video

[sos_pilot]

[ The video is late at night - not too late to wake a bunch of people up, but it's definitely different than Della's usual videos where it's an earlier time. Not to mention she kinda... looks like hell. Bags under her eyes, all the usual signs of exhaustion - but it's more than that. She actually looks emotionally beat up. ]

... Hey, guys. I figured I owed a bunch of you an explanation about my behavior last mission. Look, I know a lot of the time I'm all "woo, adventure, let's beat up monsters, yeah!" everywhere we go, but last time I was more... out of control. Not listening to anyone, still trying to fight even when I was literally falling apart... and I am sorry. I shouldn't have to make you guys worry more than you already have to, especially in the middle of a dangerous fight.

... Here's the deal. All of you are amazing, you have to know that on some level. You've got super powers, you've got metal bodies, you've got magic, and even of those of you who are about to say "Oh, I'm just some ordinary human" - you're not. So many of you have amazing abilities with your weapons, brilliant minds that have led kingdoms and companies, you're all wonderful, and should be so proud of yourself. I'm proud of each and every single one of you.

... And all I can do is land a solid punch every now and then. Back home, I... I was on a team. My family. They all had their own special talents too, and when I finally came home, maybe some part of me wondered... if they really needed me after all, since they'd done so well without me for ten years. And now, here I am, and I can't even do the one thing I at least KNOW I'm good at, being a pilot. Here, I'm just... me.

[ She sighs, taking off her pilot's cap to run a hand through her hair. ]

Dang, I didn't mean to ramble. Just... I'm sorry. I'll try to make sure it won't happen again.

... 'Night, guys.

[ For anyone wanting to check in on her, she can be found in the lower-carriage of the library, wordlessly thumbing through her copy of the Junior Woodchuck Guide, though not really reading it. ]

Comments

[sos_pilot]

At that point, that was probably the only way anyone could knock me out... And it was for the best. Having people constantly watching my back and not focusing on the fight would have made this much more dangerous for everyone. You did us all a solid, Tidus.

[ She looks down at her lap, disappointed at how much danger she put them in. ]

[blitzcheer]

[ He watches her for a moment, but then comes over to join her, takig a seat next to her; whether on the floor, or on an actual chair. Saying, as he comes down- ]

Yeah, well - you're Mama D. You stopped me from doing something stupid once too. Remember?

[ A while back now, by the turnstile... ]

[sos_pilot]

[ Two chairs for two bros. ]

Yeah, but haven't you felt lately the scale's a little... uneven? How many times have you had to pull me out of the fire before I made things worse?

[blitzcheer]

[ He's trying to think, but...? ]

Weren't you the one who saved me last time? You jumped those demon guys and pulverised them with your leg! And you took on those giants back on Irivar? I wasn't there, [ at least, not often--just once, ] but Roland told me about that club of yours he was saving for you.

And we worked pretty well together in that weird fake...tree world.

[sos_pilot]

Huh... yeah, I guess so.

[ She sighs, rubbing her face with her hands. ]

... I guess when you get like this, it's hard to remember all the good stuff and only see the bad. It's like wearing the opposite of rose-colored glasses... like, thorn covered ones?

[blitzcheer]

I get it. [ If he takes a moment to think about it, and then even then, barely that long- ] ...You know, I didn't know how to fight. Or use magic, or any of that stuff you said about feeling bad about. Before I showed up in Spira... I just played sports. That's who I was, what I did -- I was a blitzball player. And a good one! But- fighting fiends, travelling every day, all that stuff? It was hard. I was surrounded by people who'd had to grow up fighting just to survive, and to be honest...

I mean, there's no lying: I wasn't great at it. Everyone had to watch my back, and Yuna was healing me all the time. [ There's some humour as he admits it, underneath the tale. A humour that he picks up as he holds out a hand over the table. ]

You know? Zanarkand got attacked, and the guy with me said, [ in a gruff voice: ] 'I hope you know how to use it'.

Can you believe it? [ pah! ] I never saw a sword in person 'til then! He was outta his mind!

[ An exaggeration, but his point still stands!! ]

[sos_pilot]

Please tell me you didn't instantly master it and become a pro in, like, three seconds.

[ But she is enjoying the story. It's nice to know more about Tidus and his world, and she's proud of how far he's come. ]

[blitzcheer]

I'm pretty sure I swung the sword once and fell over. [ Wryly. As wryly as that deserves. ]

That's between you and me, okay? ... but what I'm trying to say is, well, [ to bring it back to being a little more serious, ] --it's alright if you're not the same as everyone else. You do what you can do, what you have to to survive. And you're already pretty good - you've got bigger guts than anyone I've seen! You don't hold back!

Why not just...let us help you out too?

[sos_pilot]

...

[ Why not, indeed? Why has Della been so stubborn about asking others for help? Friends have offered magic, weapons, all sorts of things, without her even asking... so why doesn't she ask?

She looks down at her empty hands, eyes soft and voice quiet. She didn't want to admit something else was wrong with her. But there's no getting around it. ]

... I spent... ten years of my life alone. That's a whole decade. I couldn't ask for help then because... there was literally no one to ask. I had to do everything on my own to survive and get home. Those years really messed me up... but I convinced myself, once I was home, that it'd all go away really quickly. That I'd be back to normal in no time at all.

... But I think it's... obvious now. I don't let you guys help because, a part of me is just... locked in that way. Because a part of me still thinks I can't ask for help.

[blitzcheer]

[ He sits and listen, and ten years - ten years alone - it touches him more personally than is appropriate to put into words right now. Not the same story, but he's thought about it before; thought about because of Della even, parents separated from their family, if for different reasons.

But once she's done, Tidus reaches over and takes one of her hands, looking her by the face; the eyes if she looks back. ]

Then, we'll get you out of there, [ he says, sure and promising. ] You're not alone, and you're not useless. You're Della, and you know who that is? The most stubborn force of nature I know on this train you don't wanna mess with.

[ And he starts to grin, the edges of his mouth pulling up. ]

Stubborn can be bad, but this? Let's work through this. Let's do this. I'm gonna show you so much cool tech, you're gonna be bouncing off the walls! I mean it: there's this one gizmo we have? It'll let you jump high, and stop you smashing into the ground! You'll love it!

[sos_pilot]

[ She smiles, but as she does, the tears are welling up. She's so fortunate to know so many wonderful, amazing people. She doesn't want to screw up and hurt them like she hurt her family. ]

... Got any gizmo for a good hug? Cause... I'm starting to feel I really need that one.

[blitzcheer]

[ His enthusiasm comes to a halt, but at least it doesn't sink. Except, he does cool it intentionally, his smile spreading more warmly than energetically. The hand he'd started to wave lowering, and with a second- ]

You can't let anyone else know. [ But he shifts his chair, coming better to face her, arms opening. ] C'mon - all of you, right here.

[ Right on his lap. This isn't the time for awkward leaning hugs, Della. Time to use this size difference proper so Tidus can embrace her better. ]

[sos_pilot]

[ And she goes all in. No hesitation, just diving on in.

The height difference makes her think of her childhood, and being hugged by her Uncle Scrooge. Her heart tugs at the fond memory - and at all those she misses.

The tears come without warning, and she buries her face into Tidus's shoulder, sniffling. ]

[blitzcheer]

[ He wraps his arms around her, and he doesn't speak to interrupt her - or her tears anyway, what she needs to let out. It's not the first time today he's had to hold someone like this, and it's getting so common now for him to do. Wearing at his heart too; the pain people are going through, and though it's usually to do with the train, feeling inadequate - that's nothing new.

There's promises he wants to make, but he holds them back on his tongue. Something like this--Della will need to overcome most of all, through her own strengths. He'll just has to believe in her, help where he can.

Just hopefully, she'll remember to accept it: the help already surrounding her, just like she gives out too. ]

[sos_pilot]

[ Eventually, Della calms down enough to pull away... Sort of.

She shifts, and then leans up to, lightly, put a motherly kiss on Tidus' forehead.

Just let her have this. Just this. ]

... Thank you, Tidus.

[blitzcheer]

[ and then tidus melted into nothing at the impact of one motherly kiss.




Or, no. But it does make Tidus's cheeks warm with some embarrassment, any colour not so noticeable against his skin. He makes a bit of a face, but it's hardly there, eyes darting aside before sheepishly coming back. ]

Yeah. [ Yeah, don't worry about it. He lets his hands drop down her back, offers less awkwardly, more genuine: ]

Let's hope you get to see your family soon. [ As slow-going as that hope has been so far. Still: ] Whatever you do - you're fighting to get back to them.

[sos_pilot]

... Yes. Always, and forever.

[ She strokes his hair, and then begins to slide off his lap. ]

... And I know you won't give up either. I don't think you know how.