"You don't do anything to annoy me. Part of why I figured I could ask ya." He's not going to claim he can't be annoyed. Oh, he can definitely be annoyed. Peter was a champion at it.

"And I know how it is for you. I don't even hug ya, I came up with other ways of showin' I give a shit. And besides, it's also for me... As much as I care about ya, I need somethin' that I don't think you could give me. ...Actually I don't think anyone could give me, and I need to stop lookin' for it. I'm too damn old and need to put it out of my head."

He smears his hands down his face. Right. What he has now with all his friends is good enough. It's a hell of a lot better than what he had back home. He needs to hang onto that, give up the other shit.