Orchestra Day 14

[yondu]

[Video]

[Yondu's opting for a video post though he did consider audio. But he really wants to put out there how important this is to him. He needs help and he can finally damn well practice what he preaches and ask for it.]

[Okay, deep, uneasy exhale before explaining.]

I uh.... before I showed up here, the same day even, there was a mutiny aboard my ship. Had a buncha folks decide they didn't like I was takin' cheaper jobs to keep from doin' stuff I weren't comfortable with. I was usually able to make excuses- we still made plenty but a few outspoken bastards were real upset I didn't always pick the options with more in our pockets, and then my first mate got jealous. Called me out in front of everyone. 'Caused a shitstorm. [He's a little distant in describing that.]

He didn't know how bad it'd get. The traitors... they uh... Hell... Alright if you're a kid or you don't gotta deal with a lotta death, just turn this off. Get the hell outa here. It ain't for you. [He takes a moment for them to do that if they care to. Alright? Good. Carrying on.] I was detained proper at the time. Couldn't use my arrow, couldn't fight, too hurt to get loose. They shoved 'em one by one out an airlock an' I couldn't save 'em. We're talkin' a hundred plus men dead, one by one. It was not just a few. Just left to float like garbage thrown out a window and they laughed about it and mocked 'em as they watched 'em go.

[There's a moment of shaky-breathed anger, but, you know, what's done is done. Assholes what done it are dead now, they cain't do it to anyone else or use his ship to go make the universe an even worse place or harass his family. He's good.] Dyin' in space is like freezin' and drownin' at the same time. Every moment of it hurts 'cause you feel your outside freezin' in, an' at some point you know even if you was saved the life left in ya wouldn't be worth it. [He can say that from experience. There's a little bit where you know how bad the damage is.] Almost three decades some of those men had been with me. Good and bad. I didn't make a lotta friends but they did mean somethin' to me. And someone gave me the idea maybe I could put 'em to rest if I could do somethin' memorialwise. I don't want the last thoughts directed at 'em to be their own crewmates bein' happy about 'em dyin'.

Ravagers... when we die, usually we're remembered. If our bodies cain't be picked up, we're toasted by our crew. If our bodies are there, we're put in the ship's engine. Turned to stardust, get to travel forever. And the one that's usually for captains is a ship flying its Colors- you do this big light show. Well, no crew here besides myself to drink to 'em, and their bodies ain't anywhere to be found [not to mention a hundred-some people is a lot] so I figured I'd ask anyone that can do lights an' illusions if they'd help me out to fly them the Colors whenever we're at a stop where our lives don't depend on it and there's a sky overhead. They weren't captains but they was loyal enough. I don't know if I could pay ya, but I been sittin' on knowin' what happened to 'em and I ain't been able to think of a way to really make it right.

Comments

[nell_of_soulwood]

Must be a lotta people back home not in their right mind!

[That's made her chuckle a bit. She does like Yondu, he always makes her feel like a good person for doing even the smallest of things.]

Maybe I'll ask them then. When I see if they want to help with the food.

Audio

[goingthroughaphase]

[ The warning is probably for her too, but she doesn't stop listening, even when it gets to the worst part. ]

...I'm so sorry. That's so awful.

I can't really do anything with lights, but if there's something else I can do to help...

[katzenpfote]

No, I... understand. In some ways, at least. I've... lost people, as well.

You just tell me where and when, and I'll be more than happy to provide. It's the least we can do here, right? To... do what we can for one another.

[stonefvced]

( He thinks that those who seem the toughest are the most vulnerable underneath it all-- a good breeding place for loneliness and jealousy. Thoughts he'll keep to himself for now, though. Tobirama knows that he himself wouldn't be able to fully trust someone like that even if he's forgiven the previous actions. He didn't trust Orochimaru, and though they've come a long way he still -- if he was being honest -- didn't trust Sasuke.

Deep down there was that seed just waiting to be proven right. He sighs, an audible and heavy one. )

There is something to be said for him coming back to do the right thing, at least. ( A sip parts the two statements. ) I hope that this helps you put your friends to rest.

[yondu]

It's a conversation I'm glad I don't gotta have. I don't know that I could trust 'im again. But he's probably the only one left what cared enough to see my funeral done right. I wanna think I can trust that much out of him.

[Yondu's a forgiving man, but never has been a trusting one. Trust is hard-earned, and easily lost. Loathe as he is to admit it he couldn't even trust Peter. And while people rarely trusted him, if they were on his good side they could at least always count on the fact Yondu would show up if he was called on.]

I told Sanzo once that I hope at least some of 'em found their own trains. As long as some people know they did good an' what was done to 'em wasn't right. [That they weren't just a bunch of throwaway dead Ravagers. And maybe he shouldn't have said his personal stake over the network, but he needed people to know he wouldn't damn well just let his crew die if he had the choice.]

[action]

[wishalone]

[Kyoko decides against replying to the public post. Instead, she waits until evening to seek Yondu out, and when she finds him, she offers him the open end of her bag of chips.]

I know you got a lotta offers already. But I'll be there when you do the colors thing.

[yondu]

Oh I got no doubt about it. Religious crazy is a whole special brand.

[And boy, has he seen a lot of it since coming to the train. Between her and Kyoko he's about ready to learn Voidcraft just so he can go beat some preachers.]

[yondu]

Yeah, and I'm plum sick of illusions just meant to screw with my head anyway. I kinda wanna see 'em used for somethin' like this.

[yondu]

From what you said he sounds like quite a guy.

[He'll not dig in that memory, he's seen how hard it is on him. Even when it comes down to him just getting around.]

[yondu]

[He knows a lot of the kids here have seen some pretty bad shit, but he also doesn't want to overdo the exposure. He could have just went to a few people he knows that do illusions? But he didn't want to recount the story over and over again. Plus this way? Everyone knows what happened to those men was wrong.]

I think they woulda been happy for just someone giving a shit that they was treated unfairly. Nell offered to cook somethin', though, if you'd wanna help out with that.

[Maybe if people came it meant he could feed them.]

[yondu]

[He's just chilling in the library when she finds him. He accepts one, his sharp teeth making it sound extra crunchy when he chomps it down. Though in general, he's acting a little distant.]

Loyalty goes a long way. They deserve whatever they can get.

[Even if he has a lot of offers, they could stand a big show.]

[stonefvced]

Would you wish that trauma on them? ( He finally gets to his own salad, the sweet tanginess offsetting the bitter quite well. Thinks for a second to mention something-- doesn't. No use in that. Unlikely to work. ) I've thought this a few times. What it does to a person to come back when they've endured such a traumatic death. For them, it may be better they stay passed.

[yondu]

Some of 'em. The ones what could handle it. I described it 'cause that's how I died, and here I am. I know quite a few of 'em... bastards would probably just jump up an' laugh about how they didn't get got after all.

[And he finds himself smiling. For all that they weren't 'friends', sometimes he does miss watching their antics. How hard they celebrated everything.]

I bet you got a few of those, too.

[renegadeprince]

No promises. [Vegeta would normally snap that Oozaru form was not a child's toy for play, it was used for a purpose... but this was Yondu, and he's talking about his crew that had been brutally killed off... so Vegeta will bite back his pride's need to point that out.]

Is there any preparations I can assist with?

[worthallthis]

"You're not that old," Soldat says with a blink, in part because that's the easiest part in all that to respond to. They aren't entirely sure if he's just talking about sex, or romantic feelings, or-- honestly, they only kind of vaguely remember what all of that felt like, anyway, and as much as it pains them to not be able to give someone what they need, Soldat has one limit, and too much touching is that limit.

"Besides, even if you are old, that doesn't mean you can't find somebody," they add, remembering Stone and Ashford. "There were a couple of old men in Beacon who would go around leaning on each other and making pointed jokes."

[yondu]

His expression twists up into the most pointedly confused and unsexy face he can manage, before he shakes his head. "It's not that. I mean, findin' company is easy. I know I ain't to ever'body's taste but I can get by if I need to."

Theoretically easy. He's been cock-blocked left and right since coming to the train.

"Nah, it's..." He winces, because... well, he doesn't talk about this. Hardly ever, because for one thing it makes him such a damn sadsack. He knows Soldat won't judge him though. Especially since sex isn't a part of this conversation. For another, he doesn't want help with it. All he needs is someone to take a wild hair and start playing a vile game of Getimwitem.

"I told Devero once that if Sanzo had one prayer left in him, it'd be for him. And it got me to thinkin'.... Now, excusin' kids because they're always the priority... that's the kinda thing I'd want. To have that thing where you look at somebody an' know they'd be savin' one last prayer for you, and feelin' it right back."

[yondu]

[Sometimes some men just want to see all hell break loose and root it on, no matter what the cause behind it. You come from a horrifically strict and domineering culture to start? Kinda nice to see a giant ape maybe punch a building.]

Apparently there'll be food? [People offered.] Maybe your buddy Goku would like ya to eat some in his honor.

[Judging from the stories he's heard.]

I know he ain't dead or nothin' but. Y'know.

[Sometimes you just miss people.]

[katzenpfote]

I prefer using them for better ends, too. I've seen both ends of the spectrum with illusions, even before here.

[stonefvced]

( There were some, he supposed. Hashirama always had a resilience to him but they had to; they all had to. He'd deliberated on it several times, actually. After his brother's passing. Seeking counsel for things his widowed wife simply couldn't fulfill but couldn't bring himself to do it.

Others, though. Glad to be returned to the land of the living. None of those people were particularly... good to have back. A few exceptions he supposed. Naruto. Sasuke. )

A few. ( A pause. ) The list of those I'd be happy to see return fewer. Our life after is not so bad.

[yondu]

I guess it does have a difference if ya got some idea that there's definitely a better place out there.

[When it's all about how people remember you, he really does want an extension for some. He definitely thinks without him, some of 'em will lead better lives, be a part of better crews, and that's just a fact. It's a lot of weight in the conversation, though, even for one about the dead and their continued life.]

[He thinks about saying something else, but scoops octopus into his mouth to keep it busy. It's not exactly elegant, refined eating, munching pieces whole, but that's a sharp tooth thing he can't even help. At least it's not the disaster the grilled cheese was.]

[yondu]

All kinds of holograms on my world. Funny though, holograms don't work so good with me when they're meant for trickin'. Magic-made images can slip right by me and if my fin ain't on I'll take 'em as real.

[renegadeprince]

[Food was good. However Vegeta scoffed at the mention of a certain someone.] I don't need to do anything for Kakarot's honor. Nor would he want me to. [They were both very independent, didn't want to rely on the other, and pushed through via their own paths by themselves even if they were allies. Plus no doubt wherever he is the idiot was fine. He always was. They would meet back up another time one day, simple as that.

Of course Vegeta's answer may change if asked about this again after the train questions to come... but for now, Goku's just something he waves off.]

[wisdominshadows]

I have a bit of experience with detailed work.

[Zelda looks thoughtful, then holds out a hand. A bit of light gathers in her palm, then begins to shape itself into the form of a bird. As the wings solidify, the bird launches itself into the air, circling its creator a few times before vanishing.]

Less at large scale, admittedly. I don't normally need anything more than human-sized.

[worthallthis]

(I don't see why he wouldn't be to anybody's taste. Honestly, I don't, either. Maybe it's the blue? YOU GUYS ARE REALLY DUMB, SOMETIMES. Shut up, normie. HEY! Cut it out, both of you.)

Soldat keeps that internal, because it really doesn't seem like the kind of conversation for rambling about the ins and outs of physical attraction, particularly when they don't necessarily understand it the way Bucky Barnes did back in the 40s. Instead the frown a little. "You want to be someone's favorite person," they surmise. "I. Understand."

And they... don't think they could pick a favorite person. Misty, Steve, Sora, Yondu, Javert-- they all vie for the position, none more than the others, they think. But they know back before HYDRA, Steve pretty firmly had that place. Is that part of how romance holds no appeal for them, now? Does that mean they're broken here, too?

[yondu]

Luckily there's that normal voice in there to help fill in the blanks. He assumes that he's trying to work out what he means, as Yondu has a way with words and frequently that way is not helpful.

"Not so much favorite person. Like I said, people got kids, they got parents, they got all kinds of people they're gonna hold up, maybe higher than you. But there's a kind of like where they make every-" sense? No, don't say that. That's not fair to him, 'cause that was goddamn ruined for him by those bastards. "Just everythin' feel good. I've felt that kinda thing on my end before, and I know some people can have it with moren' one person. Hell, I probably could.

"Just... ain't nobody ever gonna look at me the same way as I look at them." Even on a much lighter level. Or he's not going to look at them the same way back.

He does hate that they took something important way from Soldat. And who knows, maybe there's someone out there that matches that. That needs someone that will never expect too much out of them after everything they've been through. But in Yondu's case, he's surrounded by it and he didn't know he wanted it so bad until he saw it everywhere. Seeing the tenderness and understanding between Aziraphale and Crowley, seeing the fire between Bulma and Vegeta, seeing the moon shine like the sun when Koumyou looks at Devero. Hearing pure loyalty come out of Prompto or Vexen for their respective kings and knowing that they're adored for it.

"Don't tell nobody I said this shit. I never mention it 'cause people might try to play matchmaker and I will absolutely be a dick about it."