Day 29, audio, open

[runs_on_batteries]

[He knows he promised to leave her alone. He'd been trying his hardest to do that too. However, he hadn't seen her in two days. He had a bad feeling in his stomach, so.. he was breaking his promise, which sucked. The worry was obvious in his tone along with the guilt of knowing he was crossing lines.

But, he was a dad. He might not be her dad, but it was a dad thing. He had to.]

Buttercup, if you're hiding from me, fine. Just.. let someone know to tell me you're okay?

Has anyone seen her? I don't need to know anything other than that. Just, as long as she's safe and someone has seen her.

Comments

[runs_on_batteries]

Sorry.

[He could tell by the way there was a pause here that he'd struck too hard. He'd been hurt by what Peter had said and he lashed out. It hadn't been right.]

Why do you assume the worst of me Peter? By leaving her alone, I'm not meaning I avoid her at all costs. I'm giving her time to heal from whatever I did. We've been making some progress. She came back to the room. She's seeing that I can be trusted again.

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ He really hadn't meant to snap like that, but it felt a lot like Tony was insinuating it was Peter's fault he had so many triggers. It wasn't hi fault, it isn't his fault and that's a thing he has to constantly remind himself. ]

I'm not assuming the worst, Mr Stark. I just... May and Ben made a lot of mistakes at first. They didn't know how to handle it either, they were angry and upset and a lot of the time I thought it was me they were upset at, you know? Cause I let-I mean I felt like I let it happen. If I had just-then they wouldn't have to be so upset. He takes in a breath and shakes his head. Now is really, really not the time to go into detail about that.

But, if you made a mistake in handling what I told you, and then said you'd were gonna give me space, I'd have thought you were giving up on me-that you didn't want to deal with it.

I don't know exactly how she feels about it-she might not think that at all-but that's how I'd feel. So I'm trying to just get her to open up a little at a time.

[runs_on_batteries]

[It was so frustrating. For as much as Peter seemed to idolize him, he kept getting the feeling the kid barely knew him. There were plenty of times he didn't want Peter to know him but other times, like this, it was hard. The assumption he was doing this wrong or wasn't doing enough when Tony was doing a whole lot more than 'leave her alone' like he'd claimed. He downplayed that kind of stuff. Maybe it was a kid thing to not see how much a parent does behind the scenes. All he knew was that he'd hurt Peter's feelings and right or wrong, Tony hadn't meant to.

And perhaps, ther was something Peter could teach him from this. He shouldn't completely ignore the fact the kid had been through something like this. ]

And how would you propose I proceed after she got so mad she moved out of our room? If I had done that wrong, wouldn't you have wanted some time?

[hashtagparkerluck]

[ And maybe Peter should have thought there was more of a reason Tony would give her space. He'd probably lashed out on that himself because when Skip happened we went through a pretty bad case of separation anxiety with May. He didn't even want to leave the house to go to school. ]

I don't know... [ he admits after honestly thinking about it. ] Maybe? It's just... a kneejerk reaction because I know being left alone was like the last thing I wanted after-I think I slept in May and Ben's bed for like six weeks.

but she's different than I am, and she thinks differently-so maybe alone really was what she wanted. But at the same time, I know her abuse must have been continuous so she'd be scared-or maybe not scared but suspicious of anyone trying to help her-especially if her abuser convinced her that she deserved it and no one would really ever care-'cause that's what they do you, know. They make you feel like you can't tell anyone because then everyone would hate you.

and I talked to her a little-I tried to get her to understand that's not right but it's harder because she's from a world where I get the impression child abuse is just kinda common place based on what she said after I said that kinda thing usually gets people thrown in jail in my world.

So I'm kinda... I don't know that space-under any circumstances is a great option because what does she thing about when she's alone? How suspicious of us is she really? Is she just thinking everyone's gonna turn on her?

I hate thinking that so I keep talking to her. Mostly about my world, and stuff that's happened to me and in return she kinda tells me some about her world but she's pretty tight-lipped.

[runs_on_batteries]

[Perhaps less insight about Buttercup, but it was always helpful to understand Peter better. And really, did it matter if Peter understood Tony? That wasn't how these things were supposed to go, after all. He was the child and in need of protection, not Tony.]

I'm hoping that if she sees how I treat other people she'll see who I am and that I can be trusted to keep my word. She's seen what I do to you when I get angry and it's not hit you. I'm hoping.. I don't know.

Speaking of which, you know there are places in our world where it's not common place that hitting a child or disciplining them harshly would result in prison. That's something we've taken for granted in America and something us Avengers are trying to fix.

[hashtagparkerluck]

Well, you've never hit me ever so she's definitely seen that you don't hit me when I mouth off-which I do a lot. So-blanket apology for that. Uh... anyway.

and yeah, I know. Really, it's not that uncommon even in America but the point was for her consider the idea that people shouldn't be hitting her.

[runs_on_batteries]

Yeah yeah. Don't push your luck, kid!

[He breaths a laugh, obviously not a serious threat.]

I really hope she comes back soon.

[hashtagparkerluck]

Yeah, me too.

[ He really doesn't like the idea of her having gone back home so he has to believe she'll come back. ]

She's a lot of fun to talk to. I taught her how to play hangman and I tried really, really hard to let her win but I should have picked a shorter word, I guess.

[runs_on_batteries]

Did you know the way she talks is a dialect in her world? It's not just terrible English.

[hashtagparkerluck]

no, I mean. I wondered about it a few times, but she didn't seem to have any trouble with new words.

But like.. I don't really think everyone on the train speaks English as their native language was there's probably like some telepathic field or something that automatically translates languages.