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Audio: Someone's Home!.. and pissed

Whoever keeps kidnapping us and stuffing us in a shimatta suitcase needs to go to Hell! Kuso!

[A very angry huff is heard, followed by a much softer 'ow'. Someone wasn't watching where he was going as he stumbled around getting his bearings in the baggage car.]

If you've done anything to my friends while I was gone you're going to regret it! Shimatta!

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Whoa dude. There are little kids around [ ignore that he’s said shit over the intercom a few times now. ]

Glad to see you’re okay though. Don’t attack the wall or I’m gonna seriously have to start a wall of shame list.

[He took a deep breath to stop the desire to keep cursing, although his tone stayed very irritated.]

I'm pissed not stupid! How long have I been gone?

So you're back. [Conan was actually very relieved that Hattori had come back from his absence in one piece, not that he would admit this. ]

Did you find out anything useful?

Tantei-han~!"

He's not relieved you are.

"Need a hand, Hattori-kun? We got your message."

Yes.

Gravity works.

[He was so unamused by all of this.]

They- whoever 'they' is- put me in suitcase in on top of a bunch of other ones and I fell and stuff landed- just trust me, it was annoying.

[That was kind of... sweet. Dare he say the gem thief was happy to hear from him?]

Yeah? Great! I didn't have much time after I heard the voice call me. Like I don't even remember putting it down before.. well, I was waking up here. How long was I gone?

[ Yes. But he's not admitting it to you! ]

Damn. You've been gone long enough to send tantei-kun twitching. [ He tattles cheerfully ]

We were hoping you'd come back with some decent info.

[ Excuse you, Hattori, those are several no-no words!!

But although Madoka is a little startled hearing them being used, she does realise the more important aspect here of this voice actually being familiar. And one she hasn't heard in a while. ]

O.. Oh, are you okay?

[And that gets a quick laugh out of him. Dammit Kaito! He's trying to be mad here!]

Ah! So Conan actually missed me? I'm flattered.

[He sighs, wishing he had something better to say to that.]

I was hoping I would too, but I don't. The only reason I know what's going on is we were talking about how this happened to other people otherwise.. Anyway, what I do know is I heard the conductor's voice say 'Hattori Heiji, you are needed in the control coach'. It was just like the announcements that come over the ICP. I didn't know where the control coach was but I left the message instead. Then I woke up in the suitcase. It doesn't even feel like any time passed between those two things.

[Sorry, Madoka. The detective of the west has a temper, but he knows enough to feel a little embarrassed when she speaks up and reminds him there are others on board who might not have appreciated that language.]

I don't know. I think so. I banged my knee falling out of a suitcase.

[Why did he just admit that over the ICP?]

I know if I woke up there that means I've been missing. How long have I been gone, a couple days?

[ There's a slight moment of hesitation, since Madoka sure doesn't like to be the bearer of bad news. But it's not like she could lie, so.. ]

No. I think it was longer than that.. [ She tries to think really hard of when she last saw him. It's been a while, right? ] I was already getting a little worried when I never saw you playing chess anymore.. but I'm glad to know you're alright now.

[ Or. Well. More or less alright. ]

.. aside from your knee, maybe.

Did you get anything else?

[He'd been expecting more.]

[ He prefers you happy, k? ]

Damn. [ He sighs ] Oh well. Maybe stuff will come back to you later? I wish I knew their fascination with suitcases though. Like. You could be returned normally but nooooo. Gotta come back in a suitcase. Gives a person ideas.

And here I thought Satoru's language was bad.

Welcome back.

[He huffs but manages not to say anything worse.]

I think it's a perfectly reasonable reaction to being trapped in a suitcase.

[It's not.]

But thank you. Do you know how long I was gone?

[He really hates admitting this, especially to you.]

No. I heard the conductor's voice saying I was needed in the control room and next thing I know I'm waking up in the suitcase. As soon as I heard my name I was making you that message. I don't even remember finishing it. It doesn't feel like any time passed between that moment and being in the suitcase. I only know it did because it's happened to other people and it was pretty obvious where I was when I woke. I don't remember it smelling quite that bad last time I was in the baggage carriage. It's like standing in an ash tray!

[Most people do. An angry Hattori was never a good thing, just ask his dad's co-workers.]

Right? It's so demeaning! I'd like to stuff whoever is doing that into a suitcase and see how they like it.

[Another sigh.]

So what have I missed?

[Oh no. He knows what that hesitation was likely for. He groans when she confirms it.]

How long has it been?

[Yes, that was totally a whine. This was so annoying!

At least the comment about the knee gets a bit of a chuckle.]

I'm fine! I've had way worse than a scraped knee before. Thank you for the concern though.

[ True. Also, he prefers his Detectives Alive and Well, and (mostly) Happy ]

Maybe they think it's an easy way to return people without stopping at a platform? Gotta be something more comfortable though....

Eh. You missed Conan and I resorting to UNO. It's no fun playing poker with only two of us. [ They do rather know all each other's tricks by now ] And you missed the snowball fights in the garden car - that was Epic. I got soaked. And they had hot chocolate!

Um..

[ There's still some slight hesitation, but she can't avoid answering when he's asking her so directly! So she instead starts thinking and counting on her fingers for a moment. ]

I don't think I've seen you since we returned from the last stop.. So that's maybe been three weeks? [ So. Yeah. A lot longer than he thought, huh. ]

Conan immediately seizes on the relevant part of that.

"No time? So you don't know how long it's been here?"

No. Like even if I were asleep, I would've at least felt like time had passed somehow. I literally feel like I was just making that message and I found myself in the suitcase.

[He paused.]

What do you think that means?

What I don't understand is why take us in the first place? What are they doing with us and and why?

[He didn't feel like anything had changed, physically.

He laughed about UNO.]

That's bad if you- a snowball fight? I missed a snowball fight?!

[He's so mad all over again!]

[His jaw dropped (not that she could see it) and he was speechless for a few moments.]

I've been gone for three weeks?

Dunno - was kinda hoping you'd come back with some info!

[ He sighs and laughs ]

You could ask the Spider. Charlotte, I think? She's was hoovering up snow into some subdimensional pocket. Maybe she can make a few snowballs for ya?

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Audio: Someone's Home!.. and pissed

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