the Ghost is running]

So that means you have some mechanical skills.

[ A light smile. It's not much, but it's there. ]

I can't argue that.

That's a useful skill right there. A lot of the flashy magic crowd can't do that.

... But we don't exactly have any mechanical stuff to work with.

I think I've heard people working on that.

And we don't know what the next world will bring.

[She hopes for fewer demons]

... Yeah, that is true. No two worlds have been alike.

I hope everyone's telling the truth about that last one being unusual.

[It was exhausting, no matter what a person's skillset]

It was. It's never been so... relentless and brutal before.

The war is heating up at home, but that was still exhausting.

I just hope we never have to face anything like that again... Or we get a way better warning in advance.

I'm not sure how much more we would have been able to physically prepare.

[It was pretty overwhelming and they only had what they had on the train]

We could have been in a better place mentally though.

... I'll admit, I probably should have prepared myself better. I went days without sleep before it.

THat's never the best plan.

[She pauses. No lying.]

I've done it, but it's never the best plan.

... I was making little gifts for everyone, trying to lift their spirits. But I might've went overboard.

At least now you know a bit more about pacing yourself.

[It'll probably last until the next crisis, but at least it's something]

[ i mean. accurate. ]

Hopefully it sticks this time.

(no subject)

averyusefultray - 2021-04-20 04:55 (UTC) - Expand